Spazzergasm wrote:
Saying this, or having it said to me, always carries a certain discomfort for me. Do you guys feel the same way?
I've just noticed, unless it's said while laughing, or in an otherwise non-serious manner, it makes me uncomfortable. Even saying it or having it said from my parents.
It's not like I don't love people. And I do try and tell them. But it's not very regularly, and I can't remember the last time I said it to a family member.
I worry for example, with my friends, I don't say it enough, because sometimes we'll say it to each other, say on the phone, and then another time, we won't. Do you think they're noticing this?
And then the terribleness of when someone you don't love casually says they love you...Then you have to lie and say you love them too....
Does this sentence make anyone else uncomfortable? Am I being weird? Is it normal for an NT, or an aspie thing?
I can't really tell my feelings to other people especially since I need to analyze them before actually understand how they work and what they mean, thus I almost never say I love someone. When I do, it doesn't feel right, it's strange, perhaps that's because words can't really tell the complexity of feelings and emotions.
Most people lie about their feelings, I can never tell if their declarations are genuine or not, I think the bond one create with others are mostly made of lies and illusion thus I try to be sincere with them and either don't tell them anything about the lack of reciprocity (though I suspect most of them don't care about me the way they claim they do) or to be sincere.
When I love someone, be it a friend or a family member, I tend to tell it to someone else because it feels less wrong and I'm no longer afraid of the liar I might be facing.
Just like hale_bopp, I have no troubles saying it to my cat though. But people think that I act like someone who's been educated by cats so...
"I love you" is an important sentence. It has a strong emotional meaning and I don't like that many people lie when using it. It also fails at saying what is truly inside people's mind, they're just three little words that don't explain anything about the nature of the feelings and their origins. Language fails at describing emotions and covers many different feelings with the same word, which is also why it looses its value. It's just like the word "friend" which is being used by everyone to talk about someone they barely know (and it's a word I also only uses when I'm sure I feel that someone is truly my friend thought I don't know if they reciprocate the feelings because of the way people uses words).
I guess the false declaration may make people who truly mean what they say uncomfortable with some words. I don't really know why I feel that way or why other people feel that way, I've never been good at telling my feelings, but being betrayed by liars definitely makes it worse.