I was 'outed"

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Well not exactly, but apparently I appear more outwardly autistic than I realized.

I have been selling my artwork at arts and craft shows. Early this year I met a couple that does beautiful enamel and wood sculptures. For some reason they were more friendly to me than most people, and I found that I was more comfortable around them than typical. In my typically clumsy fashion, I never followed up after that show to maintain any contact.

The canopy that I use for the outdoor shows was damaged beyond repair in a wind storm so I needed to cancel the next show. Instead of canceling, I ended up downsizing my display and since it was an indoor show I didn't need the canopy. In a bit of serendipity, the couple I met earlier this year were approached by the organizers of the show and given my booth space. They ended up a few spaces away from me and, stranger than strange they were still quite nice to me.

Well it turns out that the wife was a retired special needs teacher, and had worked with autistic children her entire professional life (she is retired now). Packing up at the end of the show we got to talking about autism and Asperger's (another vendor had piped up about a relative with Asperger's) and after a while I screwed up the courage to mention that I was being evaluated for autism. She turned to her husband and said - "See. I told you so ...".

I guess it's more obvious that I am on the spectrum than I thought.

She has written a book about working with special needs children (not specifically autism)

http://www.amazon.com/Pipe-Dreams-One-Teachers-Journey/dp/0759692807

Check it out.

I am actually going to attempt to maintain contact with these people. I usually screw up social encounters, but this one might actually work out.

She's a special needs teacher though, she's probably worked with people with autistic traits. It's probably not so obvious to your Joe Publics. I'm not sure if it bothers you, or if you're happy, or neither about being outed.

Anyway, I hope you can make the relationship you want with these people, and that your art pursuits are fulfilling and lucrative.

Happy to hear you made some nice new acquaintances.

As to them spotting you, I have noticed that you sometimes tend to puts things somewhat bluntly on WP (no offense, it's just something I noticed) and if you display this tendency IRL as well, it could probably help someone who has some experience with ASD help to spot you.

Anyway, I hope your contact with that couple works out all right and you enjoy the time you spend with them.

Better to be recognized by someone who has a clue than to be stoned as deviant.

I'm really impressed that you were able to figure out that this couple was interesting in helping you-- that's the sort of social skill I completely lack. I also think it was a little rude of the woman to mention her suspicions about you to her husband in front of you, so it's great that you were able to see her good intentions behind it. You may have been "outed," but I think you've shown that you can work past some of the most limiting aspects of AS.

Yeah. I know. I seem to be blunt even among aspies. It bugs me because sometime the harder I try the worse it gets, but if I don't try to filter my words, it REALLY spins out of control.

Sigh.

I'm not so sure I figured anything out so much as went with the flow. It's uncommon that people actively choose to interact with me beyond surface contact. Since the weren't put off by me I just tried not make a total ass of myself and see what happened. It probably helped that I REALLY liked their artwork. It gave me a point of connection to them, something I could actually talk about.

I really don't think she was rude. In the context of the conversation, what she said seemed appropriate. She wasn't condescending at all.

Yes-- I could do something like this if I felt connection over artwork. Still think you aren't giving yourself enough credit.

Maybe I'm not. But I manage to irritate people on this forum. And it's filled with people that implicitly understand there own capacity to irritate. It really is uncommon for people to go beyond cursory interaction. It's even more uncommon that I follow up on it.

It's no exaggeration to say that I have no friends. As in zero. I have one person that might qualify as a friend but we never socialize.

People confuse me. Simple as that.

I have no friends right now, other than the ones I have online.
I have a boyfriend, but I think we might break up. I'm really scared about it because if we do I will really have no one at all in my life.

Still better will be the day when those who would stone deviants are the ones who are ostracised.

As a special ed teacher, she probably knew what autism looked like. It's likely less obvious to the general public.

Only once have I been recognized as autistic by a non-expert who didn't have an autistic family member. But those who know autism can generally tell that I'm on the spectrum.

Wavefreak, what is the possibility of seeing your artwork?

My Website
My Deviant Art account

Thank you.

I think we might be quite similar in this regard.



And this one, too.

I was first alerted to AS after being asked repeatedly if I had AS (or told I had it) by people on various online forums. Many of them were very irritated by me and others just seemed curious. This made me a bit annoyed and a bit paranoid. It started to happen so often that I eventually researched Aspergers thoroughly. But I had no idea that I was so obviously different to NT's even through text online. It's a bit disconcerting.