What should I do now? I can't get through to my mother.

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Hello there, I'm 14, and I first thought I had Asperger's when I was 12. I began researching Asperger's after reading an article in one of those 'true life' magazines about it.

It wasn't long before I was sure I matched pretty much all of the symptoms. I took the aspie 150 quiz, the pie palace quiz, the empathy quotient, systemizing quotient, mind in the eyes test, relationship quotient, an official IQ and an emotional intelligence test. I got AS for all of them.
I decided at the age of 13 to tell my mum of my suspicions. She told me it was all fine and she would sort it out for me. Weeks later she still hadn't done anything, or even mentioned it again. I gently reminded her, but she said "When I get round to it."
Then we moved house. I gave her time to settle in and get the furniture sorted out, then I reminded her again. She said I behave just like my older brother did, therefore I didn't have it. I was really stung by that, I thought she had just forgotten, but worse, she was in denial T

Then, weeks later, she told me that she told her friend, who is 100% sure I don't have anything 'wrong with me'. Now, every time someone mentions it, which they do sometimes, just in passing, she comes to me when I'm alone and said- "See, Caitlin. You're nothing like that."
I just nod glumly.

She hasn't mentioned it at all since, and now every time I say, oh I have crap social skills, or I'm so clumsy, she will say quickly "Nothing's wrong with you Caitlin."

I just don't know why she won't even try to research into it, she seems convinced that I'm HER daughter, and no daughter of hers could possibly have anything 'wrong' with her. I feel that she thinks that if you don't acknowledge a problem, then it isn't there. Wrong attitude!
Where do I go from here? Do I try and talk to her about it again? What do I say? Shall I write her a letter or something? Who else could I tell?
Or is there something I can do myself to take into my own hands? You see, I've just started at a new school and don't know anyone.

Or is anyone in the same situation? Or has anyone BEEN in this problem and solved it?
Opinions, advice or help with my situation please?

Thank you so much

I just found out that I have Autism, but I haven't told any one yet. I have a feeling my mom would react the same as yours did.

Is there someone at school you can go to, a counselor or social worker? Maybe your mother simply needs to hear it from a trained professional, who could also explain what options there are to make things better for you.

This is the best option you can come up with. But first of all, post your symptoms on this board and later print all the posts made in this thread of yours, your symptoms including and show it to the counselor. This is which I would have done if I was still at school. Your mother is in denial, just like mine (though I can't imagine mine sharing any suspitions of this sort with her friends , it's extremaly shameful in her eyes but it's not only about this - she thinks it would make people reject me if they knew and this is what she said to me about this once).

Hi
I'm 15 - but in your situation.
My mum's friends do believe I'm an aspie, however. (and one has an aspie boy)
There's no easy way out, I'm afraid.

That's why I want to grow up and help people like you.
But right now, I'm beginning to think that the longer I leave getting a diagnosis, the harder it will be later in life.

*sighs* one of my friends is so lucky - her dad's a high up in the medical world, so she got diagnosed at birth - but you can't tell she's an aspie.

By the way, If you decide to go to a councillor, make sure you can trust them. If you want, go to a teacher.
And come prepared - then don't just sit there staring at them - you have to get your point out there, and be brave.

Keep us updated

Do this

Thank you everyone for all your advice and replies
But I'm not entirely sure about who is the councillor at my school (I am the new girl ¬¬) or if we actually have a proper one. It doesn't help that I'm near terrified of the office people at my school- they're almost too friendly lol... I will try to do what I can, thanks again people

I am going to ask you a question. While obviously getting people to agree with your self-assessment would be very validating, and figuring out the label has helped many members here understand their life stuggles, you should consider what you hope to accomplish by having your mom and / or school officials agree with your self-assessment. As a parent, the only reason I seek or pursue a label is to GET something for my child, which in my son's case was an IEP and accommodations at school. If I do not believe there is anything to be accomplished, I forgo following up with the label, which is what my daughter and I are doing with respect to our suspicions on her ADD and / or mood issues. Labels will follow you for better or for worse for you whole life, and if you are not looking for a positive and necessary action to result from the label, sometimes it is just better to keep it to yourself.

All that said, I agree that speaking to a counselor at school would be the right move. But suspect one of the first things they will do is ask you the question I just asked: what do you want to accomplish from finding out for sure?

Beyond that, you should clarify to your mom that you don't think there is anything "wrong" with you, either, but do think you might be AS. After all, there is nothing "wrong" with being AS, any more than there is something wrong with having blue eyes instead of brown eyes. You are just asking your family to recogize that some things which they find easy may not be easy for you, and some things they find confusing may actually be crystal clear to you. AS is a term to define a unique set of differences.

Good news everyone!

Here's the story:

My aged 22 brother (who is a lot like me) was round our house earlier, and he told mum that he is pretty sure he has Asperger's, and after he has gone to London for his training course (next week), then he may go to the doctors to see if there is someone who can assess him. I jumped at this oppurtunity, and went straight in and said "Hey mum, will you take me? You know I think I have it too. Me and Chris are really similar."
Mum said that if my brother can get an assessment, and it goes ok, then she might take me!

This is a huge step.
Thank you so much to everyone who gave me advice on this, and I will keep you all posted on my progress.