Any point being officially diagnosed at age 36?

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Hi there, this is my first post. I started reading about aspergers a few months after it became evident that our 5-year old most likely has the condition (and likely to be diagnosed with it in the next few months). The more I read about it the more I thought "wait a minute, this is me all over". Various symptoms (agoraphobia, social awkwardness, self-harming, etc) made me think that I likely have aspergers and that certain relatives (especially my cantankerous, zero-attention span father) also have it.

Naturally, in the case of my son there are evident benefits of being formally diagnosed (formal help at school etc) but is there any point in seeking a formal/official diagnosis for myself? Could it even go against me if it becomes something I then have to declare in job applications etc? I like that having AS gives some sort of explanation as to why I'm the way I am and would help my understand my boy (and even father) better... but this probably won't change with a formal diagnosis.

I've been thinking about this same thing. Yes, getting services for my kids is vital, but for myself maybe it would just be validating--there are solid reasons for why life has been tough most of the time.

My guess is that an adult diagnosis would help with accomodations for school if you decide to go to college. Also going to vocation rehabilitation may help with finding meaningful work that suits you. If you're looking for a therapist/psychologist for any reason, it may help that they are familiar with Aspie traits in adults.

The specialized therapiist search would be of benefit for me because I've had depression requiring medication (Wellbutrin--also good for ADD), and maybe those depressive episodes are a result of my Aspie-ness related struggles to relate to the world. Just a thought...

hi

I realised I had Aspergers at 38 yrs (partly cause i realised my daughter and father also certainly have it, there's stands out even more then i do) .... and I was then offically diagnosed at 39 yrs.

An offical diagnoses isnt something one needs to share with anyone unless one wants to do so.

For ,myself, it has been helpful as I struggle with many things in life (my Asperger's actually seems to have gotten worst as I've got older with certain situations really making it pronouced). People before didnt understand why i struggled so much in some areas of my life... so the knowing helps there.

Im also easier on myself since the diagnoses.. as I know my Issues are due to my Asperger's etc

Im hoping one day my Aspie daughter will be more accepting of some of the things, she didnt like about me growing up, due to my Aspergers.... so maybe one day my diagnoses will help that area too.

I also can use things like the Autism help line if i ever needed it.. and also get some brief counselling due to the Asperger's (thou all the rest of the services are for children).

So for myself.. getting the diagnoses has been a good thing but I think it all would depend on your individual case, what country you live in etc etc

I am 52 and working on an official diagnosis. But it's more about understanding at this point in my life. I have decent health insurance, so that helps. I don't really expect much to change. It may help with some of my personal relationships. I'm not going to apply for any services or disability, I just need to know.

It probably depends on why you want it. It helps with understanding yourself and your son, yes, and this is a Good Thing (tm). As someone else has said, if you're seeking some kind of voc rehab or therapy help, it is beneficial to have the dx, as well. However, if you don't have a need for services of that type, it probably doesn't make a difference one way or another.

Also, welcome to WP!

Welcome to Wrong Planet.

There is probably no reason to get a diagnosis if it is not going to affect anything for the better. If you are functioning perfectly fine and you don't feel that you are in need of any services or assistance, then it is would only serve to satisfy your curiosity at an expense. Without the diagnosis, you can still identify yourself as an Aspergian if it feels right.

If you do decide to get a diagnosis (and you are, in fact, diagnosed), you need not disclose to anyone you don't want to know nor do you need to mention it to employers, unless, again, it benefits you to do so.

It did benefit me to get a diagnosis in my forties, because I was being harassed and bullied at my workplace. I got the diagnosis in order to get my boss to force my coworkers not to make hurtful jokes, file false reports, etc., which actually caused me to be hospitalized when I became suicidal.

The only advantage for a Dx (here in the US) is to be eligible for legal protections (if you claim it, you gotta be able to prove it), and eligibility for aid programs for the disabled. Sometimes there are hiring programs directed for the disabled (federal jobs...usually).

Since those program options are not desirable unless you cannot get along/ahead on your own efforts, the value of a Dx is dubious at best for an adult who's managed with AS all their life without getting a Dx.

I learned about AS at 40. I question what value a Dx would really offer me so long as I can hold a job.

Hi there and welcome. I am 40 and am currently seeking a diagnosis for myself. I am seeking it because I want more information. I want to be sure I have this and whereabouts I am on the autistic spectrum. This will help me in my life as I will no longer be mystified at my behaviours with people. Also people may become more tolerant with me too. But I will not tell employers unless I think it is in my interest to do so.

So I think there could be many good points in getting a diagnosis at 36. Especially because you have family and a young son.

But a point worth considering is: Its possible that not knowing helped me as a grew up because I was basically forced to do the things everyone was expected to do. If I had been labeled as a youngster I may have been treated too carefully and so growing up may have been less eventful and my experiences may have been curtailed.

