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CD84
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26 Oct 2010, 5:08 am

I find when I try to be polite and socialable with people they rarely ask much about me, even though I try to get to know them ask them questiosn etc. I have been described all my life as either shy, resereved, quiet, guarded etc. I see myself as a friendly person, a good person but I am not very expressive emotionally and can be aloof.

Like when I am at work I try to get to know people and ask them about themselves. I do have a tendency to ask a lot of questions in general but I find people often don't ask much about me which gives me the impression they are not interested. This doesn't happen all the time but a lot of the time.

I did have developmental delays when I was young, phsyically and my speech as well but I am good at communicating I think. It does seem my thought process is different or odd to most people conversation often can feel forced, or strained even with my own family.For example a lot of my conversations with my parents and employers/workers is to get information or a question of some kind. I try to take an interest in my families hobbies/interest but I don't know whether I do a job of it. Recently I was told I am outgoing but I don't agree it's just that I am not afraid to talk. Although I rarely feel shy anymore I still I find I have little to say or talk about unless it's something I can relate to or it's an interest of mine.

I don't know how I come across to others I would say, nice, friendly but aloof and detached.
What I mean is I like to help people and I respect people in general, I rarely gossip about others even If I don't like them but I am often detached or resereved at times.

Can anyone relate or give me insight on this?

Thanks



Kaybee
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26 Oct 2010, 5:56 am

Most people love to talk about themselves. If you give them the opportunity, many will do so ad nauseum and often (usually?) won't even realize that they're doing it. They might not be aware that they are being one-sided. Of course, this is only one possibility, but is perhaps something to consider, if you haven't already.


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Robdemanc
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26 Oct 2010, 6:10 am

I think some people don't like being questioned too much. You say you like to ask lots of questions. So to them it may appear they are being interrogated. I usaually try to ask one or two questions only when I meet people. Usually where do you live and do they like living there etc. But for me one or two questions is more than enough. I am never interested in their answers though.



leejosepho
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26 Oct 2010, 9:42 am

CD84 wrote:
I find when I try to be polite and sociable with people they rarely ask much about me, even though I try to get to know them ask them questions etc.

Some people are just more motivated than others along that kind of line.

I tend to share your kind of curiosity, and I continually watch for friendship opportunities ... but I have found only a small percentage of all the people I have ever met are similarly curious or interested.


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Philologos
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26 Oct 2010, 11:21 am

I am Don't ask, my wife is Ask. Other people think I ask too little, I think trhey ask too much and tell too little. People think she asks too much, she feels they askj too little.

It is the degree thatr is off, not the direction