How did you feel about being diagnosed?

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Hi guys!
I'm not a fellow aspie, but not a clueless NT either.

My younger brother was diagnosed with AS 6 years ago, when he was 12, and he took it pretty hard. Had we known earlier, many things could/would have been different - and maybe a lot of the bullying he experienced at school could have been prevented.

On the other hand - after learning about the syndrome, my brother became really interested in psychology, and started reading everything he could find about autism in general. Problem is, he is overidentifying with what he reads.. Example: he read that many young children with Asperger syndrome suffers from oral hypersensitivity, and thus, finds brushing teeth painful. He read in to it that he should stop brushing his teeth altogether, since "It's the Asperger thing to do", according to himself.


To me, he admits that he "uses" the diagnosis as an excuse at times, - which makes me wonder.. what if he had been a little bit older when he was diagnosed? Like I mentioned, I'm not a NT - I'm bipolar II, and have ADHD and nonverbal learning disabilities. I was diagnosed 4 years ago, when I was 21.

I see both advantages as well as disadvantages at getting diagnosed as an adult. I was better able to accept the diagnoses - and also, I never had the opportunity to use my different diagnoses as an excuse, - I had to take responsibility of my own actions and my own life. But, I also had to grow up thinking that I was a bad person; (a bad friend, daughter, sister, employee etc..) as well as always feeling like I didn't fit in anywhere.



At what age were you guys diagnosed, and how did you react? Relief, happiness, anger, sadness, denial..?

Do you think things would have been different, had you found out at an earlier/ later point in life?

Well hello from the US state of California.

For the most part, since I was diagnosed, I accepted myself as being in the very mild part of the spectrum. Where I am at, NT- ness is only a few blocks away.

There was days, that I felt that I was mishandled and misdiagnosed as a toddler. Mom told me the reasons I got checked was because, well, I was a "very late talker" and my hyperactivity in the classroom.

Then again, I remember a time when I couldn't tie my own shoes. No matter how many times my mom told me, I never could. I was finally able to tie them out of nowhere at age 11.

Reasons for doubting my diagnosis is, well.

I could be social with the Special Needs students I was placed with (left Special Needs in year 6/ sixth grade). Anyways, there was only one other Aspie in that class, who was more severe on the spectrum and the rest had ADD, ADHD and learning disorders.

The only ASD symptoms I ever showed were : inability to tie a knot, inability to form sentences before age 3-4, sensitive hearing, mild disliking of being hugged (all gone now since age 10), and disliking the idea of moving the furniture around. I said my first word at age 1, but could not form phrases and stuff until age 6, which by then I was diagnosed a year earlier.

I heard it is possible for someone to show a few AS traits and still be considered NT, provided that social skills are either affected mildly or not at all.

To answer your question,
The fact that I am autistic was known before I was professionally diagnosed. My language development was delayed, I was stimming and friendships were hard to develop even as time passed by.
I was diagnosed as a teenager when the diagnosis of autism became "approved of" in my country, and it came as a great relief. I experience occasional meltdowns which are very hard to get out to and explaining to others that I am autistic, and if others are willing to do reasearch on it, is also a great relief.
I could then attend a high school for autistics which improved my life immensely. I skipped school when I went to a regular high school and was bullied all the time, I was very stressed and because of that I couldn't even express myself verbally...
This doesn't mean that I will think of using it as an excuse for inconsiderate or selfish behavior. I will not do such things on purpose. I am very sensitive to sound and have a very hard time understanding gestures, sarcasm, and irony, and have to analyze a lot of information from socializing each day. If I become immensely confused and act very "strangely" then afterwards, I can provide people with an explanation which makes them understand me better and therefore, they will know that I am very literal for instance or that I can't handle certain things because I will feel very unhealthy and awful because of something. Just because sensory overload would be my natural reaction to something which over-stimulates me, be it a big crowd of people, high humidity, or a lot of different sounds/lights.

