Just how much pressure do women feel to look pretty?

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I notice as an aspie male that there is pressure for a guy to succeed and be a protector. However, I feel no real societal pressure to look attractive.



I do notice that females have mores pressure to look good. Anyone mind telling me how much?

bump...

Depends on if they want to be pretty or not. If so, their is a lot just b/c beauty standards are unrealistic.

Isn't it unrealistic for a women to expect a guy to make 100k a year too? Kind of the same concept.

edit: I guess it isn't wildly unrealistic. However, you get the idea.

This much.

I don't think it's that easy to quantify. And I think the amount of pressure relates to other factors too, like your age, where you work, or your social circle. Like, my sister has a friend who expects her to always be dressed up when they go out. My female friends, on the other hand, don't care.

100psi

yes, i think both are unrealistic, and the pressures on men and women are equally damaging. it's hard for anyone who doesn't fit the mold.

for a woman it's not just pressure to be pretty but also to act agreeable, and pressure to be successful in your relationships.

I don't really wish to be pretty, so I don't feel any pressure, there.

i've always felt a lot of pressure, but it could have been more from family background/abuse than the greater society itself. when i was a teenager i literally wished to be beautiful more than *anything* in the world. my self-esteem was completely tied to physical standards. i had a lot of other things going for me, but they were meaningless. therapy took me far away from that, but i definitely still struggle in that regard.

I personally don't feel much pressure to feel pretty, but if you asked the majority of women my age if they need to be pretty the number would be quite high (over 80%, if I had to make an educated guess). This pressure is much worse if a woman wants to regularly date and be in relationships, since most men judge a woman first by her appearance.

This is one reason why I recommend schizoid personality disorder for everybody...lol.


It's the only Dx I have which i'm actually happy about. For one thing....i'm essentially indifferent to the criticism or praise of others. In the part of the country I live in at least, there's plenty of pressure on males to look "nice" or "handsome" too. I often wear the same clothes ( I usually wear T-shirts, shorts, or jeans when it's colder here in the subtropics) for days, or even weeks, on end. I don't sweat much, because I don't spend alot of time outside in the heat and humidity right now. I don't do too many other things either which would make my clothes dirty and/or stinky. I always wear deodorant, but I don't take showers everyday and sometimes I don't get a shower for over a week. Nobody, including family, has ever told me that I smell although everyone frowns upon the fact that I don't take showers/change clothes on a regular basis. I really just don't see the importance of it and I never have. I rarely get sick as opposed to many people I know who take two showers a day. Mabye i'm more immune to germs than alot of people because i'm not constantly trying to sanitize my own body and everything else. It should be said that I always wash my hands after using the bathroom though. Obviously there are practical health-related concerns for myself and others involved in doing so.

Needless to say....alot of people (surely quite a few on here as well) find this sort of behavior disgusting, uncivilized, etc...but I just can't force myself to care what they think and don't even know why I should. I'm basically indifferent to sex and romantic relationships too, so it's not as if i'm motivated to look "nice" in order to attract the opposite sex. In fact....I find that dressing sloppy, or at least ordinary, causes alot of people to ignore you while looking "nice" attracts attention. I prefer to be ignored...as i've often said...I would walk through this world invisible if I could. I've lately been wearing this Pitt university T-shirt shirt someone bought for me and that alone attracts too much attention. Strangers (especially males ofcourse) always come up to me while i'm wearing it and ask me if i'm a Pitt panthers fan. I couldn't care less about football or sports in general and people just assume that I do because i'm wearing the stupid shirt. They even start talking to me about college football, certain players, etc....and I immediately, though politely, shut them down. Alot of men always do that to me regardless and I find it pretty annoying I feel like there's also alot of pressure on men in this country to like sports. Alot of men start thinking you're gay or "weird" in some negative way if you don't.

So....I suppose most people view me as an eccentric, a creep, a slob, etc.


I would be in heaven if this was the only thing that troubled me in my life. That is to say....it doesn't trouble me at all. I've never understood the importance of turning the human body into a work of art or some aesthetically-pleasing entity. There are plenty of aesthetically pleasing things in the world and it takes too much time, effort and expense to make the human body one of them. Like any other creation, it should only be undertaken because the INDIVIDUAL WISHES to look a certain way. Not because some abitrary societal norm demands it. Art should be something created in accordance with one's will. It should not be created out of any fear and shame of peer/societal disapproval. It is this sort of idiotic societal and psychological tyranny which contributes to, if not causes, disorders like Anorexia nervosa.


"Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law." —AL. I. 40

"thou hast no right but to do thy will. Do that, and no other shall say nay." —AL. I. 42–3

"Every man and every woman is a star." —AL. I. 3

"There is no god but man.

1. Man has the right to live by his own law—
to live in the way that he wills to do:
to work as he will:
to play as he will:
to rest as he will:
to die when and how he will.
2. Man has the right to eat what he will:
to drink what he will:
to dwell where he will:
to move as he will on the face of the earth.
3. Man has the right to think what he will:
to speak what he will:
to write what he will:
to draw, paint, carve, etch, mould, build as he will:
to dress as he will.
4. Man has the right to love as he will:—
"take your fill and will of love as ye will,
when, where, and with whom ye will." —AL. I. 51
5. Man has the right to kill those who would thwart these rights".

A huge pression generally. This may be measured by frequntly heard sentences like: "She is beautiful and also intelligent" or (which doesn't change much): "She is intelligent and also beautiful".

I find that there's nearly as much societal pressure to be "intelligent" too. Like "beauty"...there is little or no objective definitions of "intelligence". Like beauty again...the individual only has a limited amount of control over their "intelligence". We can't even necessarily blame the implicit belief in free will (though I believe it can be blamed for alot of other things which are beyond the scope of this thread) for either of these societal pressures. After all...most rational people.... including the ones who disparage others for not being "beautiful and/or intelligent" in their eyes...realize these things are largely, if not wholly, determined.

Most women judge a man on his ability to protect/provide as well.


I noticed the quality of women that were interested in me went up the more muscle I put on....sad but true.


I will assume the same for a career.


So, it really is a double edged blade

Yep, you'd think they'd take into consideration how much time you've spent in the gym and how much money you've wasted on gym membership and how those muscles are not likely to last once you get yourself a full-time job.



Yes, I've noticed that a girl, first and foremost, has to be "hot." Otherwise, it doesn't matter how smart it is, how nice she is, how well she sings, or how good she is at fixing cars... she just doesn't count.