Mother blaming me and and punishing me for my fustration.

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As i know it is common for us aspies to get frustrated easily. Like other people on here when i get frustrated there are points where my whole body starts to shake and a lot of the time i try my hardest to control it and fight it, but sometimes it is just so stong that i can't fight it any more and have to let out all the energy and stress. Well turns out recently my mom has usually been blaming me and punishing me when i get into these episodes. I clearly tell her that i can't help it and that if i don't let the stress out something a lot worse could happen, such as possibly braking something to let out the stress or slamming a door. After telling her this she still didn't listen. She just doesn't understand how stressful it feels for me to try to hold the frustration in when it is really strong. I feel so helpless right now. Any advice on what i can do?

I actually do break things when i get that mad. but i break things that will be thrown out anyway. I also buy things when i am calm specificly for the purpose of breaking them when i am not. i am getting some balsa wood soon just so i can punce holes in it when i am mad.
the Auto club at my old school took out there frustration by hitting an old abandoned car with a large mallet or with other tools.(they took the glass out first so they would not be hurt)
I don't do any glass.

is there any area near you that is very private/soundproof. somtimes being able to scream lets out the worst of frustration

i don't know if this will help you though

A pillow is a pretty good suggestion. Thanks. I still don't know what to do about my mother though, there could be situations when were not home such as in the car and she can get me frustrated in their and i will have no way to be alone, and she will probably get mad at me when my frustration starts.

How long ago were you diagnosed with AS? Perhaps she can not relate if it was a while ago and some of your behaviors are changing as you are getting older. Some NT adults seem to think that people with various disorders do not experience the same frustrations or that their needs or behaviors change as they get older. Whether that is the case or not, could you perhaps go to the library and see if they have any books about AS that could explain your need to have a place to vent or a quiet place to unwind. That way it doesn't look like you are the one making these demands out of your imagination.

It seems this is really one of the hardest things for those who are not on the spectrum to understand. I am on a couple of parent groups (my son has HFA) and they will talk about resolving sensory issues and overloads through punitive measures which don't work. I don't have a formal diagnosis of AS but of OCD and sensory issues and for some reason it seems ingrained in NT thinking that these kinds of things are truly a matter of willpower and if the person can not control it than they are just not trying hard enough.

Muriel:
What you're saying is fairly typical. If you can, have your psychiatrist explain it to your mother. I've had the same thing all my life (and I'm way, way older than you), and my kid has it, so no one had to explain it to me, but some parents don't get that it's part of the whole thing. It might get better, it might not. Nothing to worry about either way. Just something to learn to handle. I take drugs for it. That doesn't work for everyone. And I'd never suggest that to anyone else. But a talk with the psychiatrist might help your mom.
Good luck.

I hate that too - oy! When your parents dont see that certain things are actually good coping methods and dont mean you're falling apart.

im so glad i play the drums

When I'm angry or frustrated, I usually play fantasy shooting games, like Doom or Duke Nukem. Walking around shooting the monsters tends to take the edge off for me.

I used to get really angry really fast and stay like that for ages when i was young.
But these days i pretty much don't lose my temper anymore at all.

Coping method stuff - so true.

maybe you should show her this site, and than she sould see the situation from an other angle...?

good advice bigsister, I wish my parents (especially my mother) had some idea what I was going through, to this day she still doesn't understand me, I'm now 37yrs. The unknown tends to freak alot of people out.

Yep, it sure does.

I don't think NTs ((That felt weird)) are unique to this either. Think about the relutance to change.

Fear of the unknown is probably innate.

It's a vicious circle which I can't be bothered to explain