Do I Have Aspergers?

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I have always felt separate from other people. Even my best friend who I've known since elementary school. I feel no more connection to him than a stranger. I do have empathy although I can intentionally let people down without feeling remorse. When I'm with a group of people who I've known for less than a year I usually don't talk. I feel content to listen and have nothing to say even when the group is silent, unless someone asks me a question. I've never taken an IQ test but I got honors in high school with very little effort. Prolonged eye contact causes me to fall in love for lack of a better word. I have social anxiety disorder. I have unintentional aggression toward other males. I have trouble walking normally when I feel like someone may be watching me. Lately I've developed an embarrassing pelvic twitch. I experience random moments of ecstasy, sometimes physical, sometimes mental. I am sometimes very unaware of my surroundings and bump into things/knock things over fairly often. When I was younger I would routinely bite my bicep for no apparent reason. I have an iron will (no exaggeration, I'm scared of nothing other than social interaction, no one changes my opinion but me, and I have extremely high pain tolerance) so I can maintain eye contact despite the sensations it causes.

Based on this do you think I have Aspergers? I can elaborate on specifics and/or answer questions if it helps.

Do you happen to have any sensory issues?

What does that mean?

Maybe.

What are you talking about, with the eye contact? Fall in love?

How are you with routines? Do you rock back and forth, squeal, pick your skin, really like Christmas lights, any little quirks like that? Are there any clothes you hate wearing? Why?

Have you ever been interested in high powered blenders and found them comforting?

Well I have issues with sound, touch, smells, and light. Bright lights debilitate me. So does the sun shining on me and if there is pressure on the back of my neck, or heat. I will end up in pain with a terrible headache. The headache will usually last 4 hours. Certain scents make my day hell. Vinegar, sweet things, candles. They smell so strong, even when other people don't they they are. I have to go to sleep to shake the pain. Loud noises give me headaches and cause me to stim. There are more examples I have, but those are a few.

When I make prolonged eye contact with someone I feel an extreme buildup of energy. Most of the time it's love, lately it's tension and fear.

I used to bite my lips and chew my nails often but I've almost broken those habits. If I close my eyes in an environment with a lot of things going on they twitch uncontrollably. If I let my eyes wander they almost always end up checking out women or staring at shiny/sharp objects. As a result I am extremely mindful of my gaze. Lately I've become obsessed with mycology and spend the majority of my free time researching it. I've always been somewhat obsessed with weapons. Although I dislike their purpose I find them beautiful in their efficiency, especially katanas. I dream of owning an authentic one someday.

I can't stand the smell of vinegar. That's about it.

I'd say probably yes. Ever seen either one of these tests?

http://www.piepalace.ca/blog/asperger-test-aq-test/

http://www.rdos.net/eng/Aspie-quiz.php

Welcome aboard!

The first test said: Average male or female computer scientist
The second: Your Aspie score: 108 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 91 of 200
You seem to have both Aspie and neurotypical traits

And conundrum I drew something almost exactly like your profile picture. It was on a whim and the only art I've ever drawn. It has a star in the centre with the black parts of four yin yangs coming out of the black parts of the star, then there are black curves that come from the ends of the star to form a circle around the whole thing. Weird.

I mean look at that, practically identical.

Wow. I like your rendition.

On the first test for me it said "most likely an Aspie" (numerical score = 37). The second one was also split down the middle, though the scores were closer together.

I don't know if either one is conclusive, but for me they were enough to explain a lot about myself.

For you: maybe yes, maybe no, but if you feel comfortable here please stick around.

Glad you found us. Again, welcome and GREAT drawing!

Unlike Conundrum have said, I will say "probably not". Most of your symptoms could simply be explained by a mix of social anxiety and introversion. No reference of "special interests" and even the routines/stereotyped movements seems of the type that many NT people have (the only unusual seems biting the biceps).

And, from the OP, I don't see any problem in "reading"/understanding other people (issues like social cues, non-verbal communicatuion, sarcasm/metaphors, etc.).

Yeah, when I look at certain individuals for too long I want to make love to them. Is that what you meant?

And sensory deals with sight, touch, smell and sound. I'm oversensitive to all.

For some people yes, with everyone though it's like I'm forming some deep connection that is probably inappropriate for the situation.

I'm quite sensitive to sound. Loud sounds that don't bother most people hurt my ears and I unfortunately hear people when they think I'm out of hearing range or when they talk to themselves quietly. That probably doesn't count as oversensitive though.