Traits you do/don't have

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What traits do you have and which do you not have (or not have much)

Eye Contact (at times dad will say I'm over here and my eyes are focused elsewhere but that's rare mainly when I'm not wanting to pay attention LOL!)

meltdown (in the aspect of maybe hands over my ears or other interesting behavior reactions to the aspect of having a meltdown.) I do run off and cry in my room ALOT perhaps this could be considered a meltdown.

Rudeness (Yep definite 100% Usually when I'm trying to be myself/be happy I have this just the other day I was told "You've been a rude b***h today") Then I fealt bad!!

Walking issue (Surely not everyone on the spectrum has this but I do walk crooked and HATE my ankles being tied down to where I can't move them (such as when I had an MRI on my hurt knee those 45min. were agonizing! I couldn't move my foot around the way I feel comfortable!! !!)

Show emotion differently (Another 100% while others are upset I'm mute and don't show much emotion)

Special Interest (Yep I love talking about them and spewing facts I know sadly which upsets my family I get stuck on one thing (as dad puts it)

I can't think of any others at this time which can you think of

I'm never rude intentionally, and I do have obsessive interests to some degree but I don't think my interests are that narrow, I also don't monologue about them, I used to.

Mmm...I also have a *decent* amount of empathy, I suppose, and I have a wicked yet offbeat sense of humor, so I've been told. I think the idea that Aspies have zero sense of humor is false anyway, most people just don't get their humor. Most people don't get mine either when I really stop filtering myself, I have a decent sense of what people understand and what they don't.

I have most of the other traits in varying degrees.

All of the ones you mentioned, except I seldom have 'meltdowns'. One that I would also add would be resistance to change in routine (which I have).

I don't have trouble reading facial expressions, body language, or tone of voice in others. I'm more likely to be oversensitive than undersensitive to other people's moods.

Other than that I probably have most all of the traits to some degree.

Let us see....
I'll just address the traits you've mentioned that I exhibit regularly.

Meltdowns = Definitely! Get bombarded with too much information or overstimulated, I meltdown and panic. Plans change or they have to be altered, I meltdown and panic. Get too emotional about anything or become too involved with thinking about the past...I meltdown. Most times I can recover in a day or couple hours. Occasionally after a complete nuclear leak and meltdown...maybe a week to a month to recover. Always feels like I have to reconstruct the narrative of my life up TILL the meltdown and only then I can progress.

Eye Contact = I've learned how to "act" around most people if the environment is pleasant or casual. I know what is considered "normal" behavior and try to be a shining example of politeness and civility. It is an act and I can only keep it up for a short time. So I am good to interview or have a meeting. Keeping up the act for an extended amount of time is impossible. Afterward I am completely exhausted.

Rudeness = Yep. But like I said about Eye Contact...I try to follow literal social rules of engagement. That being said, I am percieved as being quiet but when I start talking I get VERY INTENSE and FOCUSED on a topic. Also on rudeness, I over analyze my interactions with people to make sure I wasn't percieved as rude or crass.

Walking Issue = I can't hold still unless I am focused on a project. My wife calls my meanderings around the house as "sharking". Like sharks swimming around prey before the attack.

Perceived Emotions = I always look angry or melancholic.

Special Interests = Sure. Recently they have shifted and it is sometimes keeping up is a challenge.

Note: When I am by myself or with close friends (which I don't have many), I feel fine...uh...normal? It is usually when I leave the house and mingle with the herd that all my special qualities shine.

Interesting replies it is usually me being myself and IMO being happy that I have trait issues. It's not like I'm trying to be rude I just am. Also on the routine thing I do it aswell and will repeat grocery store/mall/burger king right or burger kind then mall the grocery store (Just so I make sure where we are going first and so we don't forget since mom forgets stuff at the store at times I try to remember her grocery list (sometimes I do sometimes I don't)

Meltdowns: I have almost daily meltdowns, sometimes several a day. I'm trying to get better about controlling them, but it's so difficult! Usually I want to break something or punch things but I've tried swearing instead because it's less destructive. I don't want to get into the habit of swearing though so I'm at a bit of a loss as to where to go from here.

Eye contact: As I child I was always lectured and scolded for not making eye contact with people, to the point where people sometimes thought I wouldn't meet their eyes because I was lying to them. Today, I consciously force myself to make eye contact with people, sometimes to the point of making them uncomfortable. Usually I don't even realize it, but my family/friends are always telling me to stop staring. On the other hand, I also use it as a weapon: if someone has been hassling me, I consciously stare until he/she looks away.

