Is my son too old or is it too late to get ssi?

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Alright I am a bad mom. My son is 22 and I always thought that he was just very shy and anti social. He was always bullied and misunderstood in high school and did not have many friends. Just to let you know what I was doing this time his 19 year old sister is Bipolar/ocd/anxiety issues. From 11 till she was 17 she attempted suicide 10 times and was hospitalized 13 times. I also had a 1 in a million(or so the vasectomy doc said) baby who is 3. I now realize from classes for bipolar that he has Aspergers. He is living with my ex,stays upstairs all day playing World of Warcraft18 hours a day, does not eat. He is 6' 3 and 136lbs. My ex works 80 hours a week and really thinks he is just lazy and could care less what happens to him. I am going to get him to move in with my husband and I . He hates it here because we live in a 2 bedroom house and my 3 year old is real noisy. I want him to live on his own but do not have the means to pay for a bigger house or an apartment for him. I do have excellent insurance and he was added on because of the new law. I am taking him to an appointment and want to help but I am afraid that I have waited too late to get him any help.

This is the perfect time to get SSI. If he's demonstrably disabled by 22 years old, he can also get SSDI benefits based on your SS benefits (at least after you retire) in addition to SSI benefits.

It's not to late to help him learn to live independently (with or without support), as others on this forum have done so in their 30s or later. It may be that he won't be able to learn to live independently, but it's hard to say either way just from what you've said.

Part of it is, like...when I don't have routine, I can play video games or haunt forums (cought) or read books or watch television/movies for 12+ hours a day. If I make a schedule, it's easier for me to get some variety in my day.

I currently live in a house with a 2.5 year old and a 1.5 year old, and let me tell you, this combined with hyperacusis is intermittently disabling. A big part of the problem, however, are the adults taking care of the children.

Would you be willing to give him your bedroom and sleep in the living room or put the little kids in the living room instead?

If he has auditory sensitivity to the point that he cannot live with children, that may be why he would rather live on the street. Sounds drastic, yes, but trust me when I say that some sensations can be literal torture for us and there's just no way to stay sane constantly exposed to them. For him, living with kids may be as bad as it would be for you if people around you were constantly playing with air horns and firecrackers.

Chronos is right about not being overbearing. Your son may be disabled, but he's an adult and his life is his own. Don't try to push too much on him; it's going to be bad enough having to move without immediately having lots of demands placed on him... An evaluation is a good idea--not just for SSI but because if he's diagnosed he can access a lot of useful services like job training, occupational therapy, etc. aimed at helping him learn how to take care of himself and possibly support himself. Find a time when you're both calm and the kids are asleep and talk to him about it. He'll probably still use all of his free time playing WoW, of course, but that's to be expected with an Aspie who has a special interest that strong. The important thing is that he starts in on learning the stuff he needs to know. I wasn't diagnosed until age twenty myself, at which point I'd already had issues because I couldn't take care of myself... but at age 27, I have caught up to a great degree. After all, being autistic doesn't stop you from learning things.

Re. being thin and AS: It could be that he simply forgets to eat and/or can't detect when he's hungry. I wouldn't worry about anorexia unless you have more reasons than just his being skinny.