More rude now than before??

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I always say "I've always been rude " etc. mom is always like "No you weren't always rude" and I need to learn to change it etc. so I don't upset my family as much. It seems almost everyday I get a "That was rude why did you say that?" comment tossed at me. So I'm curious to ask other Aspies are you more rude than before (As in more rude as an adult than when you were a child) Mom says since I don't try to change I must not want to change the fact that my rudeness upsets them.

I'm thinking it's a matter of age. As you get older, most people will accept less and less behaviour from you that they consider 'odd' ... I've started to encounter this attitude more and more as well as I get older... not only from family and peers but also at places of work..
So, you aren't alone...

What you need to ask yourself every time you are accused of it is "Did you intend to be rude?" "Did you know it was rude before you were told so?"

If you DO agree that you are purposely (or naturally) being rude then perhaps you do need to adress it for the sake of social interactions in general.

If you get accused of it, and you REALLY were not intending to be rude (or really believe that you had not been acting rude at all) then it is probably them who need to adjust their acceptance a bit... because if you can't see it, it's a bit harder to fix.

That's right, things kids say is more acceptable because they haven't yet developed a social filter to not say things so grown ups don't take it seriously nor personally and they let it go. But as they get older, they keep developing it and then by their teens they know what not to say. People just expect more out of you as you get older and therefore you get less patience from people and more meanness.

I agree. I think it's that lack of tolerance as we get older that explains why AS isn't even noticed many times until we get older.

What everyone else said made sense--people become less tolerant as you get older because they think you "should know better."

The problem that arises with someone who has AS is that they may need to be TAUGHT to "know better." If your parents didn't take the time to do that, then a large part of this is THEIR problem.

(Of course, you know my thoughts on this already.... )

that's how maturity is defined... it's an invisible standard for behavior that moves with age group. overly mature means acting like an adult when you're still teenager/child. immature is acting like people think small kids act when you get older.

Yeah, I think it's the definition of "rudeness" that alters over time.

I was inadvertently rude a lot as a kid, but the reasons changed.
For instance, at six years old, I was struggling to put on shoes to go to recess and the teacher for the next class up walked by and said, "Hurry up, kiddo." She was carrying a lot of papers and books, so I said, "Hurry up yourself." Terribly rude, I know now, but at the time, what I meant to say and failed because my language was simply incorrect, was, "Gosh, it looks like you've got a heavy load. I guess we're both having trouble getting where we need to be." My sort-of-echolalia of her statement was meant to reflect the idea that we were in sort-of-similar positions, which I didn't have the appropriate language to simply say on my own.
As I grew older, it became less and less of a language barrier (I moved on from echolalia/mitigated echolalia) and more of a case of not having proper social constraints. Years later (I think I was thirteen), I was in an after-school class and the rest of the students were on break. I was in the classroom and I have no idea what I said, but the teacher suddenly told me, "You know, you're very forward." Not really understanding, I said, "Okay." She looked sternly at me and said, "That's not a good thing. It might be okay as a child, but it's not okay now." (I only said okay because I didn't want to be seen as disagreeing with her, and I hadn't really any idea what her statement meant.)
Nowadays, as an adult, my slip-ups are all in the realm of carrying a joke too far, or inadvertently saying something that in retrospect turns out to be nothing like what I had intended. It's a little bit social, a little bit language (it's harder the more I try to get away from scripting), and a little bit simply having trouble processing others' statements and my own responses in time. When it's a choice between taking an abnormally long time to respond, or responding quickly (but often wrongly), I still haven't quite mastered the skill of choosing the former, rather than the latter, option.

Glad I'm not the only one. It's interesting you remember these as adults called them "rude comments" but I don't remember any. I remember mainly being bullied and not having many "true" friends. Hey sing the Hound Dog (elivs song BTW) I would say sure and make a fool of myself I assumed they were laughing at the song being funny but they were laughing at me. Sad times,sad times.

I think I've always come across as somewhat "rude" to other people, from childhood until now. Maybe because I've never done the social filter. I just say exactly what I mean.

I was always told "think before you act" But I have never learned to do that perhaps that's an AS thing I'm not to sure.