well, here come a long post...
I started reaseaching more into AS about 7 weeks ago. For the first time ever i connected with someone. Now i met someone who could finnish my sentences and who seemed to understand me throught the smoke and mirrors i put up. then one day in casual conversation he mentioned he was AS, i knew that AS had been mentioned in regard to me several times but i was unsure, when and who by. This made me think about why he understood me and why e was able to speak through my mirrors. That made me start researching.
I live in fostercare and the people who i currently live with have no information on me at all, nothing was ever passed on. I moved from one county to the other and the social services never passed on the infomation.
anyway, i started reseaching more into it online and thought 'thats me!!' i tried to talk to my foster parensta bout it and they said i was wrong and looking for excuses. after much thinking and trying to figure stuff out i found out the number of a counseller i use to see.
i phoned him and asked him about asperger and he said to me it had been raised many many time and it was gennerally agreed that i was. this infomation shocked m, because i didn't think anyone had ever mentioned it to me. when i asked him about why no one had ever told me he said that my parenst had said i was not to be told. so he tried to tell me without telling me but i wasent intrested because i just saw it as a label.
anyway lots more thinking and figureing of stuff out and then lots of talking to the people around me (who were adamanet i was not AS) and then i moved foster placements.
I moved back to where i am now which is closer to where i use to live, and on friday just gone (the 5th) i went to see the counsleer person in person. and i had avery very intresting talk with him about AS and asscited thing, he was also able to tell me about all the assesents i had done and aout what he thought. anyway, he said that i did have an offcial DX and i infact had been DXed twice. they tried to give me help by my parents wouldn't allow it. also i was saying i did not want it. mind you i did not know what it was.
anyway, the last DX was buy a autism expert at a place in Taunton.and person said he thought that i was borderline AS / HFA and then i moved placement out to the other county. that was 2.5 / 3 years ago now and due to one thing or another (long story) i have very much built up an act. the me most peopel see that seems to be coping and doing well is not the real me bye far. I seemed to ha been able to be almost NT. many people still said i was starnge person and rather eccentric but in toitallity it was not much of a problem. however from hiding it for so long i stopped feelin what it was like to be me, and currently i am trying to relearn what it is like to be me. For the first time since i build my act up a few years ago i am trying to feel the world, i am also trying to be me. Intrestingly, since i have been doing this people have commented that i seem stranger than normal.
anyway, i am going to be seeking a formal DX again soon, and i am hoping that i will be able to find a way to get some help in the area i need it.
so in short that is how i found out that i am aspie.
jammie
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