Whhhhhhhhy? This doesn't make sense.

Post Reply New Topic

Ok, I know this is really bizarre but why I'm I scared every female I ever come across, it feels so overwhelming especially where I live.
This is all from the bad experience I had with one particular one who I was with last year and broke up 2 months ago and ever since I've been very afraid of what they think of me and what would they do since I was very badly hurt and the pain lasted for a very long time.
Its ok online but in real life, it all scares me and I wanna overcome it and be myself again.

I know it's bizarre and I have a scary feeling I'm gonna be bashed for this.

- Mich.

Social anxiety disorder. Look it up.

Makes sense to me....once bitten, twice shy. It'll probably get better in time, as you're clearly aware of the problem. Might also be worth looking into your upbringing as well, as these things often have their roots in childhood, memories of Mum etc. If that's the case, expect a longer recovery time.

I'm sorry to hear/read this Blint. I know how you feel because I am the same way with men, I run from them in real life, well I don't actually run but I do distance myself from them.

I don't know enough about your situation to say what has caused this for you but from my personal experiences, my fear of men is rooted in my childhood.

I have also realized that I am more comfortable with some men more than other's.

I wonder if you are attracting the same type of woman as the one who hurt you and that's contributing to this anxiety?

TaupeyAna

I had this issue for 2 months, it can't possibly be social anxiety?
But it does however fit in.

- Mich.

Nope, I'm far from attracted to my scary ex. She did after all force me to go out with her.
I was scared to say no and wow, I now can't believe how much that got me to be scared of females.

- Mich.

OK but I think what Taupey is saying is that maybe your scary ex was attracted to you.

Because females are seemingly complex, they tend to use subtle social cues and that can be unnerving to an aspie. However, the wonderful thing is once you get past that, females are wonderful. They are fun to talk to, often have a different take on life, share emotion. talk about what is bothering them... most things I don't understand, but love to hear about. I would rather talk to a female over a male any day and not because I am heterosexual. Women are just more fascinating.

Plus, a trick I have learned. Don't talk with the "pretty" girls ... ignore them, that tends to drive them nuts. Talk with the women that are not getting all the attention. They are just as beautiful and are often much more intelligent, funny, interesting and fun to talk with.

All generalization based on my experiences, but generalizations nonetheless.

It takes time to get over things. You need to give yourself more time.

Yes, that's what I was saying, you might be attracting an aggressive controlling type of woman and that's just what you don't want.

Don't ever be afraid to say NO to anyone if you don't want to do something. I know it's easier said than done.

I don't like aggressive controlling persistant women or men either. Those people are usually toxic in relationships.

Now whenever someone like that acts interested in me, I make it clear I'm NOT interested in them what-so-ever, as quickly as possible.

Never mind but this whole gender thing is very confusing................

Sorrie, I didn't mean to confuse everyone with the whole gender thing, well lets just say that I was self concious to the point I made up a story that I was told.