how do you experience the world/ your existence?

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This is the new version of a prototype poll I started here a while ago, which I believe was poorly worded and presented, so here is my second attempt.

Please select the best choice for how you experience the world/ your existence.

I just can't seem to be able to answer many of these polls with any sort of accuracy. I view the world from a strange perspective, and most people I am close to know nothing about it. I feel that the world is real. I feel that my existence is real. The way I see the world, however, is much different.

I feel emotionally connected to stationary objects. I feel emotionally connected to the environment around me. Unless someone experiences such a sensation, it is very hard to even fathom. It's not delusional, nor does it involve hallucinations. It's a strange perception of applying emotional connections to the shapes of specific objects that I look at. This emotional connection strengthens under stress. It goes deeper than that. This environmental emotional connection is relatively shallow, but it transfers to my own personal interests, which becomes much more deeper. I grow an emotional connection with a specific interest, usually specific subject matter, that changes from time to time, so much so that it becomes a close friend and companion. It's even affected me sexually.

- Ray M -

I am the main character in a TV show only I watch. And honestly i must say that it is poorly directed and they could have picked better actors.

I personally liked The Critic(Animated TV series) better.

I am the AS protagonist in a postmodern rewrite of the novel Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte.

"Reader, why can I never please? Why is it useless to try to win anyone's favour? NTs, who are by their nature shallow and selfish, are respected. NTs with spoiled tempers, a very acrid spite, a captious and insolent carriage, are universally indulged. Their social skills seemed to purchase indemnity for their every fault. I dare commit no fault; I strive to fulfill every duty; and I am termed wierd and intense, boring, compulsive, and I am often considered stupid. I am rejected from morning to noon, and from noon to night. Oh reader, what shall I do?"

Well, I actually find it very comforting to narrate myself to myself like that.

Now that I see it in print I see that the narration that goes on in my head seems a bit self pitying and bitter.

I am on the inside, looking out.

And, damn, there is a lot of weird stuff out there.

Most of the time I tend to experience the world as a spectator, especially when it comes to other people. I'm watching the world go by with great interest, but I have little interest in actually interacting with the people and things in it. It takes conscious effort to pull myself out of that frame of mind. As for the poll options, I guess you could say it's kind of a feeling of disconnectedness.

I feel connected, sometimes very deeply connected, to The World in general. I've been happiest when hiking through some remote spots, no other people and a landscape that to me is spectacular, yet others say is bleak.

However, I struggle to feel connected with the mass of people on the planet. Occasionally, invariably with small groups of people that are also perhaps slight 'misfits', I have felt pleasantly connected to other human beings, too. I guess that this is what most people feel most of the time when they're losing themselves in the mass of humanity. I feel at my loneliest when in a crowd.

How I experience myself is a very difficult question to answer. I've noticed how disconnected from my own body I feel most of the time. It just respond how I'd like too, lets me down just when I need it etc etc. It's the only one I have, so I should treat it better!

Anandamide - you're postmodern Jane Eyre is excellent - the content is quite serious, yet the way it's written brought a smile to my face! I have a similar dialog that goes on too, although nowhere near so literate.

Wow. I narrate my story to myself as well. Although, I think mine sounds a bit more, erm, heroic usually. (Who me, dramatic?) It's nice to know that I'm not the only one who feels like I'm living in the story of my life.

Now, I can so easily relate to that. I usually find myself in some national park at least once a year, and I find myself taking walks nearby the hotels where I stay. One time, I was gone quite a while by myself, and my parents were worried about what I would do if I saw a bear. Gee! Animals won't bother you, unless you bother them. Besides, making noise tends to keep bears at bay. And it wasn't the time of year when cubs were around.

Crowds annoy me. They disorient me. It's not the music in the stories. I don't have those types of sensory problems, but when there's noise with a strong crowd, it gets worse. It's the mass of people that disorient me. I get strange emotional experiences. I sometimes find myself losing my sense of position, even. Yet, I can put up with it if I need to and act quite normally. I like to go to restaurants once and a while, for example.

I have a college graduation ceremony I'm going to be going to this weekend. The idea of a heavily crowded place with a lot of loud noise is making me sort of very uncomfortable.

- Ray M -

I view the world from the viewpoint of an outsider. I feels like I'm looking at the world through a glass. I am watching all the people participating in and enjoying life but I am left out of it. Whenever I try to join in and participate with everyone else, I get this hostile "We don't want your kind around here" vibes from the people. The people chase me back over to my side of the glass where I am only allowed to watch and observe but not allowed to participate.

I think that's a great way to put it! I often feel like I'm on one of those shows where the ending is done live and the audience gets to call in and vote for the ending they want to see. By that, I mean that the world is often surreal but I get to participate and decide how things will unfold. Sometimes when I'm making an important decision I approach it dispassionately as if to say "what would I do if I was in that position?", ignoring the fact that I *AM* in that position. It's just weird. Most of the time I make good decisions but then the rewards are even more surreal.

I'm typing this in an internet cafe 12,500km from my home. It doesn't get much less real than that...

I remember feeling "unreal" as a child. I would try to talk to my family about it and they would look at me as if I was mental
These days it's more of a feeling disconnected from my body generally. It comes and goes..

I have had strong and unremitting feelings of unreality since I was a child and the feelings set in permanentlywhen I was 12. The feeling would be so strong, sometimes, that I felt like I was going crazy. When I was a teenager I diagnosed myself with Depersonalization Disorder. Yet when I joined WP last year I was surprised to see a thread about feelings of depersonalization and I started a poll (which I realized I worded poorly) and 90% of the respondants said they had feelings of depersonalization. This poll is showing 70%, which I find astonishing. I wonder if the possible link between autism and depersonalization has ever been investigated? As far as I know, the only studies that have been done about depersonalization are about drug use and DP.

I don't feel that my existance or world isn't real, but I often feel like my body isn't always mine. I don't hear voices, but I argue with myself so much that it sometimes feel with I and my head are two separate entities.

I feel strongly alienated from the world around me, the people around me. I see people talking, laughing, kissing, playing, working, and all that but I can't take part. The motivations that bring people together and cause them to respond to situations the way they do seem foreign to me, and the complexity of this confuses me. I see the world as fundamentally absurd, somewhat as Jean-Paul Sartre does as an existential philosopher and writer.

I experience the world from the inside looking out, as though I were a being within another being which I was controlling.