How do you tell someone you have AS?

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I dare say this question has been asked before on WP, but I honestly have no idea about how to go about it!!
Any suggestions?

Be honest! Try not to let your buttons get pushed.

Why do you wan to tell them? You are the same person with or without.

just casually.
make sure you're not holding any sharp or pointy objects when doing so,
and keep in mind to try to suppress the murderous sparkle in your eye,
and everything should go hunky dory, okey doke ?

I think they may have it too, but I'm not sure how to open a conversation about incase they don't- I heard about it second hand so it may be a rumour and I'm not good at judging these things!! I thought it would be good to have chat about, a bit like on WP
Also might let people understand me a bit better if they know I'm not weird!! !

Sorry, but having Asperger's means you are weird. Giving a label to people that don't need to know can only alienate you further because a diagnosis = messed up to most people, especially one with a name as commonly twisted as Asperger's is.

Why not just become the person's friend? If they're your friend it'd be a lot easier to talk about.

I would just be upfront about telling them. I use it to add shock value when I first meet someone, because most people can't believe that I have AS.

Normally people might be insulted when you say you think they have something unless you have it also. Basically, say that I have Aspergers and I might be wrong, but I think you might have it also.

A friend long ago told me that I wouldn't have to tell anyone anything since my ASD would be noticed anyway. I can't hide it or fake it. So I usually tell people.

So if you are in a position to ask this question, are you sufficiently high-functioning that people won't notice unless you bring it up?

In my case, yes.

That works for me.

Hi AW!

I've not read down through all the posts, but my first question here is "Why?" Why are you telling them about being an Aspie? If it's to get accommodations at a workplace or school it's one thing. In that case, I'd keep it positive and as part of a private conversation. "You may have noticed I have some trouble with [fill in the blank]. This is because I have a neurological condition called Asperger's Syndrome that sometimes causes me some difficulties. One of them is [whatever's bothering you]. I will be able to manage better [in class, at work, whatever fits] if I can [fill in accommodation]. As long as it's not horrifically expensive or innately unreasonable, there should be no problems with the accommodation.

Otherwise, why would it be necessary to announce to anyone you're an Aspie? It might be like me suddenly announcing to an acquaintance I see on the train every week that I've got a liver that looks like a moth-eaten swiss cheese on MRI scans and occasionally have a whopping case of heartburn. (It does, to an amazing extent, actually, and I do.) Perhaps your neurologic status might prove an interesting topic, but I think it's probably more likely to prove a source of some anxiety and awkwardness for all parties in the conversation, especially if it's not someone you've known a long time. It's not like saying you have a particular religious or political belief.

There are a lot of people - some of them relatively educated - who are clueless about spectrum disorders. You say "Aspergers" and they think "Autism" and thence go to "Rainman"... if they can make any leaps at all (if they have any clue at all what Asperger's is). Factor that in before you start advertising your neurological status. As examples of why: I am a semester and a dissertation short of a PhD in Political Science. (Long story, could not finish it and never will - had nothing to do with Asperger's.) I've conversationally mentioned, in the past, being an Aspie and had people almost immediately start talking to me as if I had the I.Q. of a clam. Even if they had not up to that point!

In one instance a woman started speaking ... very ... slowly ... and ... distinctly ... so ... that ... I ... could ... understand ... her. (What...an...idiot! ) I had just finished an invited presentation to her "social club" regarding my research in a specific area of government policy - specifically, the lack of appropriate services for disabled individuals and was using my daughter and myself as examples.) Another person at another time was amazed that I did volunteer work at a pet shelter - she'd "heard" that "you autistics had no empathy for anything and no emotions." (Oh, I've wished that latter bit more than once in my life, but hardly true.) I mean, really, what do you say to respond to a statement like that??? Using the exchange as an opportunity to enlighten the public has merit, but it gets old, and very quickly.

If you're wanting to tell them because you think THEY think you are a little odd and you think it will be better and you will be more accepted if they know about your diagnosis... remember, there are many, many "odd" people in the world. They keep the place from being like a bologna sandwich - bologna on white bread (bland, bland, bland!). They are a PLUS in society, even if not everyone in a society recognizes that.

And, more importantly:

I know it's kind of hard to believe, but while you're worrying about what people think of you, it's highly likely that's the last thing on their minds. It's entirely more likely that they're worried about what you think of THEM! No, really!

That and people were "odd" for generations before anyone ever heard of Dr. Asperger. They were just "odd" or "eccentric" or "unique" or sometimes "gifted". (We/they didn't have a label to put on it.) Remember, real friends accept you for who you are - you don't need to justify yourself to them. Be sure you understand why you're advertising this before you do it. If you feel you do and it seems appropriate to you, just keep it short and simple, but answer questions honestly if you get any.I'd advise working it into a conversation when something happened that was noticeable - if you can't handle the sound of fluorescent lights, for example, you might say it's because you are an Aspie and have some related sensory issues as you move away from the light. Then just let it go. If it seems unwise, you can always say about some quirk of yours "that's just the way I am", smile, and move on to something else.

Good luck, whatever you do!

It's important, though. The lack of awareness that some people have can be dangerous, and it's really up to those who understand autism to be able to educate those who don't. It's repetitive, yes, but it can make a huge difference.

I think there's a huge difference between being just odd/quirky and having Asperger's. A person can be quirky in terms of their interests, clothing preferences, outlook on life, etc. and refuse to follow the crowd, but they will still be able to do nonverbal communication, understand social subtleties, and get through a busy day without being completely drained to the point of being non-functional. I agree that it's not always necessary to disclose, but sometimes I've felt compelled to disclose in a social setting because I said something that made other people uncomfortable unintentionally. I needed to let them know that there is a valid biological reason behind why I give out mixed messages, because otherwise, they automatically expect me to be able to communicate in the same way as everybody else.

Exactly. But because they don't only interpret the verbal part of the message, they can misinterpret you completely. As I said before, people like to be around people who make them feel comfortable. If they see something odd about you, they'll start wondering what it is, especially if they don't have a clue about what Asperger's is. Often, chances are, they'll never want to speak to you again, because being with you can make them uncomfortable. I think it's as much work for non-autistics to communicate in a more straightforward way as it is for autistics to communicate in a more subtle way.

To answer the OP's question, the optimal method of disclosing depends on the people you wish to disclose to. With a classmate or with a group of classmates, I would disclose in the presence of someone who knows a lot about AS and who can help me explain it if I happen to be at a loss of words. I disclosed to the whole school through a newspaper article where I gave a thorough explanation of autism before mentioning my diagnosis. To a teacher or professor, you should meet them one-on-one, show them a letter and say that you're registered with the disability services so that you could get accomodations. In a workplace, I would also suggest writing a letter and talking one-on-one with your manager or whoever the person in charge happens to be.

I wouldn't bother telling people about it, it would just cause to much trouble as the person I am telling might feel insecure about it and most certainly wouldn't understand anyway. NT's are built to be as*holes and they do it very very well.

"I have the same type of autism that Bill Gates (probably) has"

If you missed out the word "probably" when saying that to an NT, they would immediately dislike you. Why? Simple, because they decipher it as you are bragging that you are rich, the same as Bill Gates is. NT's are strange creatures, they always jump to conclusions, especially if they are on one of their ego trips.