Experiences with driving

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Good day WP,

For my next edition of Thinking Different (see signature), I'll be covering a section talking about how well people on the spectrum cope with driving (particularly in different and variable situations). Obviously as a non-driver myself (not for long hopefully), I don't know much about this, so perhaps this could also be an enlightenment personally as well as something that will fill a page.

I will be selecting some replies (if you've not all run away) to include in the article anonymously, so please do express if you do not want to be included. I've been behind the wheel once so far and it seems...complicated - But, I think I would eventually get it.

Some direct questions to ponder:
How easy did you find it initially, and how long did it take to become comfortable with it?
How many attempts did it take before you passed your test?
How do you react in stressful situations, such as heavy traffic or passengers who may make you feel uncomfortable?
And anything else you may want to add!

I have found driving to be a relaxing activity. The space within your car is an extension of your own little world, it's a little bubble that can't be penetrated by others (when driving alone, that is). Having to navigate along a packed five-lane interstate with aggressive, unpredictable drivers aside, I can say that driving overall is pleasurable. Fill the car with your favorite music, maybe grab a caffeinated beverage of choice to set in a cup-holder, and you're off. Sometimes I even drive without having a destination in mind, though I'll need to maybe cut back this habit in light of the gas prices of late. Also, with mobile phone technology, getting lost doesn't worry me nearly as much as it did in the past. If you miss a turn or take the wrong exit, your mistakes can easily be corrected. People for some reason though, once they're inside a car, tend to have ridiculously unnecessary emotional reactions to insignificant "bumps in the road." Because I can't know what someone might do if I choose to react to their reaction (flipping them off if they were to honk, for example), I keep it contained and try as best as possible to remain unaffected by it, and doing that has served me well. Road rage is a terrible thing to be susceptible to. Imagine if the common response to accidentally bumping into someone during grocery shopping was to huff and puff and gear up for some kind of fight? Not the world I'd like to live in, so I don't act in ways to facilitate its growth. I'm not suggesting you can expect to drive around without any issues if you completely let your mind wander - gotta be ever watchful for the phone people, the map readers, and the shave-and-drivers, but if cautious enough about those things, it's not an unpeaceful thing.

I love driving and always have. It's something I always looked forward to as a kid and still enjoy now when most people would be "over it". I mean, I don't particularly enjoy interacting with other drivers, many of whom are incompetent or at least inconsiderate, but I love the feeling of controlling the car (which is manual, of course). I spent a day driving around a race track once and that was just awesome! It's a game of skill and control where you get instant feedback - as soon as I went into a corner I knew if it was going to be a good turn or not.

Having said that, I really struggled with driving tests and only passed on the fourth attempt. Learning to drive was enjoyable, but still somewhat frustrating. My parents never gave me driving practice, it was all with a paid instructor. I really wanted to just play around with the car and try things out at my own pace, but I couldn't do that. I actually very nearly passed on the first attempt, but completely failed to notice a STOP sign and that was an immediate failure. The second and third time I was so nervous (because of the previous failure) that I made ridiculous mistakes and failed dismally. I felt really bad about this, too - the driving test failures upset me like very things could. Perhaps it was because I knew I really had the skills to pass and loathed not being in control of myself. At that point I decided to take a long break (about a year), then switched to automatic to make it really easy and passed on the fourth attempt.

Heavy traffic is annoying, but doesn't really stress me out too much. Of course, I have to be on the lookout for people cutting me off and such, but that just comes with experience. Passengers can stress me out, but I'm aware of that, so I don't let them. I do not accept any "passenger input" on my driving and if they start giving any I make it clear early on that it's my way or the highway! I consider myself a competent driver (and have a record of no at-fault accidents to substantiate that), but if they disagree their options include keeping quite and getting out.

How easy did you find it initially, and how long did it take to become comfortable with it?

I didn't find it easy at all initially. There is almost always a lot going on in the roadway and it was hard for me at first to figure out which things were important and which I could dismiss. I tended to focus too narrowly on what was in front of me and forget about what was behind. I also had trouble "feeling" the dimensions of the car so sometimes I took corners too close etc.
My teacher required that the radio be on while we drove, under the assumption that I needed to learn to drive with the distraction, so now I'm uncomfortable and anxious when I have to drive in silence.

