Depression Over Not Feeling Like a Proper Adult

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I sometimes get depressed over how I am. Truthfully, I dont have anything to complain about. I have a job, a nice apt, an easy life, and lots of hobbies. But when I know that all of the people I went to high school with are living adult lives and I'm not, I start to feel inadequate.

I've had only 2 jobs in my life. I'm on the 2nd one right now. Neither is what I consider a "real" job. I can't drive (failed the test 5x). I've never been in a relationship with anyone, or even had sex. Obviously don't have kids. I don't want them and I don't wanna get married either. I only moved out of my parents' house 5 years ago and only lived there and here in Japan.

When compared with other 31 year olds I still feel like a kid and I feel like the people who have met me think the same. It makes me feel pretty crappy. I say I don't care about social norms, but I guess I do to some extent.

Is anyone else in the same boat as me?

I kind of understand how you feel; whenever I compare myself to my former friends and classmates, it makes me feel sad that I'm not as mature as they are. I can't work, I can't drive, I still live with my parents and I've never had a boyfriend. Not to mention that my fashion sense and most of my interests are things that a 14 or 15 year old would be into.

But instead of dwelling on how childish I am compared to them, I try to accept it and embrace it as best I can.

You have a good outlook on things! You are only 19 too so you have plenty of time

I feel the same way a lot of the time. I'm only 22 now, but it's still likely that I will feel like this at your age. I still live with my parents, but I can drive. Around here there isn't really any public transportation, so I have to(of course we also don't have a lot of traffic) I passed the test on the third try. If you really want to drive just keep trying. I've also never been in a relationship or had sex, and i've had one job but I just got fired. My Mom still makes calls for me and keeps up with any appointments and stuff I have.

I understand the feeling very well, but I think a lot of the people you are envying may be secretly envying you. People are eager to

have all that an adult has but later find out they miss what they left behind.

I feel like that sometimes but there was a comment from a student message board (on the online College site I go to) She mention she liked I tried to be funny and good job! I in turn felt proud of who I am and of Aspieness. NT's are to stuck up IMO and seemed stressed etc. I try to take class seriously but have fun in the process. I don't feel others friends NT's etc. take life in a fun love life manner. For example when I had to answer the Health question of what to do to deal with hot weather I said Wear shorts * Shorts Brandy! Not PANTS!* (I love pants sue me!! !) So I add a little funny/a little of myself in there instead of it being serious all the time. Have fun lighten up with school work.

I only live in a adult's body

Me too. I don't mind that I'm living with my parents yet again. It's the trying to do grown-up stuff and having it constantly blow up in my face, that is what is really bad for me. So why bother? I will just do what I can do, contribute in ways that I can handle, and be myself instead of comparing myself to my peers and feeling like a failure.

Yeah. I haven't done any of that either, except driving and not living with parents. Another reason I don't talk to people much IRL. Very much feel like a kid in a grown up world. Never thought I'd find myself even more different from my so-called peers after high school.

Since not trying to do the "normal" life thing, though, I am a lot less stressed. And my health, while not getting a lot better, at least isn't getting worse. And knowing that there are other people who 'get' various things like this helps a lot, too.

I think there's nothing wrong with being a kid. Actually, I don't think anybody ever really feels like an adult; they just kind of pretend until other people think they feel like one...

Is 5 times the maximum number of times you're allowed to take the driving test? I took the test 10 times before I finally passed. Stressful but definitely worth it.

I ran a stop sign and skidded to a halt in an intersection, and almost hit another car turning right into traffic, during my test, not to mention confusing the brake pedal with the gas pedal a couple of times, and the instructor still passed me.

No, you can take it indefinitely. But at the point I was at, I was getting nauseous each time I had to go to MVA and superbad anxiety during the actual test. After 5 fails I started crying in front of the instructor and ran away!

I was 18 then. I never tried again. Quite frankly, if I could drive, I could probably get my life in order. Certainly have more opportunities. But the whole idea of it freaks me out.

Jeez! All I did was run up on the curb when parallel parking and the guy failed me. I wish I could take the test wherever you are!

I do understand what you mean and I do sympathise, though my situation is a bit different. It's really difficult when people don't treat you as a 'proper adult'. I've been even thinking of putting my ID on T-shirt so as everybody could see that I am old enough to be treated with respect.
As a matter of fact, as I learned recently, 'normal' adults are tense and distrustful in the company of people like us because they can't place us. They are a bit envious, too. Think of all the effort people invest in looking and acting younger. It's what they want and never get while we get it without asking and complain about it.
Anyway, like you, I hate when people treat me as a kid, as when they cut in line just before me (as if I have all the time in the world if I have done my homwork while they have serious adult things to do) , ignore my arguments and give me sermons of the type 'When you finally grow up...'. But I know that this behaviour is fueled by the fact that they can't place a neat little label on me and that, I think, is a little bit gratifying.

Oh, and I am sure that I'll fail my driving test at least a dozen times before I pass it - if I ever pass it.

I also had problems with severe anxiety which is why it took me so long to pass. I tried beta blockers at one point (didn't do anything). In the end, the examiner just said something like "I think it's time we gave you your license" or something along those lines, even though I didn't actually do all that great in the test. I literally broke down and cried.