Please help me understand

Post Reply New Topic

Hello everyone.

My name is Aaron. I feel great to have stumbled upon this community here because something has been troubling me. Do I have Aspergers?

I've researched Aspergers on and off for a few years now. Some times I was convinced that I had it, and other times not. I know I could go to a doctor to be diagnosed but I'm just so nervous to go to the doctor and ask about it.

I know what a lot of the main symptoms are for Aspergers. Some I can relate to and some don't - which is what has kept me on the fence about this for so long. So I was hoping some of you from the community here could share your knowledge about this condition and help me understand if I really do have it.

About me;

- I'm 20 years old

- I've always had trouble making and keeping friends. When I speak to people I don't know well or don't know at all I find it really hard to make eye contact. I do look at someones eyes most of the time, but it is so difficult and distracting that I can't hold conversations well and mess up my speech. I also rely on others to create small talk. Otherwise there is just awkward silence.

- I am very self aware. Especially during conversations. If I believe I embarrassed myself in some way It will stick with me for weeks, months, years and I will keep reflecting back on it. Which really upsets me. Even things that happened to me 6 years ago are still imprinted in my memory and I reflect back on it all the time.

- My memory is really bad (I can't remember what I ate yesterday). However, I tend to remember very random and bizarre things. For example, if I spoke to somebody in a large room I wouldn't remember their face, clothing, smell, or even what they sounded like. But I may remember other things like the lighting in the room and how many people might have been around us.

- I have narrow interests. Video games and movies. I find it difficult to talk to other people about THEIR interests and I only really enjoy a conversation if it's about me.

- I have many personal habits. But I find it hard to stick to new ones. Like when the dentist told me I should start flossing. I did it for a short while but because I was so used to only brushing I eventually just forgot about it.

- I'm very easy to be coaxed. If a homeless man asks me for money I will give him a dollar. If he asked for another $2, I can't help but give it to him. I just find it hard to say no even If I really need the money for my train ticket or lunch. Also, salespersons are my worst nightmare they can convince me to buy anything and I would agree. I just CANT reject people. One time I was almost convinced by a salesperson to buy a $8000 motorcycle. I'm very glad he asked me to sleep on it. Otherwise bam....

- I have personality issues/multiple personalities. If I'm with my brothers I will act differently than If I was with friends or strangers. Also, over the years my personality largely reflects on who I hang around with for long periods. Such as a new work colleague who I spend large amounts of time with. I may start using the exact same body language, vocal cues, and "quotes" that person uses. I worked at an electronics company for years and during that time I worked alongside 7 different people who came and left the company a few months apart from each other. My Boss was a very observant man and used to call me by a nickname (sorry, I forgot what it was :sadface:) whenever I was acting like another employee. That used to be very embarrassing when he brought it up. I used to pretend I had no idea what he was talking about. But I really did know.

Thanks for reading and I hope to hear back from you all soon

I'm sure there were a few points I missed. So feel free to ask any... er... diagnose type questions. I'll be more than happy to answer.

-Aaron

http://www.autreat.com/dsm4-aspergers.html

I also have different personalities with different groups of people. I guess its an aspergian coping mechanism.

Aaron, I know it's difficult but the only person who can really give you an answer is someone qualified to do so. Can I ask which country you live in? One thing I've learnt from this site is that your country of residence can completely change the advice you get.

Sydney, Australia.

I'm afraid I'm the opposite side of the world so can't advice you on how to get proper advice in Australia, but I'm sure someone will be along soon who can.

In the meantime, the UK National Autistic Society have some really good general information about how to bring up the subject with your medical professional and the things you need to think about when you do:

http://www.autism.org.uk/About-autism/A ... dults.aspx

Good luck.

It definitely sounds like you're not neurotypical, but whether you're an aspie or not I'm not qualified to say. I can say that nobody ticks every box. We're all different.

I suggest doing some more reading about this and related conditions, then going to see a psychologist. Maybe get a few second opinions from different doctors, because they are fallible.

In the meantime, hang around here and see how much you recognise, especially the little things like sensory issues.

Sounds like might qualify. But it's much easier to allow a professional IRL to have a conversation with you. He or she can directly observe your body language, and see how you form thoughts in real time. Much more efficient than to ask us to examine you through what you write.

Thanks a lot for your responses

I'll definitely come back to let you guys know what happened from here.

Get a professional diagnosis.

Some of you symptoms may indicate a personality disorder or a variant mode of thinking. Or they just might be inconvenient habits you picked up. You really should get a proper evaluation.

ruveyn