How many attempts did it take before you passed your test?

One, but the test was based on a course that demonstrated basic mechanical knowledge (not on the road and no traffic) and the school I went to had a replica of the course that we practiced on. I couldn't drive a lick but I got my license anyway. Safety first!

How do you react in stressful situations, such as heavy traffic or passengers who may make you feel uncomfortable?

Heavy sensible traffic is fine. Heavy unpredictable traffic is scary. In unpredictable, aggressive traffic I have to remind myself frequently to stretch/flex my fingers so I don't grip the wheel too hard. It's important to be loose and relaxed. (get those shoulders away from your ears!) If you're physically tense and jerky, you will drive tense and jerky and you're more likely to wreck.
Passengers don't really cause me problems because I focus on the road. I'll occasionally apologize if I think something I've done has made them nervous, but I also have a strict policy of seat-belt wearing and I rarely if ever go more than 5 mph over the speed limit so I don't think I'm ever that unsafe a driver. (also, I haven't had an accident yet and I've been driving for 20 years)

And anything else you may want to add!

On narrow, busy roads I do whatever I can to stay out of other driver's blind spots. I hug the left side of the lane because I can actually see the space I have to work with. I always try to keep a good cushion of space between me and the car ahead of me. This means I get cut off quite a bit because people see this as an opportunity to change lanes, but I'm generally prepared for that. I think it helps that I tend to be observant and can sometimes work out in advance how the traffic will flow and what this or that driver is likely to do. I've ridden with other drivers who didn't seem able to do that as effectively, so I think it really is an information processing issue. I also try not to put myself in a position where I'd have to brake too hard because the people behind me don't always leave a good cushion of space. So far I've been lucky.
Learning to ride a motorcycle has made me a better driver all around. It's made me better at taking curves and being more aware of my position in other people's mirrors/vision. It's made me more defensive.

How easy did you find it initially, and how long did it take to become comfortable with it? I was really excited about driving and probably had far less fear then most new drivers had which I think helped me be pretty comfortable right away. One problem I did have for awhile was that I saw too much in my prerifriel vision so I was seeing everything I passed by, which made me tense.

How many attempts did it take before you passed your test? I passed on my first try.

How do you react in stressful situations, such as heavy traffic or passengers who may make you feel uncomfortable? I normally have one of my parents with me when driving someplace new or in other stressful situations.

And anything else you may want to add! Things that I would have a hard time driving without are a GPS (I kept getting lost and having melt downs before I got my GPS), sunglasses (I wear them even when it's not sunny), food and/or a book on tap to keep me happy in heavy traffic, and I also have a card in my wallet that explains asperger's syndrome to police officers are other first responders.

I had a terrible car with a standard transmission, so it took a while to coordinate my foot with the break and the clutch. I hated the way the car rolled backwards while I alternated my foot between the two pedals, thinking the car is made for someone with three legs. It used to terrify me, thinking the car would bump the one behind it. All the while, I perceived my mom as enjoying my frustration, which did not help. She would brag about how she had to learn on a standard and it took her no time at all to get it, blah blah blah. This type of rumbles typify her side of the family. I melted down many times over it, but. eventually became great at driving standards.
It took me two times to pass the driving part of the test for my license. I passed the written part with no problem first time. My mom was nice enough to let me borrow her car (with auto transmission) for the driving test. First time, I was with a patrolman and a trainee, which is why I didn't pass. Second time, it was me and a really nice patrolman. I passed with no problem after waiting hours while it rained. It was a very rainy day and tests were not administered in rainy weather conditions.
First time I drove alone was with me and a friend to a rock concert in the car that had the standard. It was the only way I could go. My mom absolutely refused to drive us. "If you want to go, get your license and drive yourself," was her reply to most requests I made. All the time, she knew I had trouble with the standard transmission, clutch, gear shift in the car. Sheesh, if I could get a license with my mother as "support" just about anyone can because she was 100% determined to make things as traumatic as possible. Anyway, driving to the concert. maybe I popped the clutch a minimum of twenty times. I couldn't get the car in gear, either, because on top of it being a standard, it also needed a master cylinder, so it wasn't mechanically sound, either. I was in tears trying to get out of the place where the concert was held. Car wouldn't go into gear, clutch kept popping, car kept dying, and I was in a long line of vehicles trying to exit the place. One of the worst nights of my life as far as frustration went. I asked my mom if I could borrow her car to take, she flatly replied, "no." By the time I got home, I was thoroughly mentally anguished. This was the first time I had ever taken a car out on my own, too.
Eventually, I became much better at driving that car, and I worked my way up to a car with an automatic transmission. Still, I never forgot how to drive the standards after all that.
Driving is one of the easiest activities for me now and I really love it. My driving record is perfect, too.

