I thought I didn't stim, but maybe I do

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kayef
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16 Aug 2010, 7:56 pm

Ok. So reading WP and someone made a post last year about listening to the same song or parts of a song repeatedly. I do that. I have always done that. It is usually when I am stressed or depressed. And I choreograph dances in my head to the song or part of the song and keep repeating the track until I am satisfied with the choreography. So I'll spend hours listening and daydreaming about dancing to the same song. Is that weird? I know it's weird. I don't need to ask.

I also have a DVD collection of movies that I can and do watch over and over again without getting bored. For the past two days I have been struggling with wanting to watch Zombieland for the 5th time since I bought it not too long ago. I keep telling myself its not normal to watch the same movie repeatedly but I do want to watch it... and I'm... putting it in... right now...



CockneyRebel
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16 Aug 2010, 8:01 pm

I listen to the same songs, over again on youtube, 4 times in a row, on the days, that I feel the most autistic. I also drum, when I'm waiting for my ride to work.


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Jessi_in_wonderland
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16 Aug 2010, 8:14 pm

yes, it's stimming, and I do that too. With the favorite songs.I don't watch many movies on a regular basis but I rewatch the ones I like. I also pace while I listen to my mp3, I do this several times each day and in car/bus rides. I notice I do it when I'm really happy, anxious, and sad.



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16 Aug 2010, 8:31 pm

Yes, it could be stimming due to ASD or it could be a symptom of OCD. I think it's hard to separate the causes since both can serve to reduce anxiety.

I developed a "relationship" with the Wizard of Oz when I was a kid where I watched it about 700 times. That didn't seem like it was due to OCD because in doing it, it was like I was looking for something, not trying to prevent bad things from happening. I guess it depends on why you do a repetitive action like that. As you read more about stimming you may be surprised to find that you have more than you realized. It turned out that actions I thought were totally normal were stims and after I learned about them I became very self conscious. I also noticed someone doing one that I do and I was stunned because I finally saw how others must see me. No wonder I have no friends.



just-lou
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16 Aug 2010, 8:42 pm

Yep, I'll do this too. Often the same song, over and over, on repeat. Drives other people nuts, but I figure I'm getting something from it, so keep listening.



Celoneth
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16 Aug 2010, 9:23 pm

I do this way too much - books, music, movies, games etc. - if one clicks, I just want to repeat it over and over... and over.



adifferentname
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16 Aug 2010, 9:55 pm

kayef wrote:
Ok. So reading WP and someone made a post last year about listening to the same song or parts of a song repeatedly. I do that. I have always done that. It is usually when I am stressed or depressed. And I choreograph dances in my head to the song or part of the song and keep repeating the track until I am satisfied with the choreography. So I'll spend hours listening and daydreaming about dancing to the same song. Is that weird? I know it's weird. I don't need to ask.

I also have a DVD collection of movies that I can and do watch over and over again without getting bored. For the past two days I have been struggling with wanting to watch Zombieland for the 5th time since I bought it not too long ago. I keep telling myself its not normal to watch the same movie repeatedly but I do want to watch it... and I'm... putting it in... right now...


Sometimes it can take months for a song or album to lose its hold on me. A part of me just instinctively knows that I need it to function, and so I listen, and I listen, and I listen...

Do you ever experience involuntary movements when listening to music?



RaquiGirl
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16 Aug 2010, 9:58 pm

I do that all the time. It's different ones at different times, but when I'm feeling particularly stressed on the train to work, I will set one song on repeat and blast it into my ears to drown out the other noise on the train because it's too much and always overwhelms me... the roar of the train, the loudspeaker, the doors, the people... ugh.

I didn't think I really stimmed either, but when I learned what it was, I found myself doing lots of stim behavior.

happymusic wrote:
No wonder I have no friends.


OMG, this made me laugh because I can totally relate. It's really horrifying to become self-aware about things like this, isn't it?


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just-lou
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17 Aug 2010, 7:59 am

Quote:
It's really horrifying to become self-aware about things like this, isn't it?


Hah, isn't self-awareness always horrifying?



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17 Aug 2010, 8:34 am

just-lou wrote:

Hah, isn't self-awareness always horrifying?


