Do high functioning autistics generally get along with...

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ApsieGuy
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09 Oct 2010, 8:22 am

Do autistics on the higher end of the spectrum(myself) generally get along with people better than aspies?


I ask this because I am able to get along with people at work at pick up on social cues at a less than average...but survivable rate.


Im wondering if aspies have this much ease...



b9
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09 Oct 2010, 8:38 am

i am on the threshold of HFA and AS, and it is not a matter of whether i get on with people. it is a matter of whether they get on with me.

i tend not to change what my instinctive responses to people are based on their requirements. i will respond and interact with people in the way that is instinctive to me.

most people consider me to be very strange when they first meet me, but most (70%) people eventually get used to me and rather like me after they are familiar with me (which takes about 2 months). i do not really know much about what is going on in their heads, but i think they reconsider their initial impressions about me after repeated exposure, and they relinquish their normal social expectations of me that they otherwise place upon normal people.

people that like me can see that i am extremely different and they accommodate my responses to them in a special way that they would not accord to average people.

some people are very rigidly set in their perceptions, and they see me as rude and aloof and snobbish, and they see me as snobbish because i never smile at them or become interested in what they say.

if someone can see past their rigid expectations and make allowances for me, then i will feel more comfortable with them and i will listen and sometimes smile and contribute to the interaction, and they feel nice about it and they like me.

but it remains the fact that everyone that likes me will say they know no one else remotely similar to me, and the people who do not like me just think i am an unfeeling and barren pr*ck.



Callista
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09 Oct 2010, 9:48 am

There's really not enough difference between classic autism and AS to say anything about whether either group gets along better with people. I guess the very extreme cases where you actually can't use language could present enough of a communication barrier to make it harder to get along with NTs; but they also stop you being judged by NT standards as those who can speak fluently often are.


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kx250rider
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09 Oct 2010, 10:16 am

My experience (I too am on the threshold, or I should say no doctor has stated one way or the other HFA vs. Asperger's), and I get along fine with anyone willing to get along with me. With that said, I find it easiest to get along with older people (retirement age), or with other non-mainstream or "unpopular" people. Very seldom did I find a person in the "In-Crowd" in school, who would give me the time of day. I think it's a superficial issue with those people. They need to be surrounded by others of the same ilk, and do not want to be surrounded by people who may not fit into a certain hole on the peg board.

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09 Oct 2010, 11:19 am

b9 wrote:
i am on the threshold of HFA and AS, and it is not a matter of whether i get on with people. it is a matter of whether they get on with me.

i tend not to change what my instinctive responses to people are based on their requirements. i will respond and interact with people in the way that is instinctive to me.

most people consider me to be very strange when they first meet me, but most (70%) people eventually get used to me and rather like me after they are familiar with me (which takes about 2 months). i do not really know much about what is going on in their heads, but i think they reconsider their initial impressions about me after repeated exposure, and they relinquish their normal social expectations of me that they otherwise place upon normal people.

people that like me can see that i am extremely different and they accommodate my responses to them in a special way that they would not accord to average people.

some people are very rigidly set in their perceptions, and they see me as rude and aloof and snobbish, and they see me as snobbish because i never smile at them or become interested in what they say.

if someone can see past their rigid expectations and make allowances for me, then i will feel more comfortable with them and i will listen and sometimes smile and contribute to the interaction, and they feel nice about it and they like me.

but it remains the fact that everyone that likes me will say they know no one else remotely similar to me, and the people who do not like me just think i am an unfeeling and barren pr*ck.

i find your words achingly fascinating. your experiences interest me a great deal, and i respect your ideas a lot.

to the OP - i do not know if some groups have an easier time integrating (i am an aspie). i integrate acceptably well on a surface level, but i do not keep friends very well.

people sometimes think i am being intentionally difficult because in certain occasions socialization is harder than at other times, depending on factors they do not understand (i.e. a whining light fixture, the distraction of crowds, my internal tension from quieting myself so i don't say the wrong thing, or the unexpected appearance of one of my special interests, like a flock of birds flying by). i cannot always predict when i will have more trouble, and it is exhausting to try to appear normal.

i do have friends, but typically my friendships do not endure more than two years.


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buryuntime
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09 Oct 2010, 1:05 pm

I think people with HFA are more right-brained typically and thus get along better emotionally. I'm aspie and very rigid in my thinking, emotions don't really play a part of it. I think for that reason people in the former category might get along with people easier. But people with the HFA diagnosis often have delays aspies don't in childhood. There really isn't a distinction though.



CockneyRebel
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09 Oct 2010, 1:11 pm

I'm HFA and I get along with people really well. My cousin who is suspected as AS has a really hard time, getting along with people.


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PangeLingua
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09 Oct 2010, 6:32 pm

Can you define "getting along with people"? In my mind, this could mean anything from "people don't spray me with pepper spray when I try to talk to them" through "I can have brief, civil exchanges with classmates/coworkers and if they secretly hate me, at least they haven't told me so," to "I chat with people all the time, go out with my friends regularly, and people in general find me to be very likeable."



Berlin
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10 Oct 2010, 1:23 am

I get along with anyone who really shares my interests/passions and likes to talk about it. Don't really pay attention to whether they're fellow Aspies or not.



b9
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10 Oct 2010, 7:47 am

hyperlexian wrote:
b9 wrote:
i am ......

i find your words achingly fascinating. your experiences interest me a great deal, and i respect your ideas a lot.

i take that as a compliment, but i did not mean to make you "ache" in any way.
thanks for your reply.