Crisis

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I'm absolutely distraught at the moment. Some kids just sang a song through my letterbox and it got me really scared about things, I get paranoid sometimes like that, like why did they do it, did it have something to do with me? Anyway my only hope of work seems to falling through, I have no friends and life is even more bleak. I don't know what to do. I got referred to the psychologist but they only give me one month appointments. They just sent me a letter to say sorry but due to unforseen circumstances your appointment has been cancelled, for another month, so that's two months between appointments. What kind of service is that, it's far from useful. I feel so much pain at the moment when only a few days ago I felt so much peace. Life gets worse. I have no money, and I've been unemployed for a year and a half now. Has anyone made any progress on the people issue, do you have any more friends? If so, how?

Edited:

I just wonder how much longer I can go on before being hospitalised? What will happen then? This isn't just aspergers, there's nothing in my life and my mind goes from what do I do to what can I do constantly with no answers.

First of all, kids singing a song through your letterbox is normal. It's extremely regrettable, but don't give it more value than it actually has. It is inevitable to be upset about it and I am so sorry it happened. Do you know who they are or where they live? If they do it again, maybe the police could have a chat with them.

I once knew a woman who taped a sign to her door that said, "Please do not bump into this door." So of course there was no end to kids bumping into her door.

It sounds like you are terribly isolated. These people are immensely helpful -

http://www.samaritans.org/

You can contact them 24/7 - whoever you deal with will use the name "Jo" - I hope you can get in touch with them.

Thanks. Think I'm out of the crazy woods now but not exactly feeling great. Do you ever find you keep forgetting to do the things which make you happier and keep you sane? For example WP was helping yet I stopped doing it. Anyway, sorry for venting so much.

If you're apologizing for venting, that may be part of why you stopped coming to WP. Maybe you feel you have no right to your feelings or opinions. Vent away! Make a point of it - log in and let fly on anything at all - ten lines or a hundred, doesn't matter. Speak freely!

I have learned that part of being me (and having Aspergers) is anxiety management. I spend a great deal of my life dealing with anxiety and the other comorbid conditions of Aspergers. More than other people, we must keep up our sleep,nutrition, exercise and things that make us happy. We must constantly run from giving up.

Sometimes I just picture water boring a hole through cement. (it can do it if it drips long enough) That is how we must go forward. Determined despite the odds.

I discovered that a recent memory was just killing me yesterday, hence breakdown. I've dealt with it now so no more issues.

It sounds like your picturing a blocked energy system.

Of all the things you may or may not need to apologize for, this is definitely not on of them.

Yes, I do. Not so much forget as just becoming restless and extra-anxious. Nothing I would normally do seems to hold the same attraction it did and if I continue trying to regain it, by working on an interest anyway, the feeling only gets worse and things I'd normally have no problem with doing become a struggle.
Then I feel very bad and lost.

Don't! I can't believe I've actually found such an incredible forum as WP and it's the only release I have, the only place where I know people would understand how I'm feeling.

It helps, I know it helps. I've posted some awful rambling crap here and provided I resist the inclination to keep going back and editing it (I will feel the need to pick at it ), I always feel better for having done it.
In other forums I would expect to get flamed for it but not here, and that makes me feel a whole lot safer about communicating at all.
And sometimes, I even get to talk about stuff with other people too!

?? No comprehend ??

You'll find me talking about EFT all of the forum but trying not to. I don't want to get on anyone's nerves but it really does work!

Here's the manual if you're interested: Official EFT Manuals