Does anyone agree that you need to obtain what the bullies..

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Who here agrees that in order to avoid being bullied, you need to obtain what the bullies have..

-Money
-Muscles
-Intellect

I know I sound like a superficial douche. However, it just seems people are less prone to bully the weak!! ! Like people say, when in Rome....

Or you could just shoot them. I guess that would be the same as becoming one of them.

I think what you need to avoid getting bullied is enough self confidence that you aren't readily identified as an easy target. Muscles, money, and a mega-mind will not make up for a lack of confidence.

And a lot of it is just luck.

-Shooting sounds good if you want to go to prison and follow adapt to a ENTIRELY new social sub-set rules that will give you a broken nose if you don't follow them..........which probably wouldn't be good for someone who is socially slow

-Pretty sure you will have more self confidence if you obtain the three things I listed.....


I noticed more confidence the more muscle I put on. Now that I am in decent shape, the only thing really holding me back from asking any female out in the world is my job.

I've come to the conclusion that money, muscles and brains don't guarantee self confidence, but having them can help. It seems to be almost symbiotic.

I have tried to promote

Tight, defensive boxing to a draw. One week.
http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt134616. ... 53953497ae

so far without too much success. Hardly anyone else has really joined in the discussion.

In a school setting, or work setting, or neighborhood setting, where you are likely to see the same people over and over again, you do not want to humiliate someone. You'd almost prefer a draw, and be low-key about it. If you 'win,' be gracious about it and don't brag.

To be specific because I do not want to oversell, with boxing skills you can fight someone your own size. And that stuff about post-concussion syndrome is real, so please don't take a bunch of blows to the head during training. And just like football helmets don't really protect, presumably boxing headgear doesn't really protect either. Just tell the instructor, 'I don't want to take a bunch of blows to the head.'

Again, the ability to hold your own against someone your same size, gives you a certain confidence in social situations.

and with these skills you can be the one

'he seems like an alright guy to me' [casual, matter-of-fact]

you stand up for the person at risk of being excluded or bullied. A little bit of the undertone is that you might stand up for the person physically if it comes down to it.

You don't need all 3.

And a friend with one of the 3 - and wiling to stand up for you - will work just fine.

FYI, I'd change that "intellect" to, maybe, "social intellect," or "talented with cutting sarcasm." Some of the most brilliant minds in the universe got bullied when young.

Less prone to bully the weak? Huh?

Nope. I don't agree with that at all. I've met plenty of bullies who had no more money than I do, I'm smarter than 90% of the people I meet, and I've got plenty of muscles, but that doesn't make me aggressive, or coordinated enough to use them in a fight, and it doesn't make me process my thoughts any faster. I'm at a disadvantage with a bully because I can't think quickly enough to counter all the aggression they throw in my face, so I just shut down and try to ignore it, hoping they'll go away. Of course they never do.

Which is dumb. Confidence should come from self-acceptance, not from how you think other people perceive you. It sounds like you're using your appearance to make up for whatever qualities you think you lack, which not only makes you look insecure but which also is exactly something bullies do.

EDIT: I used to hang around a forum where there was this guy who always managed to mention his six-pack and his master's degree in every post he made. Should you ever find this high-paying job you seem to think will solve all your problems, please do yourself a favor and don't do anything similar. We'd feel embarrassed for you.

Agree that why you get bullied has nothing to do with your looks etc. I'm 189cm and 110kg muscley with piercings and shaved head. If anything bullys will manipulate that to their advantage.
The way a bullys brain works, look at the best bullys of all time: the Nazis, and in particular how they portrayed the Jews. They said that they were weak, sub human inferior etc. However to justify their violence towards them they also had to portray them as devious, highly intelligent and in control of all the banks etc. So you can't feel sorry for them for them for being inferior (the left wing/liberal stance) because they are secretly running your life, and hence invading your freedom- almost a self defense defense; and you can't look up to them with respect and admiration for their superior intellects (the right wing/conservative stance) because they look different, and they act different, don't fit in etc.
I've experienced both of these mechanisms literally in the same sentence: Someone told me I was ret*d (and therefore my humiliation was justified) because of my lack of social awareness etc: when i explained (politely) that I had 3 degrees, had just published an academic paper and also ran a design consultancy plus was doing postgrad study I was told that I was arrogant, thought I was superior (and therefore my humiliation was justified). When I laughed at their self contradiction they hit pay dirt in their own eyes: all it did was confirm they were right. Getting angry proves that they were justified in treating me like a dangerous threat (the best defense is a good offense): retreating and hiding conforms that I think that I'm superior, or that I'm ret*d (depends on the reputation of the victim, but they can be safely used interchangeably).
This process just goes on indefinitely: and it is used to justify killing people since day one: (eg Communists are depraved, but they are coming to get you, to rule the world: Black people are subhuman but they are powerful and sexually superior; every religion uses this process about every other religion).
The aspie perspective on all this helps me to understand the processes, of HOW people's 'logic' works, almost the same way you'd pull apart a computer program. What I have no idea of is WHY they would want to do this. Why some people get attacked and not others has always evaded me. Logically it seems like a huge, cruel exercise in wasting resources and needlessly hurting people...
The solution is to be no where near people. Avoid them like Ebola. To paraphrase Nietzsche: when you go to person, take a hammer...

I have dealt with my share of bullies in my school years and let tell you they don't stick around too long when a person who is autistic has problems controlling his anger and actions lol. The best way is just to ignore them and walk away, however if you are alone and they keep on going on you day by day I don't think nothing is wrong with teaching them a lesson. I hold my anger pretty good and it usually takes A LOT to get me angry to the point of violence. I don't fight because I don't want to go to jail though, however if they hit me I have a case XD

I think people should do whatever makes them feel better about themselves, as long as it doesn't hurt anyone. Putting a little muscle on did me wonders, feeling strong and fit can be a good confidence booster. Also the exercise is useful for beating anxiety and depression.

I was bullied until I beat up one of the more popular bullies then they backed off. I joined the marching band, which surrounded me with upperclassmen so that made bullies leave me alone.

You cannot care what they think of you. In fact, you have to learn not to care what anyone thinks of you. Beyond that, the worst they can do is hurt you physically, and that heals. It's very few abuse and bullying victims who end up with permanent injuries, and you probably won't be one of them.

personally, i think the best revenge is success.

i deal with work bullies, and i have some strategies. one of them is to be so incredibly good at my job that they look like jealous as*holes if they try to undermine me.

another strategy is to tell myself fantastic things inside my own head whenever i am in the vicinity of a bully. it is fake and silly, but it boosts my self-confidence so i become less of a target. i won't tell you the things i say to myself, because they are personal and directed inwardly, but it serves to create a bulletproof aura.

i also try to make connections with as many people as possible, as these friends or acquaintances also become allies. but i struggle with this one the most.