Lets play Doctor: please read the 1st post before posting.

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(Attn: moderator if you feel this is inappropriate for this section, my apologies..) if this has been done before, again I'm. Sorry I haven't had time to read the entire forum yet.

Ok, here is the is the idea: Being human, we all have faults that we are aware of. Many of us are here to get advice on ways to improve. I got an idea...
let's each post a fault we would like help with, and the next person offer advice on the above poster's problem, then post one of their own.

Please try to keep the issues short, a few sentences at most.

Quote the issue you are offering advice for to avoid confusion.

Be serious and supportive, this is not the "corrupt a wish" thread!

I'll start:

I write myself lists to remind myself of chores that need to be done, but I find it too easy to skip unpleasant items listed.

well, i like your idea!
i say: make a special list for unpleasant things, and do one each day
here's mine: i need to go to the dentist but i'm scared out of my mind to even think about it. i might die of septicemia.

When an unpleasant idem has been put off for more than 3 days, it must be on the top of the list on day 4.

What can I do in life to improve my brain function? Drugs/meds or exercise and diet?

I have found that exercise can really reduce stress and anxiety. If I know I have to do something that is going to cause stress or anxiety I usually workout at the gym an hour or so before, clean up and do what I have to do. Your brain releases an opiate like compound when you exercise (so called runners high) and also increases blood flow in the brain which also is good for brain functioning.

Eating fresh fruits and vegetables as well as consuming multivitamins, have positive effects on my brain functioning.

What I need help with is being less withdrawn, even when around my small group of friends.

Ooo, I like this post - - sort-of like playing Dear Abby (except she's dead) Ahem, anyway, I'll Play Doctor.......

About your query: I am painfully shy too and probably need to just accept that I am indeed shy. If your being withdrawn is due to being self-conscious (?) then try to look at them (e.g. what colours they're wearing, their interests, etc) and not worry so much if they are judging you. Often I try to plan out a group but find this may actually make my shyness worse since I become really stressed.

Another member, quite some time ago, gave the following suggestion (different venue, but it works!) and it might help your being withdrawn: He said if one is nervous/uneasy to quietly (not aloud) name 5 things you see (such as a chair, a cup of coffee, a particular colour, etc). Next, name 5 things you hear (rain outside, the clatter of silverware, your friend's voice, etc), then 5 things you feel (like the upholstery of your chair, the breeze from the fan, etc). The principle is, to become aware of your senses makes your reality less stressful. You could try this little exercise, which should take just a minute or two, just prior to meeting with your friends and should make it easier to interact. Oh, and my own personal note: Try to wear something you really like and look your best - if you're comfortable and confident it's easier. Sometimes I keep a fidget toy in my bag too. If you don't know what to say, then you can just ask your friend(s) a question about their interests. Or look at the front page of the news, like current events, and comment about that. Good luck, GodluckGoodspeed

Ahem - That will be 5 pence, please! The Doctor is in

Now, my question to The Doctor: How can sleep, instead of being consumed by deep thought? Often I am sleepy but just not in the mood to sleep. Hint: I don't like warm milk. Seriously, I've been taking melatonin and I'm not sure it's any different. Sigh.

one relaxation trick my mother taught me when i was 6 or 7 ( always had trouble stopping the thoughts): lie down on your back and be very still, relax every muscle. then become aware of your toes, feel every part of them in your mind. spend some time on each toe, then go up the feet, concentrate on the feet: your toes are already numb. you go to the ankle, and move up your body this way. progressively your body becomes numb in an upward movement following your thoughts. when you reach the neck, i swear you're dozing off already.

I get to sleep by dreaming while awake. What I mean is that I try to sleep and then create a dream in my head, a fantasy world with all the details filled in. I get to play whichever part I like in my dream. It's relaxing and takes the focus of the mind away from all the trivialities which keep me awake.

My problem is getting up in the morning. I wake up but can't get up and so spend hours in bed willing myself to get up and going. Once I'm up I'm fine, but I just can't get up.