Depending on where you are and how you're faring with employment, a DX might save you from a lot of trouble at work. I got mine when I was 56, and the way things were going with my job, it saved me from a fate worse than death - the management was trying to force me to take on a very Aspie-unfriendly role with requirements to constantly flip from the detail to the big picture, work in a crowded environment as part of a team, with jaw-droppingly unclear instructions. It's never been popular work because it doesn't require science skills but is essentially "common-sense" and manual labour (we were hired as scientists) and the workload is increased every year.....you don't get told you have to do overtime, you're just left to find out the hard way. So naturally they thought I was just being awkward for the same reasons as everybpody else. Once I'd told them of my DX, they cut me some slack, so I feel a lot safer now. But that's the UK in the public sector, where unfair dismissal law and procedural agreements for disciplinary matters are relatively worker-friendly. And even here, if I were still young enough to need to keep my employability prospects good, I'd prefer not to have an official DX on the record - although it's illegal to discriminate against AS while hiring people, the word on the street is that it goes on.

I can't think of any other significant benefits. I suppose it helped me (slightly) to try to determine "whether I had AS or not," though so much of the testing was subjective self-assessment, and my motive to get something legal to block my employer's machinations was strong, so I didn't come away thinking that I had a definitive answer. In fact these days I prefer to just focus on the individual traits, and apart from the job situation that seems to be all I really need for self-knowledge and self-improvement. The actual condition of AS is just a convenient list of traits that I may or may not have to any significant degree. It's very likely that I'd pass an objective AS test, but that doesn't concern me much. I just look at the traits and decide for myself whether each one applies to me and whether or not I need to get some coping strategies.

The DX doesn't really help me when I'm wondering whether to divulge my condition to friends. I don't try to convince them that it's real, in fact I'm quite likely to explain my DX as something that's merely apparent rather than proven. If they don't want to believe it, that's OK by me, as I'm still not sure if I believe it myself......but I know which traits are real in me - I know what I can and cannot cope with, so I explain those (if I need to) and then it's their decision whether or not to accept what I've said. From what I've read about public attitudes, showing them the DX report would make little difference to whether or not they believed me.

I'd also check out driving insurance.......I've heard that AS makes no difference to the premiums, but it might be wise to find out before getting the official label.

I had an Aspergers diagnosis at 39, and it's done wonders for me. I grew up in a very accepting and tolerant household, with a small group of longterm friends. Did mostly touchy feely subjects at Uni, and was largely alone so not really subject to any standard hazing, and oblivious to much of what was happening around me (ah bliss).
Changed to a bigger city, started employment, isolated from typical life, hooked up with well, anyone I could really, and found to my dismay that I really was a complete pariah for some reason. Got more and more abused, more tired of it, gradually got more angry as a result. Employment was an absolute disaster- requests for work at Uni environment was met with stifled laughter, ended up taking s**t work to get by while I was doing masters, which naturally justified why I was treated like s**t (a couple of jobs in the real world were equally as degrading). Got selected for more comprehensive psychopathic bullying by an individual to the point where I ended up homeless and suicidal (and my few friends were basically amused and a little amazed at the strength of my emotions), dropped the masters because of the issues I had (I worked, studied and got abused in the same environment, University of Melbourne).
The more I confronted the bullying the angrier people got for the ignominy of having to actually deal with me and bother with my issues, and the more it justified my bullying.
My sisters started having Aspie children and I did more reading about it and discovered, hey, there I am. Just prior to this I'd been finally solved by the great University thanks to a final bit of bullying: it happened while I was making my lunch so my suitor/bully was 'frightened for his life' because I was holding a butter knife when he attacked me
I proceeded to spend quite a bit of time unsuccessfully looking for semi-automatic weapons (yes, I was a failure at that too). If violence was the only language that they could communicate with then at least I would finally learn to not rock the boat. It became v clear that the answer to being their toilet was to destroy as many people as possible. I've never had issue with language (it's typically Aspie in capacity) but i don't think I will ever have the range to fully express how deep clear and undiluted the rage I was feeling at this point.
The aim for me was to reciprocate destroying any capacity for joy; to incinerate the smugness from them, drain them of all strength to hold their heads in pride for being sadists with diplomatic immunity.
The Aspergers gave me an understanding of myself, a community of people I could talk to about bullying, made me realise that there were a large group of people out there who had the same social ablutionary function, made me understand a bit more why people were such f*****g pigs. It consolidated my experiences, my quirky upbringing, my difference-ness, my social awkwardness (oops sorry!, arrogance).
I still occasionally explode, wondering what lengths I would have to go to to get them to actually feel or care about how they treat people (they're NOT pretty). Then it passes, and I remind myself that not being a sadist is part of the pleasure of being Aspie, of being sensitive, caring and being very very aware.

Cheers