Suffering: I really don't understand

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I don't understand how it could be possible to "suffer" from being myself.

This is why I have refused to accept that I'm an "Aspergers Sufferer"?

Surely there is a more tactful way of putting it?

If I enjoy myself persuing my interests and hobbies alone, surely that's a good thing?

I have also helped many people in the past with information gained from my interests.
I enjoyed helping them one to one. Helping them made me feel alive. How is that suffering? They said that I was a good friend. How could that be true if I'm not meant to form "meaningful relationships" with people? I felt a deep connection with these people and a hyperawareness of the culture around me. How is that suffering?

I don't get it. How can I suffer from studying and analysing beautiful details in the environment? How can I suffer from saying "Look at that!" rather than "How are you?".

I don't understand, surely "Look at that!" shows that I'm observant?

Maybe the reason I'm depressed is because there are so many "Look at that!"s to look at in a confusing advertising saturated world. Perhaps I'm suffering from information overload trying to listen to someone while the radio is playing in the background. That's all that the radio is these days: background music and mindless chatter. Most people don't seem to want to engage actively with music or discuss the lyrics in any depth. Most music seems to be passively consumed or used as background noise to drown out reality.

People seem to use parties as excuses to get drunk, numbed and stupid, rather than to celebrate, connect and share culture.

Maybe this is why I'm suffering because the world around me seems meaningless and lacking in depth. I think I'm suffering becuase I'm hyperaware of other people looking stressed, bored and suffering. I wish I could help somehow.

The problem is the static interpretation of various neurological syndromes. At one point, I am pretty sure it didn't do too well for you because you got diagnosed (or you had other problems which affected your life which brought you into being diagnosed). The only reason why people at this point would call you a sufferer is because of them being mentally stiff or wanting someone to victimise so they might feel oooh so good.

This is a label affixed by those that believe Asperger's is a condition that needs a cure.

I'm thinking I like Apergerist better. Or Apspergerific. Or even weirdo.

What's really strange is, I've read "Asperger's Sufferer" but not "Autism Sufferer". Why do people like to put sufferer with Asperger's and not Autism since AS is a form of it? It seems almost like they are resorting to the Assburgers pun and making a bad joke.

I've heard "autism sufferer" an awful lot.

Because they've already decided that since you're different, your difference = disorder or sickness.

They haven't stopped to think that "normal" isn't the only valid way of being and living.

Yeah. You're not normal, therefore you must be worse, therefore your life must be miserable.

Some people really love to have compassion. They love to have compassion so much than they have made it their chief dedication to make others feel miserable so they would feel grateful for the compassion they receive.

It's bizarre.

Some people have called me "brilliant", other people have called me "sick".

I get extreme reactions from people: extreme hate or extreme love, no inbetween.

From a young age, people have observed me like a zoological exhibit.

People have not been sensible.
People have thought that I was brilliant at everything or good at nothing.

I clearly can't be both, or can I?

I was never allowed to be AS and successful.

If I was successful, people called me normal.
If I was a failure, I was called AS.

Hang on a minute though, aren't I the same person in both cases?

Sadly, no one is applauding brilliance. Jealousy I think it's called.

I agree.

Surely people's behaviours are influenced by the physical and social environments that they find themselves in?

One kind of neurological wiring might benefit the person in one environment, but be detrimental in another.

I have suffered from the environments I've been in and the expectations placed on me.

I think people do applaud brilliance as long as there's something in it for them.

If they can use the knowledge/expertise you have, you increase their survival chances.
People suddenly want to be friends with you if you know the answers to difficult Maths questions or if you have the answer a problem they've been struggling with.

People who helped you aquire the knowledge that you have will want to support you and bask in your glory.

This has been my experience anyway.

Last edited by AmberEyes on 15 Oct 2010, 4:43 pm, edited 1 time in total.

People with aspergers dont suffer from aspergers, they suffer from other people. Tony Attwood

Right.

So people get diagnosed for suffering from other people.

Confused again.

What am I supposed to say to the doctor:
"Hello there Doc, I'm suffering from other people."

He's hardly going to say:
"Great, send 'em in!"

The doctor can only treat me as an individual.
It would be crazy to ask him to treat all of society so I could "get better".

It doesn't matter how many pills I pop.
If I take a pill, how is this supposed to help other people.

Is community spirit formed by taking pills?

Yes. The thing with Leonardo and Albert was that they had very few (if any) competitors. Albert Einstein was actually damaged by a slander campaign in Germany, a long time before the nazis came to power.

AmberEyes, you developed during your life some defense mechanisms you are not yet aware of...

These two very specific quotes makes me think you are like me. Our conclusion is the consequence of a sophisticated processing we developed naturally and you are just not realizing it. You are interpreting the outside world (people, things, situations in life) through I process I would call "mirroring+axiology".

You should realize that this is not a feature of Asperger, but a rather positive consequence of it. Now imagine you are not able to do it anymore