I think 'manipulation' is an 'issue' many Aspies/Auties encounter. Not just in terms of worrying it'll be applied to them, but also in terms of worrying that one is BEING manipulative. The potential of manipulating others upsets our 'ethics'. I believe it to be a possibility that such 'ethics' could be based on the (potentially erroneous) idea that, if/since we're not 'honestly' experiencing an emotion that'd be considered 'relevant' to the current situation, then we're being 'manipulative'. By attempting to apply/insert a demonstration of an emotion we 'think' we're not 'feeling, we judge ourselves to be hypocrites in some way. - We also often tend to think of the others involved in the conversation/interaction as 'genuinely' feeling the emotions they've been presenting (a comparison that makes us feel even worse about ourselves). This leads to us mentally declaring ourselves as 'fakes'. My 'suspicion' (really, not the word I want here...) is that I've 'failed' in the past to recognize my emotional output for what it truly is. I've 'misidentified' my anger, for example. Telling myself I wasn't really angry - BECAUSE I'D IDENTIFIED SIGNS OF ANGER VIA WHAT I'D CONSIDERED NEUROTYPICAL SIGNS OF ANGER. If/when I shift my paradigms (and other mechanisms) to help me identify anger IN MYSELF, I become able to see that, yes, I am actually experiencing that particular emotion and, yes, it is manifested in ways different from those around me (I'm too-often surrounded by those who are unlike me...).
It's like the recent medical realization that males suffer depression in far greater numbers than previously believed. Now that 'experts' have stopped looking for signs ('symptomology') of depression in males USING THE 'FORMAT' APPLIED TO FEMALES, it's been realized just how many males have suffered great distress from neglect caused by 'mis-identification'.
Seeing that I am having 'genuine' feelings (even if the process of my experiencing them - and presenting them to others is 'different') contributes towards 'validating' my rights/privileges during interactions with others. I'm not 'dismiss-able' from those interactions based on any (unjustified/unjustifiable) accusations (even self-made accusations) of 'manipulation'.
Whattya think?
_________________
It's your Dae today