what is it like to be an aspie?

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im autistic even though i don't have aspergers but one of my brothers has it

what is it like to have aspergers? like you're ahead of math, science and history in school and you're able to say full sentences and take place in conversations and quote movies but can't read people's faces, get angry often at little things (like homewoork or missing peper) and know everything yet have trouble with 'small' talk

It sucks. Squandered potential. Regret.

Like many things, it's hard to say what it's like when you have nothing else to compare it to. It just is.

first of all we arn't all ahead in subjects like that, personally i suck at maths, history and especially english, i have speech problems other then full sentances that i can do but i get my words mixed up or i mash both words im trying to say up into the same one, i guess it all depends on who you are really. in a way, socially its harder because people are sort of lured in by the fact that you may appear normal, yet arn't in reality at all to the point of being alienate


i return the question to you, whats it like on the other side?

For the most part, we just have the ability to do certain tasks really good, sometimes, and they happen to match the skills needed to do well on certain types of tests favored by educators and therapists. But for most of us that is balanced out by deficiencies elsewhere, sometimes quite severe, so really it's a push.

I've known aspies who are blindingly brilliant yet trapped & punished by their own minds. Many aspies tend to do that; we can't be soothed by anything we can out-think so we spend far too much time and effort not being happy.

AS is different for everyone so I would rather answer this as "What is is like being yourself with AS?"

For me it was growing up knowing I was different and not understanding why. I just knew I wasn't like the others and I didn't know why. I seemed to have bad luck. Lot of kids didn't like me, I was easily targeted, everyone thought I was weird or mean. I noticed how I got more upset than others and reacted more and I noticed how I played differently with stuff. I also noticed emotions and people getting upset but I didn't understand why they were upset and why they were saying stop and I didn't always process information correctly and I would always realize I misunderstood what someone told me like for example I was told I needed to leave this girl alone on the playground so I did. Days later I bothered her again and the duty lady came in and told my teacher she had told me to leave this girl alone and I had realized she didn't mean that day, she had meant forever. Oops I misunderstood. I also remember an incident where I thought these kids were trying to get me into trouble so I was in music and a girl raises her hand and the teacher goes "yes" and the kid said "Beth is laughing at Johnathon" and I said I was not. I thought the girl was lying to get me into trouble and Johnathon was giving me trouble so I kept looking at him and trying to ignore him and I get accused of laughing at him. I realize now they may have misread my facial expressions and I could have misread the situation. But I felt picked on and no one was protecting me and the kids were siding with the boy. And the time I was in speech therapy, my speech therapist asked me if she was happy and I look at her face and I don't see a smile or a sad face and a angry face, just a face so I assume she is happy. I keep saying yes when she keeps asking me if she is happy. I didn't look at the context of the situation.

But that is what it was like for me growing up. I didn't have a clue what was going on and I didn't understand why I would get in trouble for being picked on or for getting upset. I just figured I was supposed to let kids be mean to me and I do nothing and also if anyone upsets me, I just do nothing and don't get upset. I even noticed how each age group had their own rules and I had to keep learning from trial and error about the rules of being (insert age here).

I was just weird growing up and I had accepted by the time I was 14 that I'm weird, I'm different, there is nothing wrong with being different so I quit trying to be normal but I am still my best self. There is a difference.

My personal experience; I'm almost always unaware of myself, I have a hard time self monitoring and knowing when enough is enough. I want to socialize and be included but socializing is hard and I've been told that I'm just too awkward, talk too much and talk about inappropriate things. I cannot make eye contact- it's not something I naturally do, when I attempt to make eye contact I can't hear what they're talking about. I do not pick up on any facial expressions or body language. Talking is difficult for me and my words often get mixed up and people tease me for it, it feels like my mouth is full of peanut butter. Sensory input is intense for me, even my own voice is too much for my ears and it creates a echo affect. I frequently become overstimulated and shut down which feels like I'm in a dream and talking becomes even harder. Most of the time I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing. Also sonic makes me extremely happy.

That description may be right for your brother, but not for the majority of us (especially grown ups). I rarely get angry, i do know how to chit-chat (even though it bores me out of my skull), and i do know how to read peoples faces.

The only common features of the diagnosis is what is mentioned in DSM / ICD-10, the rest is just "personal quirks" that does not necesserely apply to everyone else.

I can't speak for all aspies because we are all different, but this is my experience. I also have ADD and GAD, so my experience includes those too.

My long-term memory is very good, I wouldn't call myself a savant if you tell me something then I will be unlikely to ever forget it and I also have a very good (albeit imperfect) memory for photos to the point where I have a limited ability to read from them. It certainly does come in handy because I almost never have to study for school and it's not hard to imagine how it comes in handy outside of school too. That's only cued recall though, my short-term memory is absolutely terrible and my ADD doesn't help. If I don't have the alarms on my phone or a list of some sort then I won't really be able to get much done because I will keep forgetting what I should be doing and if I do remember then I will quickly get distracted.