Your brother might be experiencing a phase. Many teenagers and children, whilst developing their perception of social interactions, also go through a period of such behavior to test limits of other people (and various other reasons), etc. Perhaps you misunderstood him or he didn't express himself well enough, but I could speculate that he is simply discovering new aspects of thinking and application of thoughts. I think you could advise him on that, say, if he really isn't naturally sensitive to toothbrushes, then it means that this trait doesn't apply to him.
Sensory sensitivity and autism are related to each other because, in a nutshell, it is the "wiring" of the neural nets that is responsible for nervous response and therefore sensory sensitivity. Depending on the variation, some people are sensitive to light, some are sensitive to sound, some are sensitive to touch, and some experience sensitivity towards all of the above. That is why he can have Asperger's without being sensitive to teeth brushing. I suggest mentioning this to him.

I was officially diagnosed at age 22, but I was told I probably had Asperger's by a mental health professional at age 13.


When I was actually diagnosed my reaction was simple "I'm not broken!". I'd actually been afraid it was going to come back saying I wasn't autistic, and in my mind I was going to either be told I was autistic, or that I was a broken neurotypical. Relief and developing of a special interest in ASDs were the other major responses.

When I found out at age 13, my response was primarily curiosity. I accepted it. I didn't actually believe I was disabled, but I did agree that I was neurologically different. I didn't realize how different I was. It wasn't until a lot of research (post diagnosis), that I actually was able to learn how many things I thought were normal weren't. I did research, but didn't go all out like I have now. I didn't use it as an excuse at all.


I know someone who wasn't diagnosed, and heard about Asperger's in college. He immediately started using it as an excuse, despite being college age when finding it out. In that case being older didn't at all mean less excuses given.


If I found out later, my mental health probably would have been even worse than it is. I found out around times of bullying, and a diagnosis of social anxiety. I was diagnosed after a mental health crash post grandparents deaths and, well, that person who wasn't diagnosed emotionally abusing me.


I think I'd have developed coping skills earlier if I'd have known earlier, or at least been diagnosed earlier. If I was diagnosed at 13, rather than only had it identified in me, I'd have probably not ended up in very different circumstances, but probably had more ways to cope with sensory issues than I do now.

Hi, and thank you for replying!

I actually don't think I misunderstood my brother; we are exeptionally close - and being "different" has brought us even closer. The toothbrush-thing was just an example, though ( it was a phase he had when he was 15-17) - it's usually a new "thing" every 3-4 months, like not being able to eat cheese unless it's been cut with a certain grater.. - and after a while - he'll move on to another "thing" - and no longer minding the things he previously detested.

The thing about me and him is that there are no stupid questions, and we're both open and honest with one another - even though it might be embarrasing or difficult, we always talk about everything. A couple of years ago, he recieved cognitive therapy, which was been a great help - he was a lot happier and feelt more in control as he learned to "look at the same thing from both the left and the right" as he puts it. When we're one-on-one he will often talk to me about the things that he and his therapist would talk about. Unfortunately, this great therapist, whom my brother really liked, was only available temporarily - and there really hasn't been anyone who could kind of "get through" to him like that since (which was another reason as to why I got my education in this field)...

Hi! So (if you don't mind me asking) - you mentioned a few signs of ASD that you once showed.. Has there been no further "signs" since then?

Hi! The whole "I'm not broken"-thing I can really relate to. It's never JUST good or bad to get a diagnosis - I for one use the knowledge I've gained of my neuroAtypical-ness to my advantage. I know what things I should probably steer clear of, and find it a little bit easier to forgive myself when I make a social no-no..

Everybody reacts to a DX differently. For most of us adults, finally being diagnosed was a relief and helped us understand ourselves. I wish I could have been diagnosed when I was a child, but that didn't happen, so I don't worry about it. But today I use my DX to understand who & what I am, and move forward with my life.

