Finally someone sees my lack of empathy.

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So, today I had to do a "mock counselling session" for uni (psychology), where I was videorecorded interviewing a fellow student on a real issue of theirs . She had to give me a feedback form rating how I went with particular skills. She gave me a 4/10 for "how well did the counsellor show empathy".

I'm just feel relieved that someone at last has recognised that I'm not so great at cognitive empathy. Most of the time if I ever talk about it I get the old "aww no, you're fine!" response which I know isn't true and it gets a bit annoying.

Thankyou, fellow student, for being honest with me.

If there is any great secret of success in life, it lies in the ability to put
yourself in the other person's place and to see things from his point of view -
as well as your own.

- Henry Ford

4/10 isn't bad! I'd say most NTs locked in a strange environment with an actor might get a similar mark.

Don't worry. Lack of empathy is a core trait of AS. 4/10 isn't really that bad compared to some of us. My scores on empathy tests are consistently lower than that.

No it isn't. A "lack of social reciprocity" and having problems "reading people" is NOT a lack of empathy.

As big a difference between being a bad driver and actually hitting people on purpose while driving. Aspies are not sociopaths.


Learn the damn difference and stop spreading this BS!

THANK YOU! I have a lack of social reciprocity, and I rarely EVER get excited when people say stuff like, "OMG, I just got a NEW BOYFRIEND!" and these of Facebookesque caliber, yet I can read people and show concern for others fine...I hope I'm not offending anyone if this sounds like bragging....

The researchers who have bothered to divide empathy into two groups - cognitive (awareness and understanding of the emotions and feelings of others) and affective (appropriate response to another's mental state) - tend to find deficits in the cognitive but not the affective empathy in those with AS. There may be a better way to define empathy but that's the way it's usually defined at the moment.

I would say "reading people" is similar to understanding people's emotions. Would you see it as something different Ichinin?
Lacking in empathy /= sociopath. Sociopaths lack empathy but have other issues that lead to sociopathic behaviour.

4/10 isn't bad, true, but it is below 50% and I'm just glad someone is willing to tell me that, rather than being all nice about it.

The professional literature does claim a lack of empathy as derived from the "lack of theory of mind" theory. It's not that people are misinformed, it's part of what the 'experts' consider the dominant theory of what ASD's are. If you have complaints about it, rant at people like Baron-Cohen (Mr. "mindblindess") who invented the notion.

You're confusing empathy with sympathy. Empathy is the ability to imagine oneself in someone else's shoes, sympathy is caring about what happens to them. People with AS don't lack sympathy, we just find it difficult to understand other people's intentions and motivations, therefore lack empathy.

The AS expert who diagnosed me explained it like this: if you have AS and you see someone get hit by a car, you feel terrible and worry that they could be hurt, but you might not be able to understand why they stepped out into the road in the first place.

Maybe I am being misunderstood, and am getting some flak for this. By no means do I suggest that people with AS are sociopaths. Antisocial personality disorder is a whole different DX. I notice all the people who have a problem with the "lack of empathy" concept are undiagnosed. When I was diagnosed, one of the traits shown was a lack of feelings (I can't find a better word for it) towards others. It is a consistent pattern of not reciprocating feelings and experiences of others. It is presumed important enough to be in the DSM: in no way does it reflect on a persons character or worth as an individual. I hope this clears things up a bit.

Critical opinions on the lack of theory of mind/empathy issue aren't some rare thing exclusive to non-officially-dx'ed people. Here's a paper by researchers proposing an alternate theory of autism, which is basically the opposite of the notion of an inherent lack of empathy:

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2518049/

And here's a long, in-depth thread that touches on some of that issue.

http://www.wrongplanet.net/postp1510470.html#1510470

Yes. A lack of social reciprocity.

And btw: Tony Atwood agrees:
http://www.wrongplanet.net/postp3085961.html

No i am not.

I have empathy, i understand that other people have feelings. Basically most normal people seem to lack this understanding, they blurt out stupid and uninformed things such as "All aspies are stalkers" and "Autists are all mass murderers-bound to happen".

I can empathise with everyone, i can understand the fact that even a rich person can hurt himself/herself and may need medical attention. I sympathise and feel for unemployed people, people who lost their homes in natural disasters/homeless people and wild animals who are starving, but i do not sympathise with stockbrokers, CEO's or people who whine about how much they are paying in taxes because they do not want to give everyone a shot at a decent life. I could not not care less if such people died of a heartattack or got mugged.

That is not what empathy is. Empathy is the ability to see another's person's feelings from their point of view. Many of us with AS are very sensitive to other people's emotional states, but we may not have the ability to see how we would feel if we were them. That's why we get ourselves into situations in which we may not realize that something we said could be taken the wrong way. We tend to see things logically rather than thinking, "Wait, if I say such and such the person could feel this and that." That in no way implies that we are sociopaths, just that we don't read people well. It does not imply that we are not sympathetic to other people's suffering.

Honestly, I have never heard anyone say that.

Isn't it a little black and white to assume that just because you have AS and have empathy, that everyone with AS has empathy too?

I know what I have problems with. I don't need anyone trying to tell -me- what my issues are. I lack empathy. I have my entire life! Only over the last few years has it actually started to develop and grow. Maybe by the time I'm in my 40's, it will be complete!

How do I know I lack empathy? Only recently have I thought how somebody else might feel if I did XYZ. I actually put myself in their shoes, and on that moment, I thought to myself, "Wow, I never used to think those things before!". I never experienced any empathy-like qualities until recently.

I'm not too great with sympathy, either, but I am by no means a monster. I just don't sympathize with a lot of people, but that doesn't mean I want to go out and start killing anyone either.