Leaving Home

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I have a young Aspie friend - young as in I’m in my late 50s and she’s in her late 20s - who sometimes uses me as a sounding board
She was diagnosed in her mid teens, did well at school, is musical, articulate, and a university graduate.
During all of that she has been living with her parents and younger siblings, but lately she has been talking about leaving home and living either alone or with other people.
Based on my own experience, I think she needs to reset the relationship with her family; to discover what she’s capable of without their immediate physical and emotional support, and in doing so get them to let go of some of the ‘responsibility’ they feel for her.
We’ve talked about her living alone, sharing with other Aspies, living with NTs or possibly having her own space near, but not physically attached to, the family home.

I’d appreciate any experiences you have to share.

All in all, living alone was a great improvement for me. I benefit from solitude and the ability to control my own space. However, I did have to learn some important skills the hard way--paying bills, keeping myself fed, keeping the place reasonably clean.

Perhaps, as a stepping-stone, she might be able to move to a place within walking distance of her parents' house. That way, if things got too bad, she could go home, or her parents could come to her, without much difficulty. After she's secure doing that, she could move further out. This is assuming her parents don't mind helping her without smothering, and will not be the sort of people to try to keep her dependent.

I think she should also make a checklist of all the skills she needs, and be sure that she has them. Once she's got a complete checklist, any oversights should probably be minor problems that she can learn quickly.

All excellent ideas. I have no actual experience in this area, but if she were my daughter, I would be happiest with her having her own space near the family home as the first move towards independence.

I always want to give that a shot too, it's just hard when parents don't give you a chance to live alone besides staying home by yourself without being able to operate the stove. Duh- am I going to eat microwave rice and processed food the rest of my life?

I wish I knew what I was capable off without Mom and dad on my side, but they're keeping me dependent, almost as if they just want to control me. It's going to get harder for me to learn how to become independent if I don't get out soon.

I'd jet on out and just take it one day at a time, but I don't have a job, except for my self-published novel selling under the pen name Bettie Mills. I know I'll need at least a few gran (thousand) before I'm able to get that credit card and split.
Maybe I should start that home-video creation or walk dogs for people
Or just get out of the house even when I'm the only one there.It's not like I'm going to be in my house all the time as an adult- well, msot of the time, as I am a writer- but I'll have to go shopping for clothes and thigns liike that.

Maybe I'll try to walk to the bowling alley. They have lotteries there (I KNOW IT"S RARE< BUT IT
(SORRY FOR MISTAKES< DON"T HAVE Time TO Correct)

I wasn't getting what I needed at home, so I left ASAP. It was gnarly, but educational. I don't think I did more damage than many of my peers, overall. A lot of people I know, including what remains of my family, take the attitude that the difference between friends and family is that you can choose your friends. YMMV.