Sometimes, having a name for my weirdness feels comforting because I am not utterly alone in this world of social rules which most of them dont make any sense, but other times I feel like I am either not N/t enough or aspie enough to fit in any neat catagory.
It kinda reminds me of when I was in jr high and I was placed in a deaf classroom because I am hearing impared...but to them, I was not deaf enough since I was not fluent in sign language, so I was ignored by them and I was ignored by the hearing students because they thought I was deaf. The ones that knew I was not deaf thought I was weird
Sometimes I feel that way about being an aspie, I do have some difficulty, but it is not as debilitating as some folks here. I just view it as part of who I am, but I dont see myself as part of asperger's.
But as far as feeling like a syndrome.... it is part of who you are, but you are not aspergers personified because it only makes up how you relate with others, but it does not determine your personal views, tastes, energy level, what you find funny or not. It does not make up your perspective on many issues of our society, what you find to be moral or not, nor does it determine what you choosee to excel in and what you find irrevalant.
Think of it like this,
aspies are like butterflies... and N/T's are like all other flying bugs.
yes there are somethings butterflies all have in common...which make them different from other bug species, but on the other hand butterflies differ very much in color, shape of wings, pattern of wings, migrational habits, preferance in food, larve types, and populations.
In the same way, there is alot about you that is shaped by AS but not completely a result of it.
If you really look around here, you will find a great diversity of folks
Some of us are politically left, others right, and others could care less
Some of us are creative, others technical, others math inclined and others do very poor in math.
Some of us are emotional and passionate while others are very low key and logic- minded
Some of us are comical, while others are very serious...and others are both
Some of us communicate better through writing...while others comunicate best through acting out thoughts and feelings.
Some of us are meek, and delicate while others are tough skinned and will tell anyone what they think regardless of what ppl think.
Some of us are very "typically" aspie while others break the mold.
Although you share alot of similarities with other AS people, there is still alot about you and everyone else here that is not part of the disorder but a result of family history, genetics, racial subculture, experiences, education, peer relations, and social economic status. Lets say AS is a looking glass through which you view the world. How well you see through a looking glass is determined by the power of lens, but it does not determine the subject in which you see through the looking glass.
That which you see is what makes you an individual.
best wishes,
Jojo
_________________
All art is a kind of confession, more or less oblique. All artists, if they are to survive, are forced, at last, to tell the whole story; to vomit the anguish up.
-James Baldwin
28 Aug 2010, 6:10 pm
