Do some aspies have lots of empathy? My seven year old . .

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it's awesome your daughter won't eat animals. i am veg and have been for over 30 years. your girl rocks!

I have always been deeply empathetic & sympathetic.

Over the course of my life, I managed to develop good empathy skills, but even now, I see it as more of a logical, rather than an emotional, skill. It's very thought-out, almost computer-like process. The following is an illustration of it, complete with progress bars.

So let's say someone told me about their close relative passing away.

Analyzing situation:
[0%||||||....................30%]
Result: someone lost a relative.

Calculating reaction:
[0%||||||||||||||..........55%]
Result: I need to say something consoling

Calibrating emotions:
[0%|||||||||||||||||......70%]
Result: I need to sound reassuring without being too emotional

Determining response:
[0%||||||||||||||||||||..90%]
Result: "Man, I'm sorry to hear that. How are you holding up?" said in a calm, reassuring tone.
<waiting for response>

Determining follow-up:
[0%|||||||||||||||||||||.95%]
Result: "He/she lived as long as he/she could. Still, I'm sorry you have to go through it."

Creating closing phrase:
[0%|||||||||||||||||||||100%]
Result: "The truth is, the living must keep moving forward; only the departed stay in one place.

In the end, this worked out very well, and people seemed comfortable with my choice of words. Another thing that helped me is having seen a shrink in the past. While she was good, some of the advice she gave me seemed patronizing and even a little naive at times. (Such as when my parents flat-out refused to get me a pet, the therapist suggested that I "just calmly explain to them how a pet will help me".) So I learned that lesson, and adopted it for use in my calculation process when I'm expected to show empathy.

I am empathetic, and sympathetic.
I am actually over sensitive emotions, I once watched "morph" when I was little and one of the plasticine people shoves cakes in the other ones mouth, I kept thinking about how that little man felt with those cakes forced in his mouth and I was really upset and crying loads.
But sometimes when a friend starts crying or getting emotional I don't know what to do and I feel very uncomfortable.
From what I've read and seen maybe the "lack" of empathy is mostly in boys where as the girls can be very very empathetic.

Since when were people with Aspergers un-empathetic?
I very empathetic and have been my whole life.

When I was 5 years old, I recall that our teacher asked us each to bring a story book to school. I told my mother, and that evening she helped me to choose a book. She took me to school the following morning - the book was in her bag, and when we got to the school gate, she got chatting to a neighbour and we both forgot about the book. When I got into the classroom and realised what had happened, I was beside myself with grief, crying uncontrollably, which mystified the teachers. I wasn't sad for myself, it was for my mother, I imagined that she'd be very upset when she realised we'd forgotten the book. But when I got home, I was surprised to find that Mum had taken the problem in her stride.

I don't quite know what to make of that episode. Obvously in terms of AS it looks like a huge capacity for empathy which was misplaced, and that fits very nicely with the idea expressed many times on this thread, that Aspies have empathy but have trouble working out what the other person's emotions are.

But there's a confounding variable.....I'm sure I recall that when Mum helped me to choose the book, she suggested one book in particular. I wasn't so sure I wanted to take that one, and she said something like "oh, don't you want to take that one?" and she came over as being all hurt about it, possibly even pretended she was about to cry. So maybe that's why I thought she'd be so sad about forgetting the book, because she'd deliberately led me to believe that it was very important to her emotionally. I'd sacrificed my own freedom to choose, to protect her from getting so badly hurt, and it had all gone wrong.

It's rather off-topic, but why the hell should anybody want do that to a 5-year-old child?

I can be empathetic, it's just expressing it which is hard.
EMZ=]

Dear B Marie, there are a great deal of people with Aspergers whom have a sufficient and sustainability as, it pertains to the issue of Empathy.Mind you, this is always differing from person to person within the spectrum as, not forgetting the scenario as well.I,myself tend to be able to related empathic with most people but, it's not always noticeable nor, is it the same with all people I come across but, don't let this deter you for, I'm simply trying to present a clear picture of such even if, I'm not the best representative of such..


Professor X

I struggle with defining what empathy actually is. I think I'm very empathic in many ways, as I get disturbed by horrific images on the news and can myself to sleep sometimes. I think I understand how people are feeling and I react strongly when I see someone's emotional reaction to an event - as long as this is on TV.

If I see someone crying or having another strong emotional reaction in real life I tend to bolt - can't handle it. I can't do the comfort thing as I just don't know what to say or do, but it isn't that I don't care as I care very deeply.

But then sometimes I get very upset because I think someone has been hurt, but in fact what is upsetting me is what the situation has stirred in ME. I'm not actually experiencing what the other person is feeling, but I'm relating it to something I have been through in the past. Therefore I can't be experiencing empathy as it's nothing to do with the person's feelings, only my perception of them based on my own emotions. That can't be true empathy can it, as it's all about me?

But then doesn't everyone only experience life through their own eyes, so how can we put ourselves into someone else's shoes, as they define it?

I'm so confused

People with ASDs have low or no empathy. However, those with insight/awareness can use their cognitive ability to work out the situation; it'll usually be delayed, but it'll be there. It's just not "felt" instantly.

Yes, once individuals realize what's going down, they then understand and care.

Sympathy isn't affected, and that's far more important than empathy in regards to decent and good behaviour, as if you know what it's like to have something happen, like if someone hits you you know it hurts, so the individual with an ASD will realize that it hurts the person when they hit said person.

Some "unlucky" individuals can have a double hit in regards to lacking empathy, and that's comorbid psychopathy (i.e., they don't care when they figure it out). There's two types of empathy.