My dad tried to teach me to drive. My parents were really hoping that my neurologist would let me drive, since I hadn't had a seizure in a while.

I found it very overwhelming. So much to absorb. You have to look to the right, to the left, you have to stay in the middle of the lane, even though you're on the left side, which only makes it even more difficult and complicated than it already is, then you have to stop slowly, and then pick up speed again, etc. The closest I found driving to be easy was the couple of times on the freeway because the speed was pretty constant and it was much simpler. I got headaches afterwards, it was too complicated. I'm actually thankful for my seizures, which keep me from driving. What excuse would I offer if I was allowed to get my license?! I'd have to admit that I just couldn't do it. They'd be furious with me and have another reason to tell me I was lazy.

I only got my license febuary this year at the age of 28, though I had been learning off and on since I was 17. It took me a little while longer than most people I know to get comfortable enough with the controls of the car for them to become second nature. Clutch control was a major sticking point with me and it took a lot of practice to get down, but some people find it easy to learn, i guess its different for everyone and some people just have a natural ability for driving.

Took me 5 tries to pass, mainly due to nerves than anything else. the first 2 tries I failed within 5 minutes of starting out due to panicking and making rush decisions, the 3rd and forth time I drove pretty good but was forced into making a major fault by traffic etc, which I guess is kind of an excuse as theoretically you should be able to handle everything that the road throws at you by the time you tke the test, but thats how it felt to me (people not letting me in when trying to change lanes before a roundabout etc). But I stuck at it and eventually managed to pass. Funnily enough i got more minor faults than ever on the test that i ended up passing.

I love driving now and am pretty relaxed in all situations on the road. Heavy traffic can be a bit nerve rattling at times, not so much on the A roads or motorway but in town when you have pedestrians etc added to the list of things to take in and react to. The thing that annoys me most now is back seat drivers like my sister, who is actually a terrible driver herself but seems to think she has to walk me through every little thing when I drive her anywhere and constantly tells me to slow down when im well within the speed limit etc, makes things more stressful than they should be. Hwne Im driving around by myself though its almost a therapeutic experience. I find myself sometimes just going out for a drive to clear my head etc. Country roads are my favorite places to go and just drive, and Im lucky that I live where I do as there are loads of them here, which are all national speed limit, so I can go pretty much as fast as I want (within reason ).

Wish you all the best with learning to drive man, wish I had stuck with it and passed at your age instead of stopping and starting for so many years.

It took me until I found the right teacher to feel comfortable. He had a great feel for the car - he would deliberately spin it in an empty parking lot.

It took me two tests to pass.

Passengers are a real problem - their heads get in the way of the windows and their weight changes the feel of the car. In stressful situations, stay with the flow of traffic ... be aware of what's going on around you.

I think the tricks to good driving are following the traffic rules, expecting other people to do stupid things and knowing what to expect from your car.

I was hopeless. Cognitively multitasking is a weak area for me, and there are so many things you have to pay attention to.



7 years. 7 long years.



Two attempts. But the way my state in Oz does it decreases the anxiety involved immensely; it's called the 'log book' method. Basically, once you master a skill (overtaking, p-parking etc), it would be ticked off the list. Then when you have everything ticked off, you go for a final lesson with your instructor, and if everything's fine, you get your licence. If, on the other hand, you've made a mistake, you just rebook another 'lesson' and try again. So instead of thinking about it as a test, it's just another lesson, at the end of which you may or may not get your licence.

