Sometimes I am so happy to be AS

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When the ecstasy of logical realisation, or the pleasure from indulging my pet interest to a high level of achievement, the joyful innocence of exploring nature with the curiosity of a child.....

So what if I dont fit in socially. Big deal. So what. The upside far outweighs the downside for me. I am very very happy unto myself. My secret is I have accepted my difference and dont try to 'fit in' with NT conventions or norms.

From what I see here on WP, those aspies who have gotten over wanting to be NT, have accepted their AS and let go, seem to be much happier and content with their

'disability' ??

I will relate a story that I heard a long time ago, you may have heard some version of it at some point. A long time ago, there were two men walking along a path in the woods. Now they were monks of an eastern order, an older man and a younger man, and as such they were not supposed to have any contact with women. Now as they were walking they came upon a flowing river, and there at the edge of the river was a young woman who had no way to get across. The two monks stopped at the river, and the woman asked them if they would please assist her across the river. The younger monk turned his head so as not to look at her and waded across the river, while the older one picked the woman up and carried her across to the other side, where he set her down again on the river bank and proceeded on his way.

Now the two men walked along in silence, the younger monk the whole while seething inside with indignation, but not saying anything. Some time passed, and finally he could contain himself no longer and burst out "I can't stand it! You're an elder monk. How could you carry that woman across the river?" And the older monk smiled, turned, and said "Well, that was a half hour ago that I set the woman down on the bank of the river. You, however, are still carrying her."

If it hadn't ruined all my relationships beyond the superficial ones, including my marriage, I might be able to see positives in it. As it is, I don't see anything positive about it at all.

~Kate

It takes two to screw it up, Kate.
Unless one is screwing outside it.

I believe that forgivness is it's own reward. It frees up energy and creativity, it allows us to move on. Have you ever noticed that when you finally let something go you are free to let go of the pattern completely?

As you allow forgiveness you allow motion. Now the big question is; can we allow this same information when it comes to ourselves? Can we allow ourselves our own self-forgiveness whenever we make a mistake or learn a lesson? Do we have limits to how many times we can forgive ourselves or others? Again, it helps to remember that forgiveness has a lot to do with letting go, not holding on to those mistakes, and learning the lesson, letting go so you can move on. It's a spiritual ability, grounding and neutrality can assist with validating your own unique ability to forgive. So that you're not carrying the weight of all the many mistakes or learning experiences you've created. And forgiveness doesn't mean denying your body's emotions or experience, it's simply about releasing and letting go, allowing things to fall away. So that you can begin anew, in the present.

Who are you having a hard time forgiving? What is it that you're holding on to? How heavy is that burden. Wouldn't it feel great to let it fall away, to finally end the conflict? As you release what no longer works for you, you can get in touch with your own truth, and as you do that, you can create what works for you now.

You are free partake of the field of infinite possiblity.

You sure you should have Spock as your avatar?
I'm thinking you're more like Rhinox.... (Beast Wars)


Or the Sphinx (Mystery Men)

I think it is a safe bet that an INT; J or P ; " introverts" would at least have an easier experience with it.

I'm INTJ and just a little positive social interaction suffices for me at any given day but I can also live without it if need be.

There are some here who are probably extroverts from reading their posts, who seem desperately want to have a near typical social experience, and I do indeed feel that pain even at my computer.

From my visit here I've found diagnosed examples of such ones that have adapted and have attained at least a reasonable measure of contentment. They are able to work that suites their special interest and some are even married.

Level of impairments, comorbids, environment, personality and hence 'adaptability' play a significant role in finding a niche to work out of.

http://www.paulcooijmans.com/asperger/a ... rized.html
http://www.paulcooijmans.com/asperger/s ... erger.html

Thanks for posting this topic and the story. I am not a perfect human being and I used to struggle with that quite a lot when I was younger. I was more socially anxious about how I was perceived. When I started to think I had AS, at first I was upset that I could have been "cursed" from birth. But then started to see that there are so many others who have also been "cursed". Could I be this way for a reason? I think AS is why I am the way I am and why I am the where I am. Not perfect or in a perfect place, but better off than if I did not have it.

I don't try to fit anymore. I'm odd. I'm strange. People who don't like me don't like me, but there are people who do. I am much happier accepting my life as it is. It's daily challenge to maintain the attitude but it becomes easier over the months.

Nice to meet another positive person.

Welcome.

I'm also happy to be an aspie, as well. I love my quirks, and my differences. I love my own company. I love my creative edge. I love my accent. I enjoy being different. I'm happy, and I enjoy life.

Meow101, I can tell you exactly what mistake you've been making - and it's been the same one each time. You've tried to form relationships with people who aren't interested in reciprocity if it involves any effort on their part at all. Sadly, the only advice I can offer at this point is to keep an eye out for those who will actually try to understand someone who differs from them fundamentally.

However, it's not your fault, any more than it's a paraplegic's fault that he can't run the Boston Marathon. Some of the people in your life have simply demanded something of you which you are not capable of providing, due to your neurology. You are not responsible for their expectations. It's not an easy thing to assimilate into your worldview, but trust me, if you can manage it, it'll make your life much easier. Make them responsible for their own reactions, rather than trying to own those yourself, because trying to make people react the way you'd like them to is exhausting.

And who knows, maybe then you can find someone who appreciates you for who you are, Asperger's and all (my wife likes the fact that I don't have pretense, and she doesn't have to spend time trying to figure out what I "really mean" all the time).