Being mocked

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If you had to choose . . . do you find it more hurtful/upsetting if people make fun of you in front of you, or behind your back?

I think maybe I prefer in my presence, as I've come to learn (though I often forget) that this kind of thing can be good-natured, though of course I wish they wouldn't at all.

Behind my back seems mean . . . and as though they know it is a shameful act. Just my thoughts.

I voted behind my back. Too many things can happen if people mock me to my face. I've been mocked enough to my face in my life and i'd rather people kept their thoughts about me to themselves. I might become very angry if they mock me to my face and somebody (including myself) may get hurt. I mean I probably would never "draw first blood" in the physical sense, but I may say something like "f**k off" or whatever and they might see that as cause for escalation. Therefore...I prefer to be ignored by most of humanity and they can say whatever they want about me behind my back.

If people are so terribly emotionally stunted that they need to mock me (assuming this is a negative kind of thing they're doing), I'd really rather not know about it or I'd waste time trying to figure out why they were doing it. Their problem, not mine.

I have suffered the results of people talking behind my back when I didn't know about it until later. There were repercussions involving other people believing things that were untrue and, without going into details, it affected my workplace environment. I have also been the subject of direct nastiness. I much prefer the kind I can see and possibly mitigate.

I would rather be talked about behind my back. I don't want to know what people think of me if it's all negative. I don't even want to be told about it or directed to threads about people talking about me. I careless what people think and I don't have the mental energy to defend myself because it's the internet and in real life, I careless what strangers think or other co workers. Every time I hear about people misunderstanding me or thinking wrong things of me, I get all obsessed about what I did wrong and why do they think it and what do I do to come off that way. Same as when people have the guts to say it to my face without me even asking. But then I get over it and think it's just them. Just the minority. When I would hear that people do talk behind my back, I wouldn't even care. In fact I feel thrilled and I must draw that much attention for them to talk about me and I must be that popular. If I were to come to a thread about me on another forum, I might just say to them "Thanks guys for starting a thread about me, I feel famous and honored." I would probably troll them too for laughs and watch them fall for it and talk even more about me. But it would depend on the content of course what was being said about me.


But sadly I have the bad habit of telling my friends about a thread being started about them because I feel like a bad friend if I don't tell them. Same as when I hear bad things about them.

To my face, or at least with my knowledge. The place I live in is a city with a village mentality, where everyone gossips and pretends to know everyone else. Talk, especially malicious talk, goes around very quickly. People who are not involved in the mocking get to hear it, and can often believe it.

I especially want to know if my kids teachers and the parents of their friends hear malicious comments about me. For instance, I was in hospital with depression and much preferred that people knew the truth than some of the horrendous, juicy explanations that the worst gossipers made up.

I am bad at confrontation, and being insulted/mocked to my face would totally confuse me in terms of 'How should I react?'
Often, when people insult me, I resort to kicking them in the shin, which I later regret (as I may get in trouble). I have never really had much experience with gossip aimed at me.

It would be better for everyone involved if they mocked me elsewhere...
But even better if they were mature enough to ask me to my facee about my oddities instead of mocking me in any way.

I would prefer to have people be mean behind my back, because in general I don't care what other people think of me unless I care about them and value them as a friend, and I hope that someone in that position would not mock me at all. It is not what people say that bothers me, so much as humiliation and confrontation. The situation of being mocked is much worse than the subject, if that makes sense.

I would rather it be done to my face.
If it's done to my face, it will make me sad. Not angry (mainly because my lack of pretty much any self-confidence immediately assures me that my attackers must be right, no matter how mean or ridiculous the things they say), but sad. Depending on who's doing the mocking (and whether or not I trusted him or her to begin with) it can be heartbreaking.
But that said, it lets me try to change the things being mocked. If I know, I can change. (I know I ought to be standing up for myself or at least for who I am, rather than changing, but let's face it, avoidance is a safe option.) Or if I can't change them, it lets me know whom to avoid - who's a "safe" person to be around, and who'll turn on me. In my book, it's always, always safer and better to know than not to know.
Behind my back, I just get nervous, I don't know why people are laughing, I don't understand who's an enemy and who isn't, it gets overwhelming, and I can't change or avoid anything. The thought that people are probably doing this to me in real life is pretty terrifying. (Not my friends, I hope, but I've been witness to plenty of occasions where one acquaintance/colleague does this to another behind his or her back, when I'd thought they were good friends.)

Basically, I value any kind of honesty, because I need to know. Regardless of how mean or hard-to-take.

I'd rather be looked over than overlooked.

I don't mind either way because I'm guilty of mocking people.

So...I think that would give people the right to mock me.

If it's done in my presence, then it gives me the right to give it back and have a laugh...yes, even a laugh at myself.

If it's done behind my back...meh...at least I'm making some kind of impression on people and I'm not the invisible person who tends to get overlooked.

Does this make any sense to anyone? I hope so...

I would rather have them not make fun of me at all, but if given the choice, I would rather know what they say.

When I was in high school, there were rumors that I was a lesbian. I didn't care. I don't remember what other rumors there were.

Then after I was out of high school, I found out a few years later there were still rumors. One of them was like I was getting married and going to have a baby. This was back in 2007 and I had none of that then.

I don't know how these started and what I did to make those spread but my my mother told me, me always being alone will make people think I'm gay. I was like "Huh?" because I fail to see how being alone makes someone gay. Wouldn't I be kissing or flirting with girls if I were? What about going out with them too?

People sure have irrational thoughts.

I'd rather that they do it to my face, than behind my back. That way, I'd know exactly what they said about me, and they would see, that I have feelings.

It doesn't matter to me. I've gotten it so much in my life that I don't really care one way or another. I think that even if people do it behind your back it will still eventually get to you, if not in words then in treatment from others. Often, in person I haven't gotten the fact that I'm being mocked until someone tells me I am. So, even to my face it doesn't always have the desired effect. lol!!

It doesn't matter to me. I've gotten it so much in my life that I don't really care one way or another. I think that even if people do it behind your back it will still eventually get to you, if not in words then in treatment from others. Often, in person I haven't gotten the fact that I'm being mocked until someone tells me I am. So, even to my face it doesn't always have the desired effect.