While I was at my parents' this weekend, my mom was telling me some of her frustrations with dealing with her mother. It made me wonder about genetic links to the autistic spectrum. Then again, maybe she's just being a typical stubborn old lady.
She's lives roughly 3 hours away from either of her daughters. She's lived alone, in a trailer, on a fairly large piece of land, since the 70's. The trailer is way past the age that it should still be lived in. She likes to keep it fixed up in her own way, and won't move.
She won't drive long distances, so whenever she visits, either my mom or my aunt picks her up. She acts like it's such a big deal to visit, and they have to play it right, or else she'll refuse. I don't really understand why it's so hard to get her out of her own lonely environment. She loves the company (though I suspect she fears over-stimulation around my cousin's children), but she really has nothing to worry about, or anything of value at her place. Yet she does worry tremendously about her place, or at least, those are excuses that she comes up with. From my perspective, she really has no good excuse to refuse a visit.
My mom was telling me about a scenario this past week where my grandma was worried because she scheduled a haircut in the middle of the day, when it would be hot. She didn't want to go when it was hot, but she was worried that canceling the appointment would be some huge deal, and my mom really had to convince her to call and reschedule. Related to the same situation, she wouldn't schedule a doctor's appointment until after the haircut. In other words, she wants only one appointment to exist at a time.
Speaking of doctors, she hates going to the doctor and taking medicine, despite the fact that she used to be a nurse.
She doesn't have air conditioning, and despite years of trying to get her to move to a new place, she won't do it. She complains about not sleeping, especially in the summer, when it's hot. Apparently she barely sleeps about every other night.
She doesn't seem to understand anything modern, or much humor.
Something I've always found interesting is that she burps all the time with no comment or apology. I've always had a hard time stopping myself from drawing my mom's attention to it, because she gets on my case for that too, and I wish she'd make an exception for me because her own mother does it! While I personally feel burping shouldn't be considered rude, it's interesting that a delicate little old lady wouldn't even think about it. An example of being unaware of social standards?
She acts like she doesn't deserve things, and won't improve her situation, despite being very alone. I'm not sure if many of these traits could be autistic in nature, or if she's just being a typical stubborn old lady. I feel I don't have much in common with her, even among these traits... I feel I exhibit different autistic traits. But even still, it would be interesting to see some potential hereditary links, if I do have AS or something else on the spectrum.
16 Aug 2010, 9:51 am
