Is there anything we can really do to help ourselves? Neuro

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I went to go see a doctor.

He percribed me anti depressant meds and kolonopin,

ive been off them for a little while because they arent helping with tthe AS.

I smoke ciggaretts when the anxiety and stress overtakes me here and there.

From 18 to 21 I was in prison for felonies.

It was 4x as hard to be an inmate then the others being that I had AS. I experieced a good number of nightmares in this time, I was suicidal for one year. I fought many people. I was also 135 pounds, a pencil. I still have a lot of scars and fear from this time of my life. I was seeing hell though my eyes, hell on earth, i was deep in the devils den, and i dont believe in god anymore.

I tried social workers but they really werent any help, it seems i got them to talk more then I got to talk.

There is no social anxiety groups in my area.

I have no money, no job, and no degree, just a hi school diploma, I was actually high for my junior and senior year, smoked alota pot in that time.

I hooked up twice with some girls in high school not knowing I had AS, probably because i didnt know i had it I tried, but now that I know I have it I stoped talking and interacting with people, i cant and dont make eye contact.

I searched the web for help, all there really is is wrongplanet.net and thats just the only thing out there where i see the other few AS and autisticc ppl talk about there problems.

Is there anything we can really do to help ourselves?

I am not a troll as a few on this site say.

I am tired of having my neurology hold me back, i cant take it anymore, what is there 2 do?

I have no support system really other then parents providing food and shelter, other then that they have abused me calling me stupid for many years. I dont knnow what to do. Suicide seems like the key, but its not an option because I have caused enough pain for my family.

Honestly? Stop giving up. You think Asperger's means you'll never make it, and as long as you think it, it's true. You won't necessarily succeed at everything without trying just by believing you can make it, but you will make it possible to succeed at some things sometimes, rather than nothing ever. You hooked up with a couple of girls before you knew you had issues; now you know, you think it means you'll never manage to do that. But you DID it, you know you can. You are the same person now as you were pre-diagnosis.

The other thing is, use it to your advantage.

Read the replies on threads you start. Ask for help with specific issues. Learn things. LEARN, man, because if you don't, you'll never get out of this rut.

Learn where Aspies and NTs are equally capable but need to use different methods. Then learn the Aspie methods. Then employ them. Repeatedly.

You will fail. Then you will fail some more. Repeat. Eventually, though, you'll find the trick to this. It'll take time, but you'll figure it out-- little by little, you'll figure it out. It'll get easier and easier. You'll find more and more successes interspersed with your failures. Then you'll find that you're where you want to be.

But that's a long trip. So... where do you want to be in five years? Or maybe ten? How many friends-- what kind of friends-- do you want, and what do you want to do with them, and how often? How much money do you want to make, and what job do you want to have? Where do you want to live?

Answer those questions and more. Then for each answer-- suppose you said "I want to be a vascular surgeon" (just suppose you said that), you'd look at what you need to do to become a vascular surgeon. I'm not totally sure of all the steps, but I think you have to go to medical school, and to go to medical school, you need to go to college. To go to college, you'll need to take the SAT and you'll need to apply. You'll want your SAT scores to be high enough.

So if you want to be a vascular surgeon, you draw out a map of what you need to do--
Study for SAT
SAT
Apply to colleges
Go to college
Medical school
Residency

Whatever the precise stages are. Then you start with the first couple-- how long do you want to take to study for the SAT and how close are you to knowing what you need to? You should get a book (you might be able to check one out from your library) about it. And you should study what's on the test, and then you should study those subjects.

So you break that down further, into specific goals for each day that you will know when you have accomplished. So you might say, if this were the path you wanted--
Tomorrow, check library for books on SAT. You'll have succeeded if you find a book and check it out.
Day after tomorrow, read at least 10 pages (or 5 pages or 20 pages, or you might spend this day figuring out how many pages is reasonable)
Repeat the same number of pages each day (or more if you want and can) until you've read the book.
Return to library.

You'd go on with studying. Then you'd chunk (breaking tasks down into smaller tasks is called chunking and is difficult BUT POSSIBLE for Aspies) applying to colleges. When you got into college, you'd have an overall plan of what courses to take when. You'd chunk each sufficiently large homework assignment. (E.g., "tomorrow, write first 100 words of term paper.") Then you'd do the same thing with, say, going to class.