I am like that until I have a Starbucks Columbian (medium) VIA. That stuff has the best caffeine I've ever experienced! As soon as I have it I am wide awake and ready to get on with things. So, get someone to make you a cup and give it to you in bed and you should be ready to jump right up and into things

Ediself, I think you were skipped back there. I'm afraid of the dentist, too. You're afraid of germs and I'm afraid of pain (plus hands in my mouth puts me on overload...). Still, it's probably safer than eating out or driving a car. Tell you what, let's both find a dentist in our area that deals with chickens like us, maybe even one who knows how to deal with ASDs, and make an appointment. Message me when you've got one, and I'll do the same. And pinky promise me you'll go...I will if you will. That's a promise.

My issue...I have a job, but have lost my interest in it. I could force myself, but the culture feels isolating to me. Benefits are incredible...like, really, I shouldn't even consider quitting, it makes no logical sense...but I don't think I'll ever be happy. If your best friend, or you, had to choose between an unhappy work life for the next, say 12 years (with all the financial stability of a GREAT job) or creatively fulfilled but living in uncertainty...what would you advise? (don't worry, I'm not going to just do whatever you say, I could just use more opinions).

Do you have someone to go with you? I have a phobia of going to a certain related place and it was really really difficult and I was on the verge of throwing up the entire time but I got through it. It's probably better than possibly dying in which case you'll be put in a hospital which sounds more terrifying. I actually have thrown up at the dentist before, too. It'd probably be awful going without some help.


Instead of 12 years why not just work a few more and save up some money and then plunge into uncertainty if you still feel like it? I don't know much about jobs so someone else should comment on this.

I know you have no interest in your job, but I would keep it if I were you. In these hard economic times, it's a very wonderful thing to be able to make a good amount of cash. When I was a kid, my dad had a job where the income was uncertain and I hated it. It's no fun to worry if you're going to eat or if there will be a Christmas all because your source of income is unreliable.

OK, I would like some advice now:

I have a tendency to take minor issues way too seriously. There are many small things that upset me, but I'll give one example: if someone gives a bad review of one of my favorite movies or insults one of my favorite characters, I fly into a rage (including getting red in the face, shaky hands, etc). My question is: How can I be less sensitive and learn to take things in stride?

oh, thanks guys for replying to my question! i'm not afraid of germs: i might die of septicemia from an infection IF i don't go to the dentist's. i'm not afraid of pain itself i think...or maybe i am! i went to the dentist's countless times as a kid : i cry in the waiting room, then i sit down, let him look at my mouth, if i'm brave enough that i feel i will let him work, i let him do the shot, but when he gets out his instruments.........mouth closed. panick attack. sobbing like a baby. i don't know how many times i had the shot and left with a numb mouth and no work done on my teeth, feeling like a failure. so taking an appointment is not the issue here.....and i'd much prefer going to the hospital . even to give birth. that's less scary and i know, i did it twice.

I think the trick here is to tell yourself that others are entitled to their opinions and they can be different than yours. It doesn't hurt you for others to be different, and it isn't a judgment on you if they feel differently. Even if you feel this way, other people probably don't. Take a deep breath, count to ten and tell yourself it's not a judgment on you. If that doesn't work, change the subject.

ediself: then find a dentist who understands your issues and come up with a plan together. You are unique and require unique, gentle treatment. It's okay to ask to get your services in a way that allows you to stay healthy. They can medicate you before (maybe valium is enough, maybe you need to be 'put out' to have an exam or a cleaning). Not all will understand or be able to help you, so the trick here is to ask for what you need and be sure the dentist you pick gets it.

oh, me...something easier: I snap at people when they interrupt me while I'm concentrating. I get so irritated, and I try really hard not to. I don't like being mean all the time.

Thank you for your advice! I'll be sure to follow it!

I wish I could give you advice about your problem, but I do the same thing so...