Rudeness: I am famous for being rude, although I very seldom intend to be. My "specialty" is being rude to salespeople. It infuriates me that I can't go into a store without a salesperson approaching me and asking me if they can help me, then coming back every five minutes with the same question. If I want their help, I will ask for it. Otherwise, please leave me alone! My being "cold" (something I'm often accused of) seems to be generally lumped into the rudeness category as well. I'm just not a one of those people who walks around smiling at strangers. I'm also inconsiderate, or at least I'm told that. I try to think of other people but I just don't ever know what to do to help them. My father takes it as a personal insult that I don't instinctively know what to do to be helpful.

Special interests: I have virtually quit my long monologues on them to people who couldn't care less, but I've found a good outlet: I'm getting a Ph.D. in the field of my interest! So I can talk quite long and extensively to my colleagues, and while none of them are on the spectrum (to the best of my knowledge), they are far more understanding of my interests than most other people are, considering that they share some of them.

Perceived emotions: Since I have such a hard time reading other people, I tend to overcompensate, which, of course, poses problems of its own. I guess it's better to be overly sensitive (except I often pick up on the wrong things) than to be oblivious and get myself into awkward situations (and believe me, I've been in a few).

All of my Asperger's traits tend to manifest themselves more when I'm around my family. There's something about them that makes me regress. I have gotten a lot better about a lot of things over the years with a lot of work, but it all seems to vanish when my family is present.

Eye Contact--I don't do well with most eye contact, I do a little with close family members/close friends.

Meltdowns--I've had a handful I think, but none recently. Every time I had one I was also having problems with hormones and such so I think that was a contributor too.

Rudeness--I don't see myself as a rude person, but I am often perceived as rude.

Walking issue--I guess you mean awkward gait? I have a bit of an awkward gait but not really. When I was younger I did stuff like watched myself walk in the mirror and I've worked a lot on balance, so it isn't really that awkward.

Show emotion differently--Yeah. I think that's a central aspie thing.

Special Interest--I get very very interested in stuff, but I'm not sure if they qualify as special interests. Mostly because I move from one thing to another so fast.

My eye contact is horrible-I have balance issues-I do have meltdowns/shutdowns-I have been told I am rude-I am a very literal thinker and you cannot joke with me being the but of the joke-I am very time sensitive and hate any change that happens.

Eye contact - this is okay. I don't find making eye contact as uncomfortable as a lot of people here, but most people can probably tell that my eye contact is a bit 'off'

Meltdowns - I don't have these anymore. I tend to shut down and withdraw myself if I'm feeling overwhelmed, or my social batteries have just run out.

Rudeness - I do seem to piss people off a lot, it's true. Sometimes I'm unaware that my behaviour is too blunt/abrasive/generally rude until after the situation, when I've had time to reflect on it.

Walking issue - not sure. I don't feel like I'm totally in control of my body and probably have dyspraxia.

Showing emotion - soemtimes I'm completely oblivious when someone's upset, angry or tired. Likewise, I don't always express emotions in a conventional way, so other people find me hard to read. I have difficulty getting my thoughts down into words, and don't really confide in many people, although a surprising amount of people have correctly guessed that I've been depressed for a while.

Special interests - I don't have obsessive interests anymore, but I can still spend a long time on a single project that would bore most people to death.

I must be a poster child and I was definatly as a kid before I learned how to "fake" things. Some phycitraits think I have "outgrown" my autism and that my diagnosis needs to be changed. I still have triats but I've just had lots of practice in hiding them for 23 years. I still have meltdowns and I will ALWAYS obses over my special intrests and won't care what others think. I am lucky to have finnaly found a true best friend. Sure she is eight years younger but why do friendships always have to be age based? Last I checked there is no such thing as the friendship police although some people act as if there is. My best friend is sixteen and eventhough I am 23 physicaly, I think am 16 mentaly. My best friend will let me go on and on about meerkats and my special intrets and never complains. The "experts" can go jump in a lake.

Sure I may appear to be making eye contact but I am really looking at the space between someone's eyes or at their nose. Eye contact dosen't bother me if I am wearing mirrored sunglasses or if they are. I always found eye contact as a threat and never made it with others as a child unless I was trying to itimate them. Humans are the only species that does not find eye contact threatning. Even our supposed "closest relatives", chimpanzees don't typically like contact.

Empathy has always been a difficult area for me but as an adult I have learned to fake sympathy, in reality I do not give a damb about the plights of others. Small talk I just pretend to be intrested in what the other person is talking about. I guess I am just a good actress.

