Janissy wrote:
If you are asking why is socializing fun? the answer is because there is nothing that prevents it from being fun. I do not have to consciously multi-task to simultaneously figure out what somebody's body language means and what I should say next. Since those processes are subconscious, they are easier. Things that can be done subconsciously flow more easily and this ease feels good. Daniel Tammet described something similar about calculating pi out to umpteen digits. This task would be an unpleasant and arduous slog for most people (like me, but even for people with no dyscalcula) but it is a pleasure for him because he does the calculating with his subconscious and the digits unspool in his mind effortlessly, or with at least little enough effort that it isn't a slog for him. There are so many threads about what an unpleasant and exhausting slog it is to socialize with large groups or long periods of time. This is apparently because something about autism requires that all the necessary steps be done consciously. "Fun" is not possible unless something of great difficulty can be done at least partly by the subconscious mind. Otherwise it's just too taxing to the system.
If you are asking what are you thinking about while socializing?, the answer is I'm thinking about the other people and what they are saying and doing. That's the anchoring part. I can't disappear too far up my own a** if I have to be focused on others. This remains fun and not exhausting mainly because most of the mental tasks required to do it are subconscious.
So are you not conscious of how much eye contact you're making and whether you're making it at the right times, and when to smile, and when to make little sounds to show that you're listening and things like that? Not at all?
I used to not think about any of these things, but then a number of people told me that I scared them.
11 Oct 2010, 12:53 pm