And if your goal were, instead, to become popular, you'd have specific goals that you'd know when you met, and sub-goals (goals that work toward your big goal, like a homework assignment works toward graduating) that you could meet often (every day or every week or thereabouts). You'd just have different goals, like "say hello to one person" or "smile at the cashier when buying groceries today." (Then your goals would get bigger, but as they got bigger, you'd chunk them whenever they got unwieldy. "Smile at Amy" might be a sub-goal that's part of the sub-goal of "go to Amy's party" that's part of the big goal of "marry Amy." Or Bob, if that's more to your taste.)

Have back-up plans. The first part of this is KNOW WHAT YOUR REAL GOAL IS. Your real goal probably isn't "buy groceries." It's probably "eat food." Or, maybe, "eat nutritious food that tastes good." (Your goals should never be negatives. "Obtain adequate nutrition" is a good goal. "Don't starve to death" is a bad goal. "Don't make people hate me" is a bad goal because it relies on other people's behavior AND because it's phrased as a negative. "Remain on neutral or better terms with everyone" is only a bad goal because it relies on other people's behavior. "Behave in a kind and friendly way toward everyone" is a good goal. Then if someone hates you, that's their problem, not your failure. Unless you didn't behave kindly. Then it is your failure.)

So you might have one plan where you're supposed to go to a specific store and buy milk and cereal. You should have alternatives and know what order to do them in. Plan A is go to Generic Grocery Store A and buy milk and cereal. Plan B is go to Generic Grocery Store B and buy milk and cereal. Plan C is order milk and cereal online. Plan D is go to Generic Fast Food Place for a hamburger. Plan E-- you don't really have to have a plan E. Just be aware that your goal is "eat food." (If your goal is really "eat milk and cereal," then only plans A, B and C will work. But check if it is.)

Finally, on the topic of plans, have a routine to execute when you get stuck. Like when I need to take in groceries, and I have some "rules" in my head that say "do what the package says," "put meat in the freezer" and "put cold things away quickly" and the package of sausages says "keep refrigerated." You need to have one or more routines (one of which should be generic) for what to do when things go wrong and you don't know what to do. If you have no routine, you can end up having a meltdown. I have a few routines, all simple, and I choose which one works best-- "ask someone else," "choose at random," "ignore it." Asking someone else works when there's someone there who knows what to do whom I can ask. Choosing at random is better when the choice doesn't actually matter-- say, Frosted Flakes versus Mini Wheats. (Eenie Meenie Miney Moe works here.) Ignoring it works when the problem is not time-sensitive or when, if left to result in the worst case scenario, it will not cause life-threatening consequences, and when you can't ask for help. Sometimes the choice made is not ideal-- e.g., if your routine for what to do on your period is disrupted, the algorithm suggests ignoring it, which is not the best choice to make, but is preferable to having a meltdown or freezing up, so you pick that.

wow DandelionFireworks that's really great advice. I think you're so right.

I am so much better now than I used to be. there have been things that I've learned that make my life so much easier and some achievements possible so it is possible to learn. you're right.

Since I've started speculating that ASD is why I have struggled so much and come onto this discussion board, I'm learning even more.

I help myself by being happy, accepting my AS and myself and doing all the things that I want to in life. I'm not being cocky either. I choose not to play the victim. There are two types of people who have differences. The fighters who make a life for themselves and choose to be happy and the ones who play the part of the victim. If I can die on my death bed at the age of 90, knowing that I did not once play the victim in my lifetime, I would be a very happy person and that is my ultimate goal.

Very good Advice DandelionFireworks!

I find that I am very good on focusing on one goal, completing it, and then moving on to the next goal. If it is too hard, I'll either set it aside and get back to it later, or divide it up into smaller goals that are more manageable. Most big projects are really just a bunch of easily managed little projects, if you are patient and do them one at a time.

Do gym. If you are an intelligent aspie then I would advise you to be a programmer. Learn programming language in this order C, C++, perl,python and lisp. Also learn linux.
If you already have some interest in science and math then have atleast a graduate degree to become a undergraduate teacher or have a undergraduate degree to become a school teacher. Teaching is one of the few jobs which are aspies friendly.

Thanks for the advice all, my felonies were distribution of MJ and larceny.

Is there anything we can really do to help ourselves?
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Have you tried reading some of those extreme motivational authors like W. Clement Stone, N. Hill, Og Mandino, and Rich DeVos to perhaps shake up your brain neurons a little?

Yes, you are a victim of your nature if you choose to be so.

Good luck with the extensive advices people already gave before me, you can do it!

Cheerfully,
Wallourdes