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Finally, a book made for us!

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AutisticMalcontent
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09 Oct 2010, 8:00 pm

I've recently acquired a book specifically tailor made to adults who have Aspergers. The author himself has Aspergers, and he has written a book on how to deal with Aspergers and the anxiety that occurs with being slightly autistic:

http://www.amazon.com/Asperger-Syndrome ... 184310895X

The book is called "Asperger Syndrome and Anxiety: A Guide to Successful Stress Management". Most books about autism that I've seen are made for parents who have autistic children, not for people who are slightly autistic.

Glad to see such a book is out there :)



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09 Oct 2010, 8:57 pm

I've got that book. Parts of it are hard for me to understand and I have to re-read them many times. But overall, the book has been very helpful for me.


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09 Oct 2010, 10:00 pm

I'll be buying myself a copy of that book for my birthday. :)


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jpfudgeworth
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09 Oct 2010, 10:50 pm

Are there any easily summarized pieces of advice that book offers?



ladyrain
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09 Oct 2010, 11:03 pm

I have read Nick Dubin's book. I thought it was ok, but not a wow, mainly because there were significant parts which were very focused on his personal experience. Not really a surprise of course, but it was more like 'one aspie's anxiety approach' than anxiety strategies for AS.

***

I've just come across this book which looks like it could be useful to anyone considering CBT:

Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy for Adult Asperger Syndrome (Guides to Individualized Evidence-Based Treatment) - Valerie L. Gaus PhD
"Clients with AS who are distrustful of authority or who are discouraged about therapy may find it an encouraging and exceptionally practical means of self-help."

http://www.amazon.com/Cognitive-Behavio ... _pr_sims_t



Last edited by ladyrain on 10 Oct 2010, 1:34 am, edited 1 time in total.

Sparrowrose
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09 Oct 2010, 11:09 pm

Thanks, ladyrain!

Didn't Gaus write the Foreword to Dubin's book? I remember someone else wrote the Foreword and I really liked it. I'll have to check her book out. Thanks again!


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ladyrain
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10 Oct 2010, 1:23 am

Here's one book which I have read, and thought was very informative, highly practical, and a complete antidote to the usual 'blame the AS partner' relationship books. It's expensive, since it is intended as a workbook, but probably a lot cheaper than therapy or divorce.

Counseling for Asperger Couples - Barrie Thompson

http://www.amazon.com/Counseling-Asperg ... 311&sr=1-1

Quote:
"Counselling for Asperger Couples" is the first book to provide a complete model for counselling couples where one partner has Asperger Syndrome (AS). The book provides details of the seven different stages of the model and includes anecdotal evidence from clients who have used it and whose relationships have been greatly helped by it. The author explains the importance of initial separate counselling and describes the co-counselling process, using case studies to demonstrate how the process works. The book offers a wealth of valuable advice on improving communication and cooperation and includes photocopiable activity sheets that couples can fill in and use to help understand each other better. Strategies and visual aids are also offered for dealing with or preventing anticipated future miscommunications.

Based on considerable experience, this book will be invaluable for counsellors treating couples where one partner has Asperger Syndrome, or for couples that want to improve their relationship but may not have access to counselling. It will also be useful to teachers wanting better communication with AS pupils or parents wanting better communication with an AS child.



ladyrain
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10 Oct 2010, 1:27 am

Sparrowrose wrote:
Thanks, ladyrain!

Didn't Gaus write the Foreword to Dubin's book? I remember someone else wrote the Foreword and I really liked it. I'll have to check her book out. Thanks again!

Hey, you're right - I just went and found the book and looked (rather than use Amazon which I did before).

I think one difficulty with Nick's book, and also most of the relationship advice ones, is that us lady aspies could really do with
a) an aspie-female perspective on everyday situations
b) some input from both aspie and typically-wired guys who have actually experienced the pros and cons of aspie women.

It isn't always easy to extrapolate a man's perspective on situations like the workplace and dating/relationships to match our experiences. It's still useful to have the books though.



ladyrain
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10 Oct 2010, 1:31 am

jpfudgeworth wrote:
Are there any easily summarized pieces of advice that book offers?

Dubin's book is quite a chunky read, making it difficult to pick out highlights, although there are lists of action points at the end of each chapter. It's more useful as an introduction to the way anxiety and Asperger's interact, and possible approaches, than a step-by-step self-help guide.

But it is good to have the aspie view on anxiety. We often end up in the situation where we have to make our own bridge between what we might really need in the way of help, and what is actually available, and a book like Dubin's can give you the confidence to look realistically at what might work for you, and what might not.

At least society has reached the point where 'mental distress' is recognised as a common thing and not something to be ignored or stigmatised, but it is still down to us to make sure our different-wiring gets considered.

***

For some quick summaries of general (not AS-specific) tips for anxiety, depression etc, then check out the guides on this website, especially the 'Shyness and Social Anxiety'.
http://www.ntw.nhs.uk/pic/selfhelp



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10 Oct 2010, 1:58 pm

ladyrain wrote:
I think one difficulty with Nick's book, and also most of the relationship advice ones, is that us lady aspies could really do with
a) an aspie-female perspective on everyday situations
b) some input from both aspie and typically-wired guys who have actually experienced the pros and cons of aspie women.


Yes, I've noticed the number one complaint from non-autistic women about spectrum men seems to be that they don't express enough emotion to keep them satisfied. I suspect the number one complaint from men, non-autistic or otherwise, might be something completely different. Though I have little idea what it would be.

My past history, as I've been able to suss it out, seems to be a string of guys who didn't think much past how great it would be to get laid whenever they wanted and then grew disillusioned with me being "high maintenance" in some way or other and blamed me for not being what they had assumed I was going to be. Not fun. Then I get together with the guy I'm with now and have been with for twelve years and we barely have sex at all (he's disabled and often too tired or in too much pain to think about that) and I'm working on sorting out what my "value" is in the relationship because it's so different from the "six month wonder" relationships of my past.

Quote:
It isn't always easy to extrapolate a man's perspective on situations like the workplace and dating/relationships to match our experiences. It's still useful to have the books though.


Every asperger/autism related book I've read has given me *something*. Some more than others, but they've all had something valuable I could come away with.


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ladyrain
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11 Oct 2010, 2:05 am

Sparrowrose wrote:
Yes, I've noticed the number one complaint from non-autistic women about spectrum men seems to be that they don't express enough emotion to keep them satisfied.

And, oh my, don't they complain! :)

Quote:
I suspect the number one complaint from men, non-autistic or otherwise, might be something completely different. Though I have little idea what it would be.

Yes, that's where there is so little input. It bugs me, because it's an information void. The only real comments seem to be that aspie women are hard to 'read', but that's not detailed enough to be helpful.
One suspicion I have is that men (NT at least) expect some level of relationship gudelines (aka mild nagging :) ), and maybe we expect partners to be more autonomous thinkers than they expect to be, but that's only a guess.

Quote:
Every asperger/autism related book I've read has given me *something*. Some more than others, but they've all had something valuable I could come away with.

I agree with you there, which is why I've read quite a few.



Dr_Horrible
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11 Oct 2010, 4:26 am

Everyone tend to judge the emotional and mental life of others through their own experience. That is why we have mental asylums.