Well, I went through a stop sign the first time because I didn't see it (just like a previous poster) in the 'final lesson'. Whoops. But my instructor just smiled and said - that's okay, you'll never go through another stop sign again. And since he knew me well, I felt a lot more confident and relaxed with him than with someone I'd never met before.



I swear. Loudly. I'm sure it releases endorphins, or at least gets rid of some tension. I also like to 'talk' to the traffic, especially if it's heavy or being particularly obnoxious, e.g. "okay, so you're going over there, are you? Good to know, maybe don't get too close...like that...what are you doing? Oy! That's a 'three second gap' you just eliminated there. Seriously. If I end up in your backside, don't come complaining to me. I have a bullbar..."

As for passengers, I generally just tell them to keep quiet or get their own mode of transport.

After taking 7 years to learn how to drive (and hating almost every moment of it), I now love it. Especially long drives. So much so I'm planning a massive 4WD trek through Europe.

Pretty easy. Probably one or two months.



Written test or drive test? I passed both the first time when I was 15 years old. In most US states the test is pathetically easy to pass. Just answer about 20 simple questions correctly to pass the written test. Then take a five minute drive around the block to pass the drive test. If you don't crash or do something really stupid, like roll through a stop sign, you pass and they give you your license.



I try to avoid stressful situations, such as heavy traffic as much as much as possible, and I don't drive with passengers that make me uncomfortable. As a matter of fact I try to stay away from people who make me uncomfortable entirely. They sure aren't going to get in my car.

Driving, I was pretty comfortable right away. I think that's mostly because of all the driving video games I played as a kid. I had a wheel and petals hooked up as a game controller, so I was already comfortable with the setup.

Parking is where I had trouble. It took me years to really get a precise feel for how much space I had behind me, and even longer to get a feel for the space to my right. (Your left, I assume... The passenger side of the car.) I've been driving 10 years and had 2 "fender-benders"... Both of which involved me pulling into a tight parking space. I've figured it out though. It's just a matter of experience and learning from mistakes.



3 attempts.

Don't worry if you don't pass the first time. Most people don't.



By avoiding them, mostly. I stuck to the suburbs at first. Didn't drive in the city until I had several years of experience. Also, when I drive long distances, I prefer to go late at night. There's rarely any traffic and I find it much more relaxing.

Otherwise, it can be difficult at first, but you have to try to ignore people honking and whatnot. Most of the time, you're not doing anything wrong. Some people are just jerks.

How easy did you find it initially, and how long did it take to become comfortable with it?
I found it easy, but I did not like it. My mother and aunt forced me to drive at 16.

How many attempts did it take before you passed your test?
I passed the written and driving test the first time.

How do you react in stressful situations, such as heavy traffic or passengers who may make you feel uncomfortable?
It took me until I was 26 to feel comfortable driving with other people. Heavy traffic doesn't bother me much, but I am afraid of pulling out into traffic because I'm not very good at judging the speed of other vehicles on the road.

My mom would force me to drive every time we went out of town and the more I drove, the more I got comfortable with it.

That's really good - glad to hear they do it this way! My instructor wasn't so supportive and the examiner sure wasn't impressed. They both couldn't believe how I could miss something as important as a stop sign and had no sympathy for me. Not that I wanted them to "comfort" me or anything, but if at least one of them simply said "look, you basically drove really well the whole time, except you missed one very important thing, which you'll never miss again" (which would have been quite accurate) I would have felt much more confident and probably would have passed on the second attempt, not the fourth.

I got my permit when I was about 18 and then got my drivers license when I was 21. I passed both tests on the first try. I really hate driving, because I'm of the belief that my city is full of crappy drivers. I often find myself stuck behind someone going under the speed limit in a city with fairly low speeds compared to other cities and in the fast lane. It's one of my biggest pet peeves.

The driving tests around here are notoriously tough, but I finally passed mine after a few tries. The written test was never a problem, it was the driving test itself that was so difficult. I think that was because the people who rode along and scored me while I was driving acted and dressed like military drill sergeants!

Once I finally got my license though, I relaxed and enjoyed driving quite a bit, until my car bit the dust (blown head gasket). I haven't been able to afford another car since then, unfortunately. The only real problems I encountered after getting my license (other than my car dying) were people with road rage issues.