Is it a bad thing because I upset people alot I want a baby

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I know I can't look after a baby. Heck, I can barley look after myself. But maybe if I can get pregnant, I can give the baby up for adoption and people will sorry for the situation and not be as upset with me in the future. Is that a selfish plan?

Yeah that is. Dont put a poor child into that situation

Why would you want to have a baby you just had to give up for adoption? Wouldn't that make it really hard because you'd want to keep it?

That sounds very selfish.
Firstly, you would be using another human being sole purpose getting yourself pregnant.
Secondly, you will be bringing a child into this world for the sole purpose of giving it up to get sympathy.
Thirdly, you would be using a contrived situation in an attempt to manipulate the emotions of those close to you.
Even if you did this I doubt the end result would be what you think. If anything they would think you were irresponsible and for good reason.
If you want people to not be upset with you, you'd be better off asking them to explain what it is that upsets them and try to work on those things.

Its hard to ask people to not be upset

In my opinion, this is a bad plan. If it works, you would likely become a target of both scorn and pity. If it fails, you would likely become a target of both contempt and ostracism.

I'm not even sure why you'd actually want to do that. What is it you want to actually accomplish out of all this?

Please.....forget about this idea.

I can guarantee you it's no where near as hard as pregnancy and child birth and I can also guarantee that doing the kind of thing you have suggested will only make them more upset.

That's an unbelievably stupid idea. I think if most people knew someone who did that they'd have significantly less sympathy.

1. Since you are 31, legally an adult, nobody will care more or less. I had friends pull a variation of your plan, and thought -moron, good luck with that- , and the sperm donor was usually a trainwreck and/or his is family. You'll be forever linked to other people that you may hate. So not worth it.

2. Adoption...it is not as easy as you think. The father will have "dibs" on the baby. If the dad does a pass, the state will look for next of kin. It may be your relatives or his. If there is no one, then baby will go to foster care and the adopted out.

*Truly private adoptions are few and far between. Those are young teens with no clue who the father is.

No one feels sorry for women getting pregnant, unless you are so low functioning, and there is an inkling the sex wasn't consensual. Then people get upset, the baby is adopted out (at least around here), the woman gets Norplant or Depo shots, and hustled off to supervised housing.

Not a whole lotta upside to any of that mess. Bonus round is some other human hunting you down when they turn 18, wondering about the whole story.

This has nope written all over it.

Last edited by Tawaki on 26 Jan 2016, 8:24 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Horrible idea. Just get it out of your mind completely. And yes, it is extremely selfish.

This. Bad idea.

You think they're judgmental NOW?! Get yourself pregnant and watch it explode.

You will never live it down.

Forget you ever thought of it.

You want to get pregnant and have a baby so you can put it up for an adoption? I never heard of that. I don't know what to think of it but everyone else is saying that is very selfish. How would that stop people from getting upset with you?

Dont ask them. You can't request that they turn their feelings off or change them. Accept that they're upset and ask them why. If it's something you've done/not done/said/not said then try to remember the action they'd prefer if the same situation arises in the future.

Is everyone's interpretations of your intentions here correct? Because I find the logic a bit hard to follow.
If so, then I would suggest your plan would actually make people more upset with you.
Even women who have drug abuse, mental health, or domestic violence issues and have babies are thought of badly - the general consensus being that if your situation is not adequate to care for a child, you shouldn't have had one. The blame is put on the mother. So yes, it would actually be a cause for people to be more upset with you, and I don't really see how it would prevent them being upset with you at all.
Also, since autism is generally believed to be linked to genetics, there is a chance you may have an autistic child. You know how difficult life is as an autistic - imagine this from your child's point of view. Born autistic by an autistic mother who didn't want kids anyway, just had you for her own gain, then given away because she didn't want you. I doubt you would have appreciated your mother having you under such conditions.