I try not to use words like always or never and I can think of one or two times where it was merely interesting, although I cannot think of a time when it was ever pleasant... good point. ;)


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kayef
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17 Aug 2010, 8:56 am

adifferentname wrote:
Do you ever experience involuntary movements when listening to music?


I don't know. Maybe. This is all so new. I don't walk on my toes, rock, and flap hands so I thought I did not exhibit this behavior. I do pace in circles. I also do something else... I should not even admit this...Oh well.

I like to look at disgusting things. I'll seek out the grossest, sickest skin rash, ear wax impaction, sinus fungus, genital warts, oozing and necrotic wound, and ingrown hairs, keloids (you get the picture) because I need to feel more "awake". I have been doing this a lot recently since I am on a break from my classes. I do it in smaller doses when busier. I am a nursing student so the behavior may not be so odd because I need to get used to seeing these things so I don't vomit or faint when I see them up close. Stimming?



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17 Aug 2010, 9:19 am

kayef wrote:
adifferentname wrote:
Do you ever experience involuntary movements when listening to music?


I don't know. Maybe. This is all so new. I don't walk on my toes, rock, and flap hands so I thought I did not exhibit this behavior. I do pace in circles. I also do something else... I should not even admit this...Oh well.

I like to look at disgusting things. I'll seek out the grossest, sickest skin rash, ear wax impaction, sinus fungus, genital warts, oozing and necrotic wound, and ingrown hairs, keloids (you get the picture) because I need to feel more "awake". I have been doing this a lot recently since I am on a break from my classes. I do it in smaller doses when busier. I am a nursing student so the behavior may not be so odd because I need to get used to seeing these things so I don't vomit or faint when I see them up close. Stimming?


Possibly, though I think it might be more akin to an obsession. I know of (as far as I'm aware) NT people who find 'disgusting' things fascinating in the same manner as yourself.

It is definitely more usual for stimming to exhibit as repetitive movements. Some days I am in almost constant motion; rocking my legs, tapping on surfaces, nodding or shaking my head, adopting strange facial expressions. Often I become aware of my behaviour and consciously choose to stop what I'm doing, but only until my attention passes back to whatever I am doing.

When I listen to music this can become very extreme, especially with my head movements. I am not sure that what you are experiencing could be called stimming, but I believe you should seek an expert opinion over my layman's interpretation.



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17 Aug 2010, 10:17 am

I still wouldn't call it a trait of Aspies, since I know a few NTs (And they're really NT) that do the same thing. With pop songs.

I do this occasionally, but I'm an album listener rather than a song listener... so I'll repeat the album.



adifferentname
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17 Aug 2010, 10:42 am

Dnuos wrote:
I still wouldn't call it a trait of Aspies, since I know a few NTs (And they're really NT) that do the same thing. With pop songs.

I do this occasionally, but I'm an album listener rather than a song listener... so I'll repeat the album.


I'm a little of both, but I understand your meaning. Some albums make more 'sense' when played in their entirety. When I hear a song played on the radio from such an album it can be really hard to resist the urge to go and immediately listen to the next track because it is 'missing' along with the rest of the album.



SmellHole
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17 Aug 2010, 11:21 am

I do both, but mostly with music. If I find a new song I really like I'll play it over and over and over, or in a small playlist with other favorites.


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ksuther09
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17 Aug 2010, 11:28 am

kayef wrote:

I like to look at disgusting things. I'll seek out the grossest, sickest skin rash, ear wax impaction, sinus fungus, genital warts, oozing and necrotic wound, and ingrown hairs, keloids (you get the picture) because I need to feel more "awake". I have been doing this a lot recently since I am on a break from my classes. I do it in smaller doses when busier. I am a nursing student so the behavior may not be so odd because I need to get used to seeing these things so I don't vomit or faint when I see them up close. Stimming?


haha, I had to laugh really hard at that because I was premed in undergrad! Congrats on nursing school though :) Yeah, I think it's a fixation since I fixated on CF for the longest time after Mom told me about a NICU patient that had it. That's good you're desenstizing yourself though because I worked in a hospital after undergrad & stuff still grossed me out there haha! Just remember that there are actual patients behind all the grossness!