Does anyone else feel like this?

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I've always had an approach to the world as not caring what happens to me, but rather why. I mean, of course no one WANTS to be bullied, or hurt. The thing is, I could get over pretty much anything someone did to me, as long as I knew why they did it. I figure if someone would tell me why they felt I deserved what they did, or what made them do it, I could forgive them. I do have a naive side where I want to believe people can be good, that they want to be good people. On the other hand, I know from experience that it just doesnt seem likely that people have consciences anymore. Until I came across this website and even just the information on aspergers being a diagnoses and its traits, I always wondered what was so "wrong" with me. Now I havent been diagnosed with AS or any other autistic or PDD YET, Im still working up the courage to tell someone my suspicions. Im in the military so that makes it pretty difficult, as well as a few other life situations Im stuck in presently. My question to you all is, do you put more emphasis on why things happen, instead of what happened?

I'm new, but yes, I feel like that all the time. I always wonder why people do the things they do. In fact, a situation involving a gal I was dating at the time is what caused me to question why, and resulted in my "discovery" of AS a few weeks ago. (She "didn't have feelings" but at the same time I had "qualities that interested" her...which made no sense to me, because I don't think that way...and because of the unanswered questions I had, I ended up discovering WHY I don't think that way, and explaining most of the other oddities I have had my entire life! So what she did was a mixed blessing.)

emp is right. People are somewhat random, even those of us who think through just about everything we do. Go rent or buy the movie "What The Bleep Do We Know" on DVD and pay attention to the part about the chemistry of emotion...many, if not most people are addicted to their own neuropeptides (the chemicals that cause feelings) because of behavioral conditioning (either internal or external), so they create situations that make no sense one way or another because it's how they get their emotional "fix" (my paraphrase). They don't even know that's why they do what they do unless they put some forethought into it. That's the only way I can make sense of why people do what they do if it doesn't make sense to me: "Oh, he/she's probably a brain-chemical addict. He/she did X because it gave him/her Y feeling." That little explanation has really helped me personally bypass endless obsession over behavioral questions.

Try to find something else to think about. I know that's easy to say, because it's something I'm still trying to figure out, myself...

Sometimes I don't know why some people do some things to me that aren't very nice at school, but I figure that if I just stop and keep looking at a particular situation, you will be hanging on to that situation and constantly thinking upon what you could have done better. On the other hand, I take every relationship with another and make it a learning experience, so it's good to learn from mistakes. It's good to learn from mistakes as long as you don't dwell on them too much, which make some people emotionally sick. I'm still learning from this, but this is what I've learned so far; it turns out to be an extremely hard task. I'm not saying that you shouldn't just not care about your friends, but it's good to always have a caring place for them, since it takes someone to be a friend in order to gain friends. I think that sometimes someone may do a particular action because of hurt, hard spot, or scar that they once had, and may take it out on lots of people that they know. Again, I'm still learning about this subject everyday, and it's still hard for me to cope with sometimes.

Sometimes people can say and do stuff that can be quite nasty and, in many cases there is no need for this nastiness. Some people are just horrible and I can only conclude that people like this enjoy being horrible. If you try finding a reason for why the are nasty, you will always be thinking about it instead of letting it go which, ultimately, this is how these nasty people want you to feel and then they have actually won. You just have to accept that some people are sick and horrible, easier said than done I know, but thats what you have to do.