Are autistics "mean"?

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My parents always say that when I was a little kid, I had a "chip on my shoulder". My parents also say that if you took it personaly, I was a "very mean baby". I think my parents have even said that the "chip on my shoulder" thing was the reason other kids were so mean to me. I don't know, it seems that would make other kids want to avoid me like the plauge in fear that I would hurt them physically. My parents also say that kids were mean to me because I "wasn't very easy to get along with" and that the teachers were emotionaly abusive becuase I "gave them a hard time". Basicaly my parents blame me for the bullying and I'm bascialy used to that mindset by now. Anyway, it got me wondering; are autistics often "mean"?

Not mean, but I was a very quiet baby.

I think there's a tendency to interpret autistic behavior as mean.

I agree.

And there is a disconnect between what is felt inside and what is projected outside because so many of the buffers are not there.

The padding of conversation, the easing into making a statement, the fluffery of language - missing. Instead there may be a straight point, concise and spoken, that is shocking to the recipient. The recipient (if NT) then feels insulted rather than appreciating the economy of words, concise speech.

I'm guilty of this but have also been on the receiving end of it by even more blunt aspies and have to admit I felt it was rude until I thought about it more and understood.

Our lack of empathy can make us seem mean. Telling the unfiltered truth to questions doesn't help either. We're not mean, but as kids we inadvertently do mean things.

My mother(when she could make it) stayed in teachers conferences concerning my behavior. I was considered a "bad kid" during my early childhood. I remember hearing distinctly "look at that bad little boy" as i played in my neighborhood. I was always doing something and saying off the wall stuff to people older than me.

TheSunAlsoRises

My mum always tells me how horrible I supposedly am to people, including herself. Weird thing is, I'm rarely, if ever, intentionally horrible to my mum, so I have no idea why she thinks my behaviour towards her isn't acceptable. Oh well.

I'm not a mean person at all. I'm actually a very sweet person.

I'm sure that my average demeanor comes off as stern and cynical to a lot of people.

I used to tease other kids growing up and did stuff to get a reaction out of them. I also used to get even with my brothers when they make me mad and I was very mean to my little brother when I was four and five. I was also bossy and things had to be my way. I also abused my mother she said because I would hit her and stuff when I was in 6th grade and I did it again in my teens. I even went through a small phase where I choke my brother or squeeze his face.


Today I am considered mean by my thoughts and opinions and how I view the world or what I say.

I think I am perceived either as sweet, or a total b***h, and nothing in between. People idealize me as being very nice, because I'm usually very quiet and polite. Then when I inevitably say something blunt or tactless, or worse have a meltdown, they decide I'm a horrible person.

I've been told that I'm intimidating.

Your parents need a reality check or a good slap in the face. Sorry. PMDD, emotions running rampant. But really it wasn't your fault or anyone's fault to be bullied.

People have at times called me rude when I've said something without realising how insulting it could be.
I think I got stubborn a lot but mostly my mum was over protective. Still kind of is now that she accepts my diagnosis.

Most times people tell me I'm sweet. In fact someone was comparing the sweetness of my cat to me.

I used to tease other people to because my older brother and sisters did. I didn't even know what half of I was saying meant. We used to have a dog that had seizures and I used to mimic him for a laugh and now that I know what was going on in that poor dogs brain I feel horrible. It's weird though because though I made jokes about it I prayed for that dog to get better.

I have been told many things about myself and I have surmised that people's opinions of what kind of person I am are highly dependent on their perspective and not necessarily empirical evidence.

By highly intelligent coworkers, friends, and family members, I have been called intimidating.

By persons of average intelligence in the same aforementioned social groups, I am often called cold.

By stupid people, I am thought to be unilaterally b*tchy.

I am exactly the same, behaviourally speaking, around every single person with whom I interact so I can only surmise that personal experiences and intellectual abilities of the other person are of paramount importance in forming their opinion of me.

As far as being mean, I'm not this way at all. Revenge and retaliation aren't dishes best served cold; they are best not served at all. I avoid people who would put me in a situation where being mean is appropriate.

As far as the way people take me, I tend to intimidate people too. Although sometimes being intimidating is a defensive mechanism, I can do it without intending to. Years ago, I called one of my employees into my office--a young girl. Something came up that I had to attend to immediately, so she sat there for a few minutes while I worked. By the time I had finished, she was shaking with tears running down her face. And I had called her in to praise her work!

Being able to put on different "faces" in different social situations is what the psychologists call a persona--personae plural. I'm guessing a lot of aspies lack these skills; we only have one way of coming across to people.

As far as I know, I am not perceived as mean.

OMG - me too. All of the above