Your brother needs to take responsibility for who he is and not use Aspergers as an excuse to slack off things. Part of his reaction may just be his age and immaturity (18?), so he could grow up some and get a better handle on things.

My reaction to being diagnosed was one of "it's about time," as I had suspected some form of Autism for 10 or 12 years. So it was a relief because it explained why I acted the way I did. I finally knew I wasn't just "weird," because I did things not by choice, but because that's the way my brain was wired. Now I'm able to control my world better but avoiding things that I know will cause trouble, and seeking out things that are positive (example: I avoid group situations where I know I will feel uncomfortable and have a difficult time). The result is I can make choices and NOT feel guilty about them. It has also helped my friends & family understand why I behave the way I do, and not have them expecting me to act a certain way in a situation when they know I will react differently.

In my case, other than the monetary cost, getting my diagnosis was actually just a good thing. Being autistic in the first place, not just good or bad, but having it identified in me and diagnosed has only helped.

However, I have m own sets of traits that aren't everyone that are part of why its like that for me.

Ictus 75: It's really a shame that Asperger syndrome was finally recognized in 1994 - I think life would have been a lot easier for many undiagnosed people - and for their loved ones.

I've always loved my brother - but reading up on Asperger syndrome made me love him even more. It breaks my heart that things other people take for granted, like making friends, or just smalltalk for that matter, or understanding social cues - are things my brother struggles with, and desperately wants to learn.

I'm with you on the whole "using the diagnosis as an excuse"-thing - which is why I might give him a little bit of "tough love" from time to time - but it's like you said - he needs to take responsibility - we all do. He's starting to accept that now, seeing as how I never let any of the challenges that kind of "comes with the territory" of having ADHD (like having NO attention-span whatsoever..) stand in my way. I will never let any diagnosis define me - and I hope my brother will reach the same conclusion.

I was diagnosed at 6 - 1969. I had an idea already I was different.
When I was tested they said I was autistic. Autistic was just a new word and only crated a question.

I went through life not really know why I was and did things. I knew language was part and having trouble interacting with others. but not any details.. I knew I was different, but couldn't really say how most of the time.

Most of what I learned before the Internet was of low functioning autism and I questioned being autistic because I was nothing like low functionin, but yet some of the poorly described documentation give details that seemed foggy clear I was like them in some ways.

The absolute worst was knowing I had a very high IQ but was very dumb at the same time.

Everyone on this site has helped me so much to understand myself. For the first time in my life I am not refereing to myself as a freak.

That is quite cool. I was diagnosed at about the same age, though some 20-25 years later, i nthe early '90s. I don't even remember much of life before my diagnosis. Autism was pretty much a part of me from about the same time I started getting a deeper understanding of the world around me.

"It's about time!"

I would elaborate, but I'm getting really tired right now and about ready to sign off.

Maybe later at some point, but I can't promise. i have ADD too, and weird way of navigating around here, so I loose track of some threads.

There is some information on the blog in my profile though, if you're interested in knowing more. Can't remember right now how much detail is there.

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

Those were all the Symptoms I showed ever. Those signs are either now gone, or less of an issue.

And no, I don't remember having a sensitive mouth, ever. And I never had the need of a special diet. Had a good amount of gluten and milk, and I did fine.

I was diagnosed with Asperger's when I was 28. I felt very relieved to have an explaination for my social difficulties and many things in my life in general.

I have pretty much always known something was different about me. As a teenager, I used to worry that I really had an intellectual disability (mental retardation) but that no one was telling me. I used to feel confused, I guess, because I knew that my grades were good, yet I felt like I secretly had MR. (Which, by the way, I realize was a result of me being socially and emotionally delayed. My intelligence is actualy fine.)

I was diagnosed with Autism at the aged of 4 although later on got diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome at the aged of 11 but always knew that i was different from everybody else related the world differently as well. I didn't know much about my diagnosis as i didn't know a lot about it however once i understood it i just got on with it.