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donnie_darko
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12 Aug 2010, 12:10 am

So I've been spending the week at my grandma's in California, and basically she's told me aside from this guy who's like a criminal bum, nobody has ever trashed her house worse than me. The sad thing is, I don't even mean to, and I even have tried NOT to because I know I end up doing it unintentionally!

I know she's only trying to help me, but i still feel like such a jerk. I'm sure I do it everywhere I go too. :cry: I thought she was different, but she sounds just like my stepdad who used to beat me and is a total military man.

I wish people would just realize that I'm trying, I don't mean to be a bum.



takemitsu
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12 Aug 2010, 12:19 am

Is there some reason you can't clean up after yourself?



League_Girl
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12 Aug 2010, 12:21 am

How exactly do you trash her house?



donnie_darko
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12 Aug 2010, 5:21 am

well i mean mostly when i eat i leave dishes etc, and don't even realize. idk, am i freak? a jerk? what is wrong with me?



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12 Aug 2010, 7:14 am

well, just clean up after yourself. it's not hard to do and i don't see that being aspie is an excuse not to.



CockneyRebel
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12 Aug 2010, 11:33 am

I clean up after myself, when I go to other people's houses. That's my way, of thanking them. It's really quite easy.


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donnie_darko
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17 Aug 2010, 4:43 am

I sense some judgment. So nobody else has this problem? Am I really alone in this? :? I always ask if people need help with stuff when I'm over at their place, but I still end up forgetting stuff.



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17 Aug 2010, 5:16 am

I can only answer from the other point of view. I have a close friens with AS who lives in a bit distance from me, so when he is over he usually stay a week or two. Even the first times he was over (early 20s in age then) I did notice there was some slight more tidying for me to do.

I dont know wether thats because he is male, because he is sloppy or messy or because of AS, but I found myself having alot more patience with it. Its nothing more than plates/dishes, empty soda cans and tripping in his shoes in the strangest of places. I wouldnt want to tell him off for it though. I might be TOO soft on him but I know its a strain for him to travel anywhere and he hates commuting in any way so I figure stress with unknown house/bed/travel/different routines and also having friends closeup (he normally lives alone) might be enough to take his attention away from dishes. :)

It could also be me being female and completely Monica Geller about house cleaning. :P People have alot different views on mess/tidy state of a room.



Philologos
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17 Aug 2010, 12:56 pm

Actually, it does not take Asperger's. My Grandma A, my Grandma B [their real initials, which is rather neat]. Grandma A super neat - my mother who consiudered me a slob was too messy for her. Do NOT try to clean up, you will do it wrong and make a mess. My Grandma B super slob - even my sister [you cannot imagine] is no worse. You spilled the gravy on the rug? Leave it, the dog will get it and it adds color.

Me - one and the same - in one house I am visiting heap of garbage, in the other I am Mt. Ohsofussy.

It is not you - and not really her.. It is the interaction. I go places, I try to pick up after myselgf, I am not a total slob 0- but what is just right in one house is slopdike in the other and obnoxiuously pickjy in the third.



donnie_darko
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20 Aug 2010, 3:35 am

yeah i'm talking about dishes and cans and stuff. i would NEVER actually "trash" someone's place.



Guitar_Girl
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20 Aug 2010, 7:10 am

Sometimes I leave stuff laying around, but I have gotten better at cleaning up after myself.