Were you offended when you were diagnosed with Asperger?

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Were you offended when you were diagnosed with Asperger or Autism?

Many years ago I had a mindset due to a forced religious education that God only made perfect children (in a way) and it was, for me, a long struggle to accept that perhaps a part of my brain/mind worked differently or imperfectly. Also, there was a factor where my parents, one of whom was a nurse, felt that it was best to ignore what I had and never to label it so there was zero early intervention at all in my life.

I also had the same kind of difficulty with trying a medicine since, at one time, I tended to view that all medicines were evil (almost including aspirin). I changed my thinking after I responded positively to a medicine for ADHD Inattentive and it became very clear to me that the medicine actually worked a little for me (not a cure).

However, at one time, my initial feelings of any diagnosis were quite offensive to me. That even included possibilities of petit mal/absence. I was quite offended at the realization that I may be slightly damaged goods/whatever in a way.

My lifelong experience was pretty close to the response that any teachers or coaches who noticed something a little different about me would tend to ignore it completely or use a standard line like you might consider practicing a little more. None of the teachers or coaches I met ever said anything like you might have mild dyspraxia or ADHD Inattentive and then explain what mild dyspraxia or ADHD Inattentive is.

Some of these teachers had Ph.D.s in various fields including chemistry and psychology.

Today, have accepted what I have since today it is the best answer/the right answer for me.

Experiences?

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Words

Early Intervention

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Slipping Through The Cracks of The System

For myself I did not like the idea that I had suddenly beome a 'disabled woman'.

I find it hard to accept that I am disabled and have difficulty accepting help such as DLA or disability help at university. I would not feel good about haveing the help offered for my studies and would feel it was cheating.

I think this is rooted in perfectionism.

Worse than my experience, I took my daughter for an asperger assessment and the psychologist told me she did not have aspergers, but autism. I said "oh I thought it might be HFA", and the psychologist replied "no not HFA, LFA". She said she thought she had autism with mild learning difficulties and low mental age. I was extremely taken aback to say the least and it took me a long time to deal with it. I still dont accept the diagnosis in my heart and often look at her and think she cant have. It was good for me though as it stopped me pushing her so hard academically and stopped me getting frustrated with her being on 3-5year old maths when she was 10. We found out about a year ago that she also has PDA, I did not feel bad about that, but just felt it explained a lot of things.

Now I try to let go of all our diagnosis and view my family as people with their own quirks and difficulties without getting down about it being aspergers or autism. Other times I feel so guilty for passing my genes on, and guilty for handeling things badly and bad about being incompetant in so many ways.

I was a little offended, when I first found out that I was on the spectrum. I was 15 at the time, and I just saw the movie, Rain Man. I was fighting to have equal rights as my sister, for a year after that.

Intrigued, mostly.

I had heard of autism and Asperger's before, and had thought to myself that I was awfully close to Asperger's; having mentioned Asperger's to my mother, who works with autistic children, and been told that she knew I should have been diagnosed as a child but did not want me labeled, I was very suspicious already that I might be autistic.

When my suspicions were confirmed (I was diagnosed by someone with an autistic son), I was more interested than anything else, because it seemed like autism was something that I could learn more about, and learn more about myself. After a while I realized there were all these useful strategies that could work for autism--and, even better, didn't involve submitting to the ingestion of lots of pills--I was quite happy to have the Asperger's diagnosis.

But I'll admit that it might have been different if I had never been diagnosed with anything before. Before Asperger's, they diagnosed me with a lot of different things, none of which fit particularly well and all of which seemed frustratingly trauma-based, when I didn't feel all that traumatized at all. I'm actually pretty resilient, and they seemed to have the expectation that all the problems I had were the result of getting beaten up by a couple of stepfathers, when in reality I kept thinking, "There's stuff I need to learn. There's stuff I don't know. I don't feel nearly as traumatized as they say I am." They were right about depression and a touch of PTSD, but not much else. And the autism was really the major issue I've been dealing with. I guess if I had been diagnosed with autism before all those misdiagnoses and overmedication, I might've resented being told I wasn't normal. But by the time I got the diagnosis, I knew very well I wasn't normal and relished the idea of having a name, a description, and a place to start my research.

I had figured out (because of an enforced religious indoctrination) many many years before I ever heard the words Asperger Syndrome that God did not make us all perfect children.

I was all too well aware than whoever designed me f*cked up the wiring schematic, and didn't give a rat's @ss what kind of struggles that left me to deal with. I just didn't realize that there were others who'd gotten the same 'alternative customizations' - so it was actually a great relief to know I was not marooned alone on this wrong planet.

There was some deep sadness involved in coming to see myself as disabled. I mean, I was old enough to know that my handicaps and functional shortcomings were not going to go away or get better, but there was still something heavy and final about recognizing that as a hard factual reality rather than just an unacknowledged truth.

Am I the only one here who thinks that, even with our Aspergers (and the same can be said for everyone else with such disabilities), we still are "perfect children"?

