OMG, I infiltrated a candid NT discussion about an autistic

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Some of my co-workers were talking about an autistic friend of theirs, and they weren't exactly understanding. These guys are all just out of high school and just ripping on a friend , if they can really call themselves that. The guy obviously haves some problems with social skills but I was shocked when I heard his associates started revealing what they thought about him, his differences, and his family. No wonder autistics have a rough go. If all you have is friends talking like that about you I couldn't see how trying to continue social relations wouldn't be any good for you, just dealing with all that damage, on top of trying social scenarios. There is a longggg way to go on autistic public understanding my friends...if that is even an answer. I keep getting the feeling that it will be our, or my problem that I need to change habits in order to avoid this kind of repoir with people I interact with

Wow! That's sad!

I seee.

In situations like these I tell myself that it requires higher cognitive functions in order to see beyond people's "oddness", or whatever you want to call it, and to see their value. Clearly it's an ability these people lack.

That's the reason, that I'm not very fond of people, that age group. What kind of things did they say, about him?

differences scare people. and it also gave them an opportunity to bond with each other.

I've heard some terrible things too.

And unfortunately it's not just autistic people. I hear people trashtalk their supposed friends all the time, even if the friends aren't considered weird. It's sad. I like to think people actually like their friends, but too often that's not the case.

Sorry to know of that scenario but I am, regrettably, not surprised. People can be harsh! (Gee....and 'they' say Autists aren't empathetic......hmmm).

Next scenario, related. In my former apartment (I moved last Oct.) my very nice/gentle neighbor is schizophrenic. I'll never forget what he told me: In high school he was quiet/shy but did have some friends and they'd go camping together and sometimes meet to watch a movie - the usual. Then, he began having symptoms, which he kept to himself. He successfully graduated from high school but his condition was progressing - he was hospitalized and diagnosed with schizophrenia.

This town is quite small so of course his 'friends' learned of his illness. They avoided him too. He was was never again invited to 'hang-out' with his buddies and none would even call him to say "I'm sorry, hope you're feeling better" or "I'm thinking of you, take care of yourself" or "Let me know if I can help." How cruel. My neighbor spent his time trying to recover, alone, and he suffers. Although I don't know him well I really admire him (and I've told him so). He's so sweet and his prognosis is good because he's a fighter and really bright. (IMO, far stronger than these 'friends').

Once he knocked on my door at 11 at night! Never had he done that - he was having a serious panic attack (with symptoms). He asked for nothing but stood at my door crying hard. I brought him hot tea (with plenty of spare bags) plus some reading materials and he said he felt much better. I suggested he could call his Auntie (his favorite person) - he did and she came right away. I checked on him the next day and he graciously thanked me.

Anyway, he told me, with regard to these 'friends,' that they are not a friend and cannot know the meaning of friendship. Further, these would not be the sort of people who are 'friend-material.' Indeed. What a bitter lesson but I entirely understand what he means.

I have experienced this, many times. I have learned that people that I thought I had bonded with, or befriended, were laughing at me behind my back. (They hadn't the courage to do it in front of me!) I suppose they thought that they were wonderfully cool and suave, but looking back, my hurt diminishes when I realize that they were so firmly entrenched in the "herd" that they just went along with it. They were not fit for friendship, IMOO.

BTW, LabPet, your response to that schizophrenic guy was awesome. I wish more people were like you!

I've seen and heard people do that before, and it sickens me both figuratively and literally.

This is why i do not trust people.

Not good, it sounds like one of the worst features of humans the formation of a pack which pick on one they view as weaker or different.

My advise to the OP is this, you need to make a choice. If you are a crypto aspie living in the aspie closet then act with great care as you might blow your cover.

You might want to say to the pack, he did not choose the way he is, why not just stop discussing his condition. You could point out that you should not discuss a coworker's breast or lung cancer condition behind their back, so surely the AS is also out of bounds.

If you are super nervous about blowing your cover then say nothing.

If you are living openly as an aspie then you might want to be more vigerous in telling them to leave the man alone.

_________________
Health is a state of physical, mental and social wellbeing and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity I am not a jigsaw, I am a free man !

Diagnosed under the DSM5 rules with autism spectrum disorder, under DSM4 psychologist said would have been AS (299.80) but I suspect that I am somewhere between 299.80 and 299.00 (Autism) under DSM4.

When I worked in the resteraunt everyone talked s**t about everyone. I guess its normal NT behavior. I did it to fit in. When we were not talking crap about one another we were laughing at customers they even had a pool for a spot an ugly baby contest. They had a polaroid camera in the bosses office. I never took part in it but they made me a judge. (If there is a hell I will be going for this alone)

My first day on the job when I was sitting at the the break table two guys seemed like good friend but one guy got up the other made sure the other was not looking he spit in the guys drink. He then told me if I screwed with him I'll get worse. So after that I just assumed my food or drinks were getting messed with and started doing it myself to their food and drinks left unattended as revenge against attacks both real or imagined. You could not imagine some of the stuff these people said about the people they liked so I could only imagine what they were saying about me who they all hated without reason. My friend Tom who got me the job kept telling me it was because I would not hangout with them after work. He would tell me about the stupis crap these guys did after work why would I want to be apart of that.

I'm really glad I don't have to put up with being an 'employee' in order to make a good living any more.

Looking back I can see that I was almost unemployable (or at the very least a very difficult co-worker)

I'm really glad I don't have to put up with being an 'employee' in order to make a good living any more.

Looking back I can see that I was almost unemployable (or at the very least a very difficult co-worker)