I HATE the mall on saturdays!! ! >:(

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So I met up with my boyfriend at the mall and we had fun but his friend decided to pick him up because he wanted to hang out so my boyfriend walked with me to the food crout of the mall and went in the car with his friend and he left me alone at the mall. There was alot of people there because it was saturday and I was alone in crowds of people and I was walking there to find my mom because she was there to and I was walking to meet up with her but there was to many people every where and I got angry and I started to run. So I was running through mall like a crazy person because the noice and amounts of the people made me angry. And then this cop yelled at me for running wich only made me run faster. Until I ended up in the parking garadge. I found my mom she was waiting for me in her car and I got in the car and started crying. That whole thing isnt conciderd a meltdown though is it? And does any one else hate the mall on saturdays?

I hate the mall any day of the week. Sounds like it could have been a meltdown, since you were feeling angry. If you were scared, I would be inclined to call it a panic attack... but I'd say it was probably a meltdown .... what happened after you got in the car and your mom drove away? how long did it take you to balance out?

Yeah, I don't like malls, either. Too many people, sights, sounds, and smells. I need to have someone with me at all times, otherwise I start to get all confused and frustrated by all the people walking about. That said, your boyfriend shouldn't have left you alone in a place like that knowing that you have AS; that's just common sense. What a bone-headed thing to do to someone who panics in social environments.

Well I got in the car and I knew she was mad because I was suposed to meet up with her 10 mins ago so I was late. I got in the car and just started crying and she asked me what was wrong. I had a hard time getting the words from my head out of my mouth to explain to her why I was upset. After I pretty much explained it she tried to hug me but I pulled away. I was angry and still crying for about 8 mins maybe. I tend to bounce back quick from just about any thing.

He knows I have AS and I have explained to him what it is but he still doesnt get it. I know he didnt know that would happen to me. I didnt know that would happen to me after he left, but it did.

And that is precisely the reason why I refuse to date NTs.

I do avoid busy shopping centres on Saturdays. Where I come from there's a lot of aggressive people in busy towns like that on Saturdays more than any other day of the week, and I seem to always see a lot of big families with hoards of kids about, and I think if it weren't for kids I wouldn't get so anxious. Kids aged birth to 4 are always seen screaming, kids aged 4-7 never look where they're going and they run right into you, kids aged 7-11 seem so hyper these days when they're together, and kids aged 11+ are older and are even worse because they're not with their parents. I can't be doing with all that, so that's why I generally avoid busy shopping centres on Saturdays.
Plus I get in the way, other people get in my way, people keep staring at me and it's so distracting besides so intimidating, and I just can't concentrate because there are people, people and more people everywhere! But as I said, if kids were took out of the population in a shopping centre, I would have no sensory issues (apart from adults who shout and laugh loud).

I'm sorry to hear that happened to you. I understand how you felt. I would consider it a meltdown. Yes, I hate malls and shopping period especially if it's crowded with people and they're loud. If I could do all of my shopping online and have it delivered to my door, I would be beyond happy.

I use to think something was seriously wrong with me because I hated to go shopping so much, unlike a lot of other females, then I found out I'm just an Aspergian.

I don't care for malls any day of the week. I'm not particularly fond of crowds of any sort, though some I can tolerate better than others.

Uh, sorry, but no it isn't common sense.

We NTs have to be educated that it's a problem to leave someone in the mall like that, just as I've found that people who do not have autoimmune disorders or food allergies (like I do) have to be educated on what that means to those who do not have to deal with those issues as a matter of their daily lives.

I'm not clear on whether it was mutual agreement whether the boyfriend left you at the mall or not, but if:

1. There was no agreement, uh, you need to bring this up with your boyfriend for how inconsiderate it was. It would be inconsiderate even if you were NT and show a lack of caring. If I had a bf who did that I would be thinking how much I really wanted him for a bf, I guess.

or

2. If there was an agreement and you realized a meltdown was a possibility, it behooves you to tell the bf what you need. He will not be psychic any more than the next person. Did you say your mom was there? He might've escorted you to where she was before he left, maybe?

I do realize that communication is difficult for people for various reasons, being on the spectrum posing some particular problems. I expect it would take more and possibility some different sort of work to make it happen, though.

I'm thinking of avoiding places with high concentrations of people if I can. I always end up needing a full-blown nap later.

I don't know if this is unusual or not, but I automatically dislike the people around me just for being there. Another reason to just stay away.

sounds like you have a super-nice mom. My adopted mother would have just been angry, and would not have tried to understand me, would have told me that it was my responsibility for being late, and would have been angry at ME letting the boyfriend make me late... and then she would yell at me and lecture me and ask me questions that have no point except to force me to admit that I was wrong and insensitive to her needs... which would only add to the horrible trauma of the day at the mall.

Point I'm trying to make is, you had a meltdown. I think that is 100% understandable, and I bet a lot of us would have had one. And your mom WAS mad, until she listened to you and realized how upset you were, then she tried to hug you (which might not have been what you were looking for at that moment, I understand that, I really do) but all in all, I think you have a nice mom. And that is the point I'm trying to make. Having her for an advocate and ally will help you so much in this world. ♥

edited to add: I'm not so impressed with the boyfriend, however >:(

When I was in my teens and pretty well into my 20s I would feel that way easily. I think in my case mostly that was because I'm fairly introverted, but also I would automatically view other people with suspicion, since they generally seemed to either pose a danger to me or at best would bother me for daring to be who I am and not like the cookie cutter stereotype they said I "should" be.

I think it gets easier to deal with as you get older maybe because there are fewer places life expects you to be, so you can pick and choose more than when you're younger.

I find I choose the times and places I go to reduce the annoyance factor. I'm not into standing in a long line at a movie theatre listing to someone's loud cellphone call about how awful their date was last night, so I just choose to go on Sunday morning to avoid the silliness and the inconvenience. But then, I can choose my times easier than a lot of people can.

The only thing I don't like at the mall are those people at the kiosks who try to get you to try cosmetics and junk. One time one of them kept asking me if I wanted to try something on my hands. I said no thanks. He kept on asking me even though I said no several times, and it was really freaking me out.

I'm too to fond of malls either, too many people...

However, I do like the food court in malls, I'm the type of person that loves to eat, but the crowds can be a bit much, so its bittersweet.