On-topic: I was, surprisingly, more worried than offended. About 12 at the time, I'd been told I'd had this thing I'd never heard about that made me in some way "different" to others. Not imperfect, nor lesser, but "different". At the time, I had no idea what to think about it. Heck, I still don't. All I know is that I'm normal to myself and, if anyone treats me differently because of my personality, "Who cares?". In my eyes, those who care enough to bother me about it are narrow-minded bigots anyway.

I'm just beginning the process of evaluation. Should know in a couple of months what the outcome is. I think a lot of whether one is offended by it lies in whether you had a clue to it to begin with. From what I've seen here on WP, and other Aspie forums, most of those offended didn't suspect it to begin with. Those who did seemed to feel relief rather than offense.

I sought my own evaluation after over ten years of research, and a few years of suspecting, then about a year and a half of being positive. It won't be offensive to me at all, nor will it be a relief, since my relief came once I was convinced on my own. For me, it'll be a tool, and any relief I might feel in the future, is once I've been able to put that tool to use, and get the wheels in motions on therapy, and everything else I plan to use it for.

"I'm pretty sure I have Asperger's," is not as effective a tool as "I've been diagnosed."

I had diagnosed myself with certainty a year before it was suggested to me. After that it took a few years until the real testing. At that time I was a little nervous, what if they found out I was normal??

They didn't, I was an aspie. And a little above normal IQ, THAT I took offense to, because the testing day was not ideal, I was deeply depressed and also I had not slept night before, but I guess they didn't believe I could have done better.

I thought the diagnosis would not change much. But it did. For a while it changed how I looked at myself, for good and some for bad, for a long time I felt more of an alien than I really was. Like I wasn't even human.

Now I almost even lost interest in Asperger's, like it is yesterdays news. I've finally reverted into being a human being again. Maybe I see myself as too little AS right now (instead of the opposite), but it is hard to get the pendulum where it should be. At least I see myself as ME more than AS. I used to compare a lot, my AS vs NT... Still do but not as much.

Being diagnosed I felt... like I did before... it was just a professional opinion backing up my own.

How I view myself is important to me and I get confused easily.

I do think it can be really different to be diagnosed as an adult, then you can get an explanation for mysteries in the past. If I had been diagnosed at say 14, I think I would have sort of felt threatened. I can't explain it but it would have made me fearful.

No. I was more offended when the psychologist began to tell me that because of my AS that I should give up on becoming a writer and stick to fields where I have more chances of succeeding in like "singing messenger" or "sign painter." My English teacher whipped my portfolio out and showed her quickly that she was full of s**t. XD

On the topic of perfect children:

Not sure how a religious upbringing based on the Bible would cause you to think that all children are perfect. There were only three perfect humans ever mentioned in the Bible. Adam, Eve, then Jesus. No others were ever referred to as perfect. In fact, Genesis 8:212 clearly states, in God's own words:

"And the LORD smelled a sweet savour; and the LORD said in his heart, I will not again curse the ground any more for man's sake; for the imagination of man's heart is evil from his youth; neither will I again smite any more every thing living, as I have done."

The concept of humans being born perfect runs totally contrary to the entire Bible's message. The entire point of the Bible is that Adam and Eve ruined the entire human race, condemning ALL to be born imperfect. The whole idea of the need for Christ's sacrifice is based on that premise. If we are all born perfect, we would all be inclined from birth to do the right thing. The Bible repeatedly points out that our inclinations from birth are not good, and all as a direct consequence of Adam and Eve's choice.

I'm at a loss to understand how you could have learned children are born perfect from a religious upbringing based on Biblical teachings.

No, I wasn't offended. I felt for all practical purposes released from my own frustrations of not having the talent to understand not only people but also myself. Discovering that my brain is wired differently from the norm suddenly made plain to me many things.

My psych there told me my AS can be managed and I could easily work part time... Which I can't! She didn't know enough about me, I hope she does now.

It really makes me feel bad when people think I'm not able to do anything. A somatic dr told me I did so well because I can TALK (argh), someone that was going to put down my school history basically closed her writing pad after we came to HS. I had to remind me I went to Uni as well (she made big eyes). A nurse in hosp told me I do so well in living alone and not in a group home (I lived alone since I was 17). All kinds of odd Can you do this really? You are disabled! And those were things I could do before the DX so I can do them now also!

Well it is true that God only makes perfect children. But humans nearly always make children with faults.

In my case, I wasn't offended, but I was in shock for a while. Up until then, I never knew that someone with autism could be smart at the same time.

Exactly.

I didn't care at all. My only thought was "why do they all have ugly names". It's just a label, I'm myself whatever you call parts of me.

Later I got interested, and found this site... I approve of autistic values, and like the company here. It's nice to know you're not the only one, and to get some advice

Yes, I was offended and denied it. I was seeking help for my child but had never even heard of, let alone considered an ASD diagnosis for either of us.