Favouritism....?

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Something that always bothered me, is how people will favourite a particular pet, a sibling, a child etc. Even in my family I'm the only one who has never practised favouritsim with any of our pets. I loved all my cats and dog equally. I find favouritism unfathomable. What's your view?

I don't like favoritism either. I try not to do it, although I might be doing it in my subconscious.

Having a favourite child, sibling, pet is logically no different than having a preference for a particular beverage, band, item of clothing, etc. I believe we are all drawn to those people and things that we feel most attuned to, or which give us most pleasure. Surely that is favouritism?

I think there is a difference. I find it easy to favour inanimate objects, i.e. food, books, etc. I guess I'm referring to favouritism of people and pets - where a bond has usually taken place. I have 'bonded' with all my pets...some more than others but I don't favour the ones I have bonded with more, part of it is because it almost hurts to choose one as a favourite ...if that makes sense?

You feel that favoring one is cruel to the others?

I'm sure it makes sense to you, but it doesn't fit into my way of thinking. I don't see 'favouring' in this sense as a deliberate choice, merely a side-effect.

Are you suggesting you have a moral objection to your own favouritism or am I missing the point entirely?

For me, the thought of favouring one is, indeed, cruel to the others. I know from experience, as my brother is my parent's "favourite". They may not openly say it, but when it comes to honesty (even when he blatantly lies), they believe him over myself. Always. When anyone says anything bad about my brother, parents deny it. They haven't the slightest idea what he's like or, if they do, they deny it. This has made him so arrogant that he feels he has the superiority to walk all over me and do whatever he wants. He may not take action in most cases, due to fear that parents will see, but he'll most certainly express it to me verbally.

The worst part is, whenever in our parent's room (due to the only other computer other than my own being in there), he commands me to get out or threatens to "grass me up" for annoying him... Despite the fact that I'm not saying anything, not touching anything, merely looking at what he's doing - I'm apparently "annoying" him... No doubt, if I say against leaving, he'll "grass me up" and I'll end up in trouble. However, he can enter my room and all-what-not, annoying me, and I can't do a damned thing about it other than put up with him...

If my parents get it wrong, and/or my brother admits to "lying", they shrug it off as if nothing had ever happened.

That, in my eyes, is Favouritism at it's worst.

Gee, Wally - the world's no fair!

I would say I show favouritism on a broad scale.... I prefer science to religion. I prefer nature to the city. I prefer unusual to common.
But I doubt that this is what you're talking about. Picking a favourite song, choosing a favourite person or pet.... I don't think I'm capable. Whichever cat is sitting on my lap at a given moment might be my favourite at that moment, unless I don't really want him on my lap, then the other one is more likely my favourite.

Maybe people are too important to pick favourites... maybe they aren't important enough to spend the time to pick the favourite. Either way, it's more like a black and white thing to me... I either care about the person, or I don't care about the person. There isn't much of an inbetween with me on the issue. Well, I can dislike too, I guess anti-care about them. So maybe indifference is the inbetween state. There might be a million shades of indifference, either tempered more with concern or dislike, but to me.. they are all the same.... Not important enough to concern me to the point where I choose to care for their well being, or wish for their destruction.

This makes complete sense to me. I have two sisters. One is very similar to me and we understand each other, and like each other, and see the world in quite a similar way. The other is very different from me and tends to look down on me - she sees herself as superior and sees me as weird and embarrassing. Naturally I prefer the sister who likes me and whom I understand!

I also have a favourite parent. I have a mother who was very abusive to me when I was growing up, and who constantly criticises and whines. I have a father who isn't perfect, but wants the best for me and tries to help me. Naturally I prefer my father.

I think this has nothing to do with being on the autistic spectrum. It's human nature to favour people who treat you well and shun those who treat you badly.

I don't have children. If I did, I would treat them fairly, but I'm sure I'd have a different relationship with each of them, because people are all different. If I had an aspie child and an NT child, I'd probably relate better to the aspie child.

When my grandparents were alive, I had a favourite grandparent - and it was the one who was very similar to me (and would doubtless have been diagnosed Aspergers if he'd been born in this generation). I loved all my grandparents, but he was the one I understood and felt close to, and it made me smile to see him.

I like one of my cats better than the other one, because one uses my bed as a toilet if he gets the chance, and the other one doesn't. So obviously I prefer the one that doesn't. Her name is Maude

My mum used to be my favourite parent, and now the spotlight is starting to shine, on my dad.

You're missing the point. I said part of it feels cruel. The other part is that I love them equally (don't have kids or more than one sibling so using pets again) and I can't fathom how one could choose a favourite over the others. I'm not that good at explaining but there you go. Anyway I see most people practice favouritism here. Which is disturbing but oh well.

I cannot stand favoritism... I think we should be treated equal.

I definitely had a favourite parent - my father - because he was nice to me and my mother was nearly always nasty. Of course I was supposed to love them equally, but I couldn't. Like any other emotion, love comes to you unbidden.

I don't see any reason why I couldn't rank the people I know according to how much I like them, but it would get pretty meaningless unless there was a huge difference between the way they behaved with me......mostly I gravitate towards the people I feel I can trust the most, and that can change with experience. One time somebody will turn up and I'll think "oh, no!" - another time I might be really glad to see them. Nonetheless, at the extremes there are some who I'd always feel honoured to see, and others who I just don't want near me.

With girlfriends though, I've always quickly found a favourite and lost interest in the rest. It's possible that's changing now, but in the past it's been very noticeable. But that may have more to do with monogamy rules........sometimes if you won't make a choice, you annoy all of them.

The behaviour of a parent makes a big difference, a lot of the time. If you're nice, than people are going to be nice, to you.