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livinglearning
Snowy Owl
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17 Oct 2010, 4:57 am

Who else does it?

I don't really socialize so I guess I can be considered a social recluse. The thing is, I love to go out. When I stay at home I always end up spending too much time in bed or in front of the computer, and I get all lethargic and depressed. So I always go to my favorite places despite rarelly having someone to go out with... restaurants, bars, festivals... whatever. Sometimes I wish I weren't alone, but I know I get bored easily with people's conversations and I have a lot more fun alone. But deep inside I really want to conform, fit in, etc.

I went to a party with people last night and it was a complete disaster. That makes me sad because I do like parties, and I'm rarely invited, and I can see why. I'm lucky because now I actually have a few friends who really like me and care about me. They mean well, but it really hurts to hear what they say about me. I'm ashamed. When I hang out with people I'm embarrassed because of the things I say and do wrong. But being alone can sometimes be embarrassing or boring too.

Does anyone else feel the same way? What do you do? Oh, and do you feel like I'm using people?

Now it's time for my all you can eat brunch buffet! :D



Asp-Z
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17 Oct 2010, 5:01 am

That sounds fun. When I'm more confident with using public transport or when I'm old enough to drive, I may start doing it myself. I've never seen why so many NTs find it so unthinkable to go somewhere on your own.

That said, I do also enjoy sitting at home on the computer.



Heliobacter20
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17 Oct 2010, 5:56 am

It's funny that I should read this post now, as I was just pondering that I never take people with me when I go out. I think most girls always bring a friend when they go shopping, but I find I am always worried that they are bored or am bored myslef when we are looking at stuff I'm not interested in. I prefer to just go and do what I want and leave. I put on my headphones and just shut everyone else out. I also go to restaurants and movies along although I stopped going to movies because the other people in the theatre annoy me.
The downside of this is that I haven't been out with friends in ages. They don't even bother calling me any more, but that is largely in part because I work such random and long hours that no one ever knows when I'm off and even if I am it's not guarantee that I'll have enough energy. I've been under some pretty long term stress, so I know I'm not as bright and cheery as I used to be. I act chipper at work most of the time, but thats for the patients and because i don't want to be gloomy around my coworkers. I am a little worried that I am going to end up with no friends as the majority of my time seems to be spent at my computer and I am finding it harder and harder to keep up with friends or be any fun to be around.



industrialx
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17 Oct 2010, 6:10 am

I find it hard to find people to hang out with and want to do the things I want to do sometimes, so over the years I've found it quite enjoyable to go to gigs/the pictures/museums and galleries etc on my own. In fact, I think I enjoy it more than if I went with someone else.


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Sam2001
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17 Oct 2010, 7:52 am

I use to, not so much now. It would be nice to go with a friend/s so I could to talk with someone, but people tend to be spontaneous.



DeadpanDan
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17 Oct 2010, 8:01 am

I'm always alone. Always.



livinglearning
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17 Oct 2010, 8:19 am

@Heliobacter20: I'm sorry to hear that. I hope you can work something out. I can definitely relate to your worries about ending up with no friends. I also worry about finding a boyfriend.

@Asp-Z: it is fun! You should try it. But sometimes it can be a little sad and lonely, too.



livinglearning
Snowy Owl
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17 Oct 2010, 8:20 am

DeadpanDan wrote:
I'm always alone. Always.



And how do you feel? Do you sometimes wish you weren't alone?



Who_Am_I
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17 Oct 2010, 8:20 am

Quote:
Who else does it?


All the time.


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TuDoDude
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17 Oct 2010, 8:24 am

I would rather just stay here with my stuff. I really hate eating out but I sometimes go to the movies (if I'm not wanting to wait for dvd or I want to see it on the big screen). I get bored with people's conversations because I'm bored with them and usually don't know what they are talking about.

livinglearning wrote:
Who else does it?

I don't really socialize so I guess I can be considered a social recluse. The thing is, I love to go out. When I stay at home I always end up spending too much time in bed or in front of the computer, and I get all lethargic and depressed. So I always go to my favorite places despite rarelly having someone to go out with... restaurants, bars, festivals... whatever. Sometimes I wish I weren't alone, but I know I get bored easily with people's conversations and I have a lot more fun alone. But deep inside I really want to conform, fit in, etc.

I went to a party with people last night and it was a complete disaster. That makes me sad because I do like parties, and I'm rarely invited, and I can see why. I'm lucky because now I actually have a few friends who really like me and care about me. They mean well, but it really hurts to hear what they say about me. I'm ashamed. When I hang out with people I'm embarrassed because of the things I say and do wrong. But being alone can sometimes be embarrassing or boring too.

Does anyone else feel the same way? What do you do? Oh, and do you feel like I'm using people?

Now it's time for my all you can eat brunch buffet! :D


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Valoyossa
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17 Oct 2010, 10:36 am

I go out alone. I must do shopping and I want to go f.e. to concerts. I've seen my favourite bands. If I cared about people, I wouldn't.


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17 Oct 2010, 11:37 am

I used to go out alone, when I was in my 20s. I have two good friends that I do things with, now.


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Sulinar
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17 Oct 2010, 11:47 am

I prefer to go alone; especially to venues such as museums, fairs, and festivals. I find that when I go with others, I have to move at their pace or else I worry they are going my pace just to be polite. Since almost always people move faster or slower than I would want to.

Restaurants, I take something to read.

Parks and hikes and such are better with others.



raisedbyignorance
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17 Oct 2010, 11:49 am

I've been doing this alot for several years.

I can do like casual and fast food restaraunts and shopping malls by myself. I wont go in anywhere that is extremely crowded. But I dont think I would go to a bar by myself to drink. I'd rather do that kind of thing with friends. I had a friend who one time wanted to do this little experiment where I had to sit by myself at a bar and he would see how many people would talk to me. It was really weird and now I'm convinced that he made me do it for some sort of social experiment for class or something. But yeah that's why I would never do the bars solo. It would just be too weird.

If you're not use to doing stuff alone it is hard at first but it does get a little better with time. When I was doing the college program at Walt Disney World I felt weird about going to the parks by myself without friends but eventually I got use to it and I enjoy it though I wouldnt do any thrill rides alone.

But these days I feel I'm going out solo way too much and too often and it does lose its steam. It's okay to do stuff alone, just not all the time.



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17 Oct 2010, 11:56 am

I eat out alone at least once a day, its kinda way of socialising to sit and eat in a diner on my own. I hop on my scooter and go into the city for 1 hour most days.



corroonb
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17 Oct 2010, 12:01 pm

I do most things alone; eat, sleep, read etc. Being alone doesn't bother me at all, I used to worry about it but now I couldn't care less (correct form of the phrase btw).