Meltdowns = If I have had them, it hasn't been since I was a kid.

Eye Contact = I notice that when talking to people outside my family, I tend to speak away from them. I can do direct eye-contact, but I really dislike doing it for too long unless it's with someone I feel comfortable with.

Rudeness = It has happened, though not very often.

Walking Issues= I have been told in the past that I walk like a zombie. My posture's a lot better now but I do tend to walk with my head facing the ground.

Perceived Emotions= I generally don't express emotion unless I'm really invested in something or someone.

Special Interests = In spades, though I haven't monologued in quite some time.

Routines= I really hate change, but I can do it.

Generally, my traits are more apparent around my family than with outsiders.

Meltdowns: Last one I had was February 1991 - don't remember very many of them just that I was told I had a lot of them and they could get quite intense.

Eye Contact: Never occurred to me to make eye contact until I was 10 with people when I was told specifically that's what I was suppose to do. I would always look at people, but not *at* them per say. After I started doing that, I was told to stop because my eye contact was unnerving to people.

Rudeness: I've had people in tears in the past due to my rudeness with them, much to my surprise as I never thought I was being rude.

Walking Issues: Mom told me that until I was about three I had an "odd gait" in my walk. I was never very agile or a fast runner and I was constantly spraining my ankles due to my complete absence of muscle tone which has caused me other problems as well. When I was in high school, a class mate who was friendly to me informed me that she could always tell it was me walking even at distance because I always looked down when I walked.

Emotions: I can sense emotions if their plain as day, subtle ones I have a harder time with. I feel emotions but often express them inappropriately.

Special Interests: A revolving cast of characters - they come and go, but always tend to be the same things

Stims: I'm Rocker and I have always been fascinated with things that spin, especially the old 16mm film projectors in school when they would rewind the film and the washing machine at home since I could jam a screw driver in the safety switch on the door and watch it spin with the lid up. I had a constant need to fidget with things. I stare at bright lights and I can listen to the same song for hours on end,

Routines: At work everyday is different so a lack thereof doesn't bother me, but at home I'm very set in my ways. If something happens that breaks a routine, I feel out of place and distressed until I can get my routine back, but If I'm out of the house, say visiting my parents, then that doesn't bother me that I can't keep my routine. Mom once said as a kid I was a slave to a routine.

I'm still not quite sure how to classify a meltdown. I think I may have had them before.

A lot of traits I had, I kind of repaired, so no one sees them in action anymore. They do sometimes.

Meltdowns: I had these up through college, but I've learned how not to have them anymore. It really is embarrassing to do in public.

Eye contact: I don't really recall people telling me I had a problem with this. Only a few times as a kid. I feel like I stare at people though. I don't know when to look away naturally so I just wait for them to.

Rudeness: I wouldn't call it rudeness, but blunt honesty. And yes I do this almost daily! Just today I was at work and one of the staff came looking for me. I was in the toilet. When she found me I told her "Oh, I had to pee!"

Special interests: Much more intense when I was a kid. I still have special interests but I feel like they aren't as consuming as they used to be.

Perceived emotions: I can read people well but I don't react properly. For example, if someone cries in front of me I usually just stand there with my arms crossed and ask if he/she needs a tissue. I also have inappropriate responses such as sobbing for 3 days when my cat died but feeling nothing but discomfort when my grandmother died.

Walking Issue: I walk like a duck with my feet pointed outwards.

Stims: Small ones. I usually rub the ring on my finger up and down, or flap my fingers against my palm. And I rock my leg back and forth whenever I have to wait in line.

Routine: I get upset and anxious if I have to change my routine. I only like to sleep in my own bed (unless on vacation). I use the same bowl, plate and glass daily (MY BOWL, PLATE AND CUP). I eat the same foods daily.

I did this when I was about 19 but they all came back at about 23. I *suffered* a pretty traumatic experience at 22 but the traits probably would have come back then, anyway. I'm really not sure. I think I probably would have started to have issues with anxiety around that time even f that hadn't happened, the women in my family seem to get anxious around that age, and my anxiety definitely brought all those traits back out.

I do think that's possible, though. I just did a lot of mental processing and "reprogramming", people can do this throughout their lives to get over a lot of their issues without therapy. IMO. Of course, with AS the brain is wired differently so it's something you'd have to work on throughout life, any kind of major anxiety, or even not so major anxiety or unwanted life change can put an Aspie back at square one, this has been my experience, anyway. I'm not entirely sure what's *wrong* with me but I am reasonably good at fixing it when I have my wits about me.