Here's a great quote from this forum that I think would work as a title. I don't know who originally wrote it on here, but I wish I could thank them. I've been mentioning this quote to my friends, who find it hilarious--it's both innocuous and blatant at the same time.
Don't Make Eye Contact While Eating a Banana
And sub-title it something like "Life lessons I've learned".
(If you don't use it, I will.)
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Dum vita est, spes est.