Do ALL NTs live in a little bubble of narcissism or just the

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MizLiz
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12 Oct 2010, 7:24 pm

ones I've met?

I have cancer. They know about it. They've known about it for months (people I actually know, not internet "friends" who are actually more dependable). When I posted a blog on my myspace, they backed away. When I deleted my myspace several months later (presumably I was dead or really disenchanted) nobody called.

There's this guy I've been talking to. He pretends to care. Says he prays for me. He has my number but never calls.

Why the f**k are people so fake?


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Omnicognic
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12 Oct 2010, 7:36 pm

In my opinion, It's not just NTs but a selfish human trait to shy away from the depressing reality that someone is ill.(terminal or not) There are those people with a compassion that overcomes this, but sadly they are not as common as they should be.


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MrXxx
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12 Oct 2010, 8:07 pm

That seems to me to be more of a lack of ability to express compassion than narcissism. True compassion is rare these days among all people, NT or on the spectrum. It really doesn't have anything to do with any labels. It's pretty much universal.


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CaptainTrips222
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12 Oct 2010, 8:11 pm

Still, that's no excuse to turn a blind eye when somebody has something that serious. A little concern isn't asking much. If that's too much, they're just being selfish.



Cassia
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12 Oct 2010, 8:18 pm

I think often people are scared to talk to someone who's really sick because they don't know what to say. Ignoring talking about it seems rude, and anything they have to say seems completely inadequate as a response to the illness. Of course, avoiding the person is rude too, so it's not really a solution, but it can feel like one.

It's not only autistic people who sometimes don't know what to say or do.


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Dr_Horrible
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13 Oct 2010, 4:21 am

MizLiz wrote:
ones I've met?

I have cancer. They know about it. They've known about it for months (people I actually know, not internet "friends" who are actually more dependable). When I posted a blog on my myspace, they backed away. When I deleted my myspace several months later (presumably I was dead or really disenchanted) nobody called.

There's this guy I've been talking to. He pretends to care. Says he prays for me. He has my number but never calls.

Why the f**k are people so fake?


Because you are just a username on a website to them. You accuse them of being egoistic (yes they are), but do you yourself call random people on the internet who are ill and sad to comfort them?

Look up the term "Monkeysphere".



Seanmw
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13 Oct 2010, 5:16 am

Awwwwh, sorry :(
My GF has cancer too, though they've surgically removed the main tumor mass & now she's undergoing chemo/radiotherapy. Doctor's fairly optimistic.

Out of curiosity, how old are you and what type do you have :o ?
& is it still treatable or is it terminal?


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Callista
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13 Oct 2010, 9:50 am

Have you perhaps studied how people perceive cancer? The cultural associations with even the word "cancer" are... well, let's just say it's many people's worst fear. And it's actually happened to you.

Chances are, they're intimidated. They have no clue what to say or do. They're afraid of doing the wrong thing; they're afraid they'll see you die. (I don't know what your prognosis is, but they'd be afraid of this even if it were a kind of cancer with a 99.9% remission rate...) Maybe you remember back before your diagnosis, what you thought cancer was, compared to the reality.

If they're not really close to you, people will often shy away because their fear of doing the wrong things outweighs their desire to support you.


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13 Oct 2010, 10:04 am

When my baby brother died in 1999 of liver disease my mum said people would cross the street when they saw her, it's obviously because they don't know what to say or do and didn't want to do the wrong thing. When it comes to facing illness I think most people NT or not are hopeless, it is rude to ignore but I think people just get scared about what to say when they see the person affected, I know I do.


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MizLiz
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13 Oct 2010, 4:51 pm

Dr_Horrible wrote:
MizLiz wrote:
ones I've met?

I have cancer. They know about it. They've known about it for months (people I actually know, not internet "friends" who are actually more dependable). When I posted a blog on my myspace, they backed away. When I deleted my myspace several months later (presumably I was dead or really disenchanted) nobody called.

There's this guy I've been talking to. He pretends to care. Says he prays for me. He has my number but never calls.

Why the f**k are people so fake?


Because you are just a username on a website to them. You accuse them of being egoistic (yes they are), but do you yourself call random people on the internet who are ill and sad to comfort them?

Look up the term "Monkeysphere".

I'm not just a username. I said these are people I know OFF the internet. People I went to school with, people I've worked with, people I USED to hang out with before discovering they were as*holes.

To answer the other questions, I'm 25 and this is round 3 with brain cancer. I had 6 months if I wouldn't have had surgery. I wish I had just gone to Oregon. Now my radiologist won't answer me directly when I ask him if I'm still terminal.


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13 Oct 2010, 5:16 pm

I'm a big believer in alternative approaches to cancer, like vitamin C, retreats from life (small hut on a wind swept coast for 6 months) fasting, briefly swimming in freezing cold water everyday, etc

I hope you pull through again, please dont hate people, it usually only makes things worse. Prolonged anger has been linked to cancer. I wish you wellness and happiness