I do have a few natural talents, most notably with music because I have perfect pitch and what I'm told is a good singing voice. The problem is that I don't really care about music much so I am not exploiting it, and I wish that I could have been naturally talented at something I love like debate. I have a lot of learned skills though, but those are there mostly because of obsessiveness. I can solve a Rubik's Cube of any size very fast and if I hyper-focus on a computer problem then few forces in the universe can stop me from solving it (even though it often takes a long time). My main special interest is space travel so the things I obsess over are largely science and math related, so I end up learning a lot about that kind of stuff. I should probably not that although I have a lot of skill with math I am still generally rather slow at it.

Of course I also have the standard autistic traits, excluding meltdowns which I don't ever have as far as I know. I have sensory overloads, many sounds and textures drive me to wits end, I stim basically all the time, and so on. It's known as a form of autism for a good reason.

I started having major social issues with my peers around age 11, so that is where my story begins. Basically, they were maturing faster than I was and I got left behind. It sucks to want to have a social life, yet be so inept at socializing that you can never get there. Severe bullying added to the effect. I felt like I was trying to cross a large river that kept flowing faster and getting deeper the more I struggled with it. I basically gave up my social life to pursue my strong interests, even though I felt the loss of not belonging to any real group. The few friends that I had at the time were not really true friends, as they would sell me out in a heartbeat to rise in social rank if they could. That has lead me to tend to mistrust others until they prove what their role is in my life.

As for the other autism issues, I still have them but it was the social issues that stuck out at me looking into my past. I was almost held back in high school because the teachers felt that I had not matured enough, yet was capable of being ahead of my class by two to three years on most coursework given to me at the time. (English and foreign languages were the exceptions.) I was such a mix-match on things. They just did not know what to do with me. Remember, only classical autism was defined during this time period. So, I was left to struggle as is, knowing full well that I was always different than everyone around me for some reason, yet not knowing why.

I understand the issue about being able to think far and above what one can express to others. It is one of my curses that I have had to live with for a long time.

This part describes me. I was fine in social skills according to my medical reports but then when I got to 5th grade, they were poor all of a sudden. What changed? I remember in 4th grade, I started to fall behind my peers and they got ahead of me and I was left behind. I was still this little girl and I had a hard time relating to others and fitting in. I preferred younger kids. I know rules change, more expectations are there and I was lagging behind. Plus bullying was worse by 6th grade and I had a breakdown. When I got to 8th grade, I started to accept the fact I was different and feel good about it, I had no explanation for what was wrong with me. I just figured I was ret*d. I also never had true friends either. They would reject me and tell me to go away, they didn't stand up for me and followed the ring leader instead, they would tell on me to get me into trouble if I broke a rule. Plus I was abandoned by them because they moved on to other friends. I wanted to please people so this also left me vulnerable.

Its one of those things that you can't really explain, you need to have it to know what it truly feels like.

indeed, we also have nothing to compare it to, i have no idea what its like to be "normal" , for me this is normal, so its like trying to explain what normal is

For me, I am really poor at making small talk because it irritates me to no end, rigidly adhered to schedules and routines, have a fantastic long term memory but horrible short term memory, can't read social nuances well, have issues with showing (not feeling) empathy, am obsessive about certain things, and am sensitive to certain stimuli like flashing lights. There's a lot more to talk about, but this is a basic version of what I experience.

again, hard to explain. i atended the florida melbourne elementary for 6 grade and that was my last year, they hepled give me and my classmates more easier subject to understand of things, like math and science and reading. i was fairly good in science (biology animals) and really good in art and gym but they couldnt deal with my poorness in math and history and reading comprehension and my grades were a bit on a seesaw, gooder and badder. on a day in early may, all day i was screaming and headbannging!! ! i've always had trouble talking and couldnt make conversations or easily express my felings, but there was this diabetic allistic girl who loved silly and weird jokes and reading a book repkacing 'stripes' with a silly word and i couldnt stop laughing!! !!

but ive had other 'royal fits' as my old teacher called them, like hiding in a nearby bathroom and screaming because of no playing outside and i was hyper too (i also have adhd)

It seems like you're asking because you care about your brother. Because it sounds like it's pretty different for each person, maybe try asking him. If it's hard for him to talk about, ask if it would be easier if he wrote it to you in a note or email. Just ask him to write anything he thinks might help you understand him better. I'm 43 and I just found out I had it about a month ago, so I don't really know if I could answer that question yet, but maybe he could. Good luck and take care.