Eye contact: Do you avoid it or just not think of it?

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"failure to make appropriate eye contact" is considered a typical ASD issue.

I do try to make eye contact, and I think I do okay...
It's something my parents always made a point of insisting on...

But I've discovered that I avoid eye contact, or must break it, if I'm stressed or trying to get an idea out clearly.. this (and maybe other factors like tone or body language?) has led to people thinking I'm making up stories, fibbing, or otherwise not being honest with them...

I've had the same exact experience. When I was 13, my mother said I was acting "shady" when I avoided eye contact.

I just don't think of it. What does it mean? Can you learn more by looking at a person's eyes than by listening to them, or learning about them other ways?

I work as a cashier, and I often make it through several transactions in a row without making eye contact. Neither confrontation nor compliment is likely when you avoid eye contact!

I do not make eye contact.

I don't make eye contact.

Mostly I look at the mouth when people speak to me/I am listening, when I am speaking I look somewhere else not at the person, I have tried to look at the person but usually then I lose the conversation thread altogether.

I don't make eye contact automatically. I make myself "check in" from time to time during a conversation. This is a vast improvement from when I was younger (even up into my 30's) when I would have to turn my head as well. My parents never gave me a hard time about it though and only one person told me it made me look like I was being shifty. I thought, Huh? I didn't realize people thought it was such a big deal.

I either talk away from people or look at their mouths or noses. I am capable of doing it, but it doesn't come naturally and is based on distance.

It does seem to be a big deal to NT's.
I have twice been shown myself on video and told - look there, you're acting suspicious and guilty - when I ducked my head to formulate sentances during the conversation / confrontation. Now, I know for a fact I wasn't making anything up but was having trouble getting my idea across at the time.

The other day I was at an interview (first time since discovering ASD and so I'm paying more attention to things like this about myself) and realized I was at it again - couldn't make eye contact and think clear at the same time.

I look at their mouths, (when it's my parents), but otherwise, I completely avoid eye contact.

I never realised it was such a big deal either - I don't really think about it unless someone mentions it and my parents never complained, some of my teachers did but I thought they were just trying to give me a hard time. I can't do it though, it's creepy and it makes having a conversation impossible.

I look at their glasses if they have them, otherwise their mouths if I can.

i look at mouths usually but was recently told that's interpreted as a sign of attraction.

no one ever says anything about it but my intentions have been misperceived enough times to believe it.

If I do look at people's faces I either know them extremely well or I am forcing myself to.

When I force the issue on myself, it makes me think of other things (like their facial features) and I won't be able to listen to what they're saying.

I believe that my inability to look at people gives me face-blindness which means I don't remember them and this, then, creates other issues.

I find it very confronting when people get in too close to me, when speaking, and I always take a step back or turn myself sideways so that they are literally speaking into my ear.

I also have a keen sense of smell and will usually concentrate on people's smells which is very distracting in conversation. Especially so if their odour repulses me and all I'm thinking is: "I have got to get away!"

At least, sometimes, I can remember people by how they smell.

If I'm dealing with important people (landlord, boss), or dangerous people (police, thugs) I fake it as best I can. Otherwise, it doesn't occur to me and I don't do it much.

But it is a big deal to people; they can and will interpret it as dishonesty and other negative things. They feel quite entitled to have it, too.

What works for me is to focus just to one side or the other of their face at eye level. It takes practice but it works for me as a technique to fake it. I can only do it for short times and I prefer not to because it's something I have to remember to do. I never knew anything about it being a big deal until I was told by a psychology professor in college that I didn't make eye contact and it might be causing me trouble in interviews. He taught me the technique and I've been using it when I have to ever since (some 25 years).

~Kate