Weird variation I got of "you're so quiet"

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So I'm at work and the only person that sits next to me (we're in cubicles there) doesn't ever say much either from what I've noticed. The job itself doesn't require any talking at all, either to my coworkers or any sort of customer. Perfect, right?

Well on the other side of the front of my cubicle there are these loud annoying old ladies who are just never able to shut up. They're always talking to each other in loud voices and obnoxious laughter about the typical boring crap like stuff their kids did and how much they all hate their husbands, etc. The nature of my job is very repetitive and mentally absorbing however, so I'm usually able to filter them out just fine.

Today, though, one of these idiots is walking in my direction and suddenly just stops and looks at me for a split second before saying "young man?... young man, what's your name?" so I tell her and she replies, "oh I only asked because the whole time you've been here I've never ever heard you say a single thing" (this isn't true either btw). She goes on... "That's the reason I asked your name, to see if you would actually talk or if you still wouldn't say anything". I just continued to stare at her blankly wondering whether she seriously didn't know how dumb this sounded. Surprisingly the old windbag got the hint pretty quick and awkwardly mumbled something like "okay, well that was all... um... '(Io)'... that's an easy name to remember..." while finally heading back to her own desk.

I'm just curious how people here would have responded to this? I've heard the tired old "you're so quiet" a million times before but never phrased this outright condescendingly or senselessly.

Last time I heard that, someone said "you act like you don't speak English but always know what's going on".

Well I work retail so I don't usually get told you're so quiet on the normal meaning, I get it on the, "you need to talk louder because you aren't loud enough for the customers to hear you." However in school I got that quite a bit, the normal meaning I mean.

"Young man? ...what's your name?"
"John."
"Oh I only asked because the whole time you've been here I've never ever heard you say a single thing....that's the reason I asked your name, to see if you would actually talk or if you still wouldn't say anything."
"I just now said something."

End of conversation and a stupid look on her face, depending on whether or not I finish it off with a smile. If I did it jokingly then perhaps she might have rambled on about her kids or husband to me? I don't think so.

Sadly, I have the opposite problem. I don't know when to shut up. I'm so nervous about the silence because I know you're "supposed" to say "something" and I never know what to say so I ramble.

Kinna like this post

I read an anecdote about (U.S. President) Calvin Coolidge ("Silent Cal") once, that at some reception a reporter approached him and said something like, "I've got a bet running with my friend that I couldn't get you to say three words."

Cal replied, "You lose," and walked away.

I once had a job in a third-rate sandwich shop called 'Panini Express', and the woman there (strident, barrel-shaped, small paper hat) suddenly said to me one day: "What are you thinking about? Eh? Always away with the fairies. Live in a world of your own, you."

I had been looking out of the window and thinking about what I'd do if a giant crab appeared and started advancing down the street towards the shop, but I wasn't about to tell her that.

I wish I had a dollar for every time someone told me I'm too quiet or asks if I "know how to talk". I don't know that I'd make the Forbes 500 richest list, but pretty close!!

I got that a great deal when I was younger and I worked in a cubicle. Mostly in the patronizing form of "you don't have to be shy you know, say something, join in, we don't bite." Just when I working up to asking them to have their incredibly repetitive conversation sitting on someone else's desk.

I used to sit next to people like that at work. It was odd but I didn't actually work with them whatsoever; I was assigned to sit there because that's where the free cubicle was. They were always talking up a smalltalk storm, and it was almost entirely about stuff I didn't care about (People Magazine, TV shows, sports, etc.). I don't think I had one direct conversation with any of them for the two years I sat there. Today, if I see the people in the hallway, I still don't say hello or really even acknowledge them.

While no one ever asked me a question like that, I'm sure that a couple of them thought it... though it was obvious that I actually talked because I would talk to the people I DID work with over the phone.

I've gotten this so many times - yet if I were to say, "You're so loud, do you ever shut up?" that would be taken as rude.

It's hard to know why she said that......could be she fancies you, or maybe she was having a laugh at your expense......"here's something unusual, let's poke it with a stick and see what happens."

If it had been me, I'd maybe have tried making a joke back at her expense:
"And what's your name, middle-aged/old [delete as appropriate] woman? I only ask because I've never known you to stop talking"

Sadly, I can't put my hand on my heart and say I could think of that in time in a live situation.

Years ago I heard a group telling a quiet underdog to stop shouting People can be very insensitive, it might have been meant benignly but they don't take much care to check, do they? If I could "read minds" like an NT, I like to think I'd put it to better use, higher social motives and all that.

I was dining at a steakhouse the other night with work "friends" doing my damnedest to join in the conversation and everyone was really nice and supportive and including me (I think), then our waitress called me out in front of everyone and said I was horribly monotone and that even my facial expressions were monotone! WTF? Everyone took my side, thankfully, and commented how that was a very jerk thing to say. Unfortunately, her gratuity was already included in the bill due to our large group. Lol.

What a weird lady.

I'd have said "you gotta watch out for the quiet ones" and fiddled with envelope opener. LOL

This is how I like to reply:

DID YOU EVER STOP TO THINK THAT MY BEING SO QUIET HAS NOTHING TO DO WHATSOEVER WITH YOU? DID IT EVER...EVER OCCUR TO YOU THAT I'M PERFECTLY CONTENT TO BE ALONE WITH MY THOUGHTS AND THAT I HAVE NO INTEREST IN JOINING IN WITH YOUR INANE CONVERSATION AND ANTICS?

I'M NOT SAD.

I'M NOT MAD. (AT LEAST UP TO THIS POINT)

I'M NOT STUCK UP.

I AM CONTENT.

I DO NOT WANT TO TALK.

LEAVE ME ALONE.

LEAVE ME THE FREAK ALONE.

But then, I'd